Women's Issues

It was basically spousal rape, a lot of people don't belive that spousal rape is a thing.

Not just that, but in a lot of places it flat out isn't a thing..... as in its not considered rape. :/

We were like that until after 2012, and I still haven't seen a case of the husband being convicted, the judge always rules that it is your duty as a wife....

I agree. There are so many issues to talk about in regards to the subject and how it's portrayed in media that I don't even know where to start.

There are some works I won't even check out because I hear of how they handle tropes like Rape as Comedy. Then, there are incidents like when Daniel Tosh infamously asked the audience during a show if it would be funny if a woman who heckled him was raped. That's just sheer misogyny. I can't stand how Comedy Central can have Tosh.0 on the air while also having some shows that are actually good, though I understand that the show is cheap to produce.

/rant

edited 21st Jul '17 5:54:08 PM by BearyScary

So the book was much better at handling rape than the show. That explains a lot about why I heard very different things on how GoT/ASoIaF treated rape scenes.

edited 22nd Jul '17 6:47:55 AM by hellomoto

The book series was bad in its own ways, such as treating the horrific gang rape of a minor character as a joke and Running Gag throughout several books.

edited 6th Aug '17 3:37:23 PM by Galadriel

edited 7th Aug '17 12:33:35 AM by hellomoto

It should be noted that Cersei still said no in the book. It wasn't the same scene in the show, but it wasn't quite as cut and dry as it's portrayed.

Maybe this is the best place to post this? Idk, but I need some advice.

So I'm a female mathematician, currently working on the statistics side of biomedical research. My new job requires me to learn a completely new programming language from the ground up, quickly. A bit daunted by this, I figured I should try getting a tutor to make my life a little easier.

But it seems that all my "woman in STEM" insecurities that have been building up over the years have made me utterly terrified of having a male tutor. Because I'm afraid of struggling with computer science in front of a man. This has always been a bit of a problem for me. Luckily my university has a lot of women in their STEM departments so I've never been the only woman anywhere, but I can't imagine what I would do if I were the only woman in a department. I'd be so afraid of messing up (and "proving" that girls suck at math/comp sci/whatever) that I wouldn't be able handle working there.

So I went ahead and ignored all replies from male tutors. Which makes me feel like a huge jerk since they went out of their way to contact me and I'm sure they're perfectly capable and respectful people. But it's just too much anxiety

Like I'm supposed to be the confident Woman in STEM^TM. I have several prestigious grants, I teach science to Girl Scouts. What is my problem?

If you're really concerned about looking like an idiot in front of a male tutor, then don't worry about it. Just look for a female tutor. The most important thing you need to do is ensure you get good training.

On another note...a guy would have to be a real asshole to consider a woman struggling during training to be "proof" that women can't cut it in STEM. Especially since most people regardless of gender struggle during training. If the things you were being trained to do were easy, dedicated tutors wouldn't be necessary in the first place.

Honestly I wouldn't worry too much about it. I had trouble in some of my later computer programming classes because my professor was kinda crap at explaining things, and the tutors were all too happy to help as long as you show genuine interest in the subject and wanting to improve. It's their job to help you do better. If they ever show any sign that they don't think you're actually capable of learning, whether or not it's because you're female, then you should report their ass for failing at the whole point they're there.

I can't really say I know what to do, especially not since I am starting to get my own STEM related anxiety, especially after the news things last month... sorry....

Huh whattaya know, this comic came up in The Nib recently: Women in STEM Speak Up

Any comments from the female STEM posters on how (frustratingly?) accurate this is?

I feel like I've been kind of sheltered so far in my STEM career. The university I go to and work at happens to be overwhelmingly female (68% of the student body) It's also very ethnically diverse (only about 25% white). A large portion of the student body is made up of immigrants (I've heard there are over 100 languages spoken by students here, and I believe it) and a lot of students are low-income. I didn't choose it for that reason, it just happens to be that way. But since it is, all my STEM programs have a lot of women and POC in them. White men are very outnumbered, simply due the demographics at my school. The white men that do work there definitely wouldn't be working at my school if they were sexist or racist. About half of my advisors are female too. I've never faced discrimination from anyone that mattered (snide comments from relatives, yes. Not being hired for a job, no.) and I've never been the only woman anywhere.

But this leaves me afraid for the day that I leave my college bubble and go into the real world

edited 6th Sep '17 11:32:28 AM by Cailleach

Honestly, I have some deep respect for women in STEM, specially in computer science.

Unlike the majority of the guys I've seen in the field, including myself, who were there thinking they are going to make money or be the next Steve Jobs or the next John Romero or simply picked the course because they didn't have much else to think off, most of the women I've seen in STEM really want to be there and are dedicated enough to put up with bullshit I know most guys wouldn't have the guts to go through.

