Concerns about a writing assignment:

Total posts: [3]
1 NickTheSwing12th May 2013 09:05:40 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Swing, not Slide
I am currently writing an assignment for a creative writing class, and I am worried that, with the plot I have planned out, it might get confusing and / or have some things come outta nowhere.

I am trying to make a dramatic fantasy feel, wherein two guys from different walks of life meet during the days before a battle at a castle that is doomed to failure.

The first is Siegren, a noble knight who saw his unit eliminated almost to a man by the Dark forces, his best friend Kieren taking a lance to the chest for him.

The other is Nasch, a Dark Elf who was a part of a reclusive Mage's College that has led a troubled life. He seems very, very nice and withdrawn, to contrast the louder and more assertive Siegren. He often reminisces for a lost loved one, and his "Master" died in a magic duel with the Big Bad, "King of Demons" Silmarill and his Dragon Dhalak.

The main plot twist I want to set up is that Nasch summoned Silmarill to this plain of existence, engineered his master's death, engineered his college's death and later personally murders Siegren and raises him as a Geig of the Aiphas Rank...

Because he faced racism from them because he was the lone Dark Elf there, and they outright threatened the woman of his dreams out of loving him back, and she ended up getting knocked up by some random magic user and died in despair. And when Nasch tried to have a funeral, some teenage Mages set fire to his Dark Elf traditional proceedings.

I want to do this, have Nasch ultimately be the main antagonist of the piece, and not have it come out of the blue, and slowly reveal Nasch's trauma before revealing him to be the Big Bad, while laying out exactly why its not unbelievable for him to feel this way.

The feel I want is to have Nasch basically not change his demeanor at all. Stay calm, affable and friendly, but be doing really bad things.

How do I do this without turning Nasch into a Complete Monster? Is his Freudian Excuse sufficient to him wanting to basically commit localized omnicide?
2 demarquis14th May 2013 10:25:56 AM from Hell, USA , Relationship Status: Buried in snow, waiting for spring
Who Am I?
Of course not, they never are. Since the excuse is insufficient (and it would have to be, wouldn't it, or he isn't really a villain), the readers will be forced to conclude that he actually suffered from some sort of character flaw before the incidents occurred. And why not? That's just as interesting. Having an antagonist who offers a Freudian Excuse that is eventually revealed, in story as a lame rationalization, is a better approach than the traditional use of this trope, which is becoming a tired cliche anyway.

edited 14th May '13 10:26:21 AM by demarquis

“There’s room for all of us here... But there’s no middle ground between ‘We belong here’ and ‘No you don’t.’
3 NickTheSwing14th May 2013 07:02:46 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Swing, not Slide
Yeah, while his excuse would be good for just destroying the College, he summoned freaking Silmarill and had him destroy a lot more than just the college.

A lot of people who had nothing to do with it died.

Hmm, now how to play the reveal that Nasch was Evil All Along.

edited 14th May '13 7:02:58 PM by NickTheSwing

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Total posts: 3