As I man, I can't say much for leaving bubbles from a female perspective obviously, but I went from being an intern in the IT department of my college to working with freight loading and delivery, which meant I left a very intelligent and educated environment to work with people who don't even have a finished primary education, so I can tell at least something about leaving my bubble and being the odd one out.

It really took some time to earn the respect from other colleagues due to being considered a wimp who never had a real man's job before, it was hard at first but the first thing you need to do is to at focusing your doing your job on the best of your capabilities and don't back down when someone tries to make a fool out of you or put your capabilities into doubt.

It is going to be tough at the beginning and there will be moments that will make you want to quit, but you will need to find something to motivate you to soldier on, my motivation was simple I need the money, you will need to find yours. Having someone inside and/or outside the work place to at least listen what you're going through helps dealing with it too.

Not everything is a 7 headed monster waiting for you, some companies can be challenging, others can be fairly pleasant to work in and a few others aren't simply worth it. However you still need to take a first step to find out which is which.

The thing I could tell from what I've read on your posts, you're going through the same thing I did when I graduated. It is a fear that no one will value or respect you and that your capabilities aren't good enough.

Though the reasons for those doubt are different I can assure you the outcome will be similar. I let this fear rule me and all it did was to bring me grief and regret. I lost a lot of good opportunities simply because I didn't believe I was good enough for them and plenty of those were because I was afraid of trying and failing. In the end I ended up in a job I hate because of it, going to a shrink to deal with this fear and frustration and I am currently trying to shake that fear out.

You already said it, you have the qualifications and the experience, its all you need and to hell with those who doubt it. They don't rule you, the only person who you have to account things for is yourself.

Sadly that comic is incredibly accurate, I still remember when I had to call a manufactures support line to figure out how to remove a screw so I could take off a plastic panel without damaging it (the screw was behind the panel that it was holding down which rendered a screwdriver ineffective) and the asshole on the other end would not help me at all, and kept demanding to talk to my husband.....

.....

I am not married, I was doing my job, I work with that shit daily, and nothing could be said to convince him of this......

And it wasn't exactly an uncommon occourance either, I regularly had customers ask for a male co-worker despite me being the 3rd highest ranking person in the store......

So #Me Too! has been going where women (and some men) who ever been sexually harassed/assaulted says... Me Too.

Not within the scope of this thread but I'm glad the hashtag is encouraging more men to speak out about it too.

The version I’ve seen is women only, didn’t know that there’s a gender neutral one making the rounds.

Me Too.

Me Too as well. I am glad that there is a tag that addresses that male sexual harassment is a thing as a guy whom has dealt with it before sadly (and has only found sympathy from women).

This is from last week, but it's probably relevant.

What To Do With “Shitty Media Men”?

So apparently there's this Google spreadsheet being passed around anonymously among women who work in the media in which they can name "shitty media men" so that other women will be prepared for them.

There are of course some complications since it's an anonymous Google spreadsheet.

Thoughts?

I saw this in a pdf issue of the New York Times, about a start-up helping women connect with other women for crafts and quilting. I'm posting it mainly because of a few lines buried halfway through the article, bolded by me. ^{Full article text} 

Yeah it reeks of enforcing strict gender roles. I understand the value of women-only spaces, but if the menfolk get "scared" off they should see it as a sign to be more encouraging and inclusive towards them.

I don't know if you guys had this discussion yet, but they are finally changing the Wench Auction scene from the Pirates Of the Caribbean. Say goodbye to the Wenches For Sale to the Redhead forcing the aristocrats to give them all their loot. Disneyland Paris already has changed, and in 2018 they are going to do that to the other parks. Like the changes done to the pirates chasing women and the pooped pirate, this has been met with complaints about it being too PC or people are for it since it gives us female pirates and does with the unsettling implications of the previous scene. X Atencio, who died last year, said that they were turning them into the Boyscouts of the Caribbean when they made changes in 1997, just imagine his reaction when if he learned they were going to cut out this scene. For the pro-change side, I would say that they do have justification because if you actually seen concept art, you would see that there were originally plans to put in female pirates. And the portrait of the redhead has always implied she would delve into a career in piracy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I50z6c4FSjs&t=177s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eivyE3YXKBg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeazFVoDr2c&t=531s

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=14816301260A67023800&page=83#2069

I lifted this from the other thread, since it would make more sense to discuss here.

edited 11th Jan '18 11:43:02 AM by firewriter

When dropping Youtube links you should summarize what they're about since not all of us have the time or ability to view them all.