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New Crusader Kings 2 DLC: The Aztecs Invade Europe:

 1 Santos L Halper, Thu, 1st Nov '12 3:03:55 AM from The Canterlot of the North
A Gentlecolt and a Bard
Just when Europe thought it was safe from troublesome Eastern foes, a new blood-curdling threat looms off the Western coast in Crusader Kings II: Sunset Invasion.

In the latest DLC for the critically-acclaimed strategy/RPG Crusader Kings II, Paradox Interactive and Paradox Development Studios pose the question what would have happened if the Aztecs invaded 13th Century Europe?

For the first time ever, Paradox Development Studio is introducing a fantasy scenario in their strategy games. Introducing a wealth of new features to appease the angriest of sun gods, the upcoming Crusader Kings II DLC brings the savage, blood drenched Aztec civilization to European shores, determined to wreak carnage on its inhabitants. Cower in fear at the invaders strange gods and rituals including the potential peril of having your vital organs offered up to these vengeful deities in sacrifice. Anything to keep them happy!

It will be survival of the fittest to survive the onslaught of the menacing Mesoamerican warriors, bringing with them exotic and deadly diseases, and an appetite for destruction.

There are just so many things wrong with this I can't even start listing them.
Belted plaid and mane sae braw,
Bonny Pony, Skyland Pony,
Have yet been at Canterlot,
Bonny Pony, Skyland Pony?
 2 Nicknacks, Thu, 1st Nov '12 3:10:33 AM from Land Down Under
Ding-ding! Going down...
Are you making the argument that it's a tin-eared allegory for American neo-con Mexican invasion concerns, or because it's silly?
This post has been powered by avenging fury and a balanced diet.
 3 Spooky Mask, Thu, 1st Nov '12 3:26:10 AM from Corner in round room Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Insert title
Yeaaaaaaaaah, this is offensive and very silly at same time tongue
Time to change the style, for now
 4 Nicknacks, Thu, 1st Nov '12 3:49:38 AM from Land Down Under
Ding-ding! Going down...
It could be ironic and subversive, attacking colonial attitudes by reversing the roles.
This post has been powered by avenging fury and a balanced diet.
 5 Spooky Mask, Thu, 1st Nov '12 3:51:04 AM from Corner in round room Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Insert title
Eh, Aztecs were more than just that culture that had human sacrifices tongue
Time to change the style, for now
 6 Nicknacks, Thu, 1st Nov '12 4:00:16 AM from Land Down Under
Ding-ding! Going down...
It's like Catholics and exorcisms.

I was being facetious before, but yes. The marketing on this is dumb and suggests dumbness.
This post has been powered by avenging fury and a balanced diet.
 7 Arilou, Thu, 1st Nov '12 5:03:12 AM from Quasispace
Taller than Zim
It's most likely a troll a the EUIV native american thread (which is really, really long and repititive)
"No, the Singularity will not happen. Computation is hard." -Happy Ent
 8 Santos L Halper, Thu, 1st Nov '12 5:25:00 AM from The Canterlot of the North
A Gentlecolt and a Bard
S/he must be a very devoted troll to have gone through the lengths of getting this on Paradox's news site AND making fake screenshots.
Belted plaid and mane sae braw,
Bonny Pony, Skyland Pony,
Have yet been at Canterlot,
Bonny Pony, Skyland Pony?
 9 Psyclone, Thu, 1st Nov '12 6:08:41 AM from Somewhere else
A Superior Spider-Man
I don't think this is a racist thing since Paradox is a SWEDISH developer. I think they just decided to make something silly, probably inspired by the confirmed "Evil King Washington" Assassins Creed III DLC.

edited 1st Nov '12 6:12:02 AM by Psyclone

Any child can follow rules. True adulthood is knowing which ones to break and when.
 10 Game Chainsaw, Thu, 1st Nov '12 6:17:47 AM from sunshine and rainbows!
The Shadows Devour You.
I'm pretty sure being Swedish doesn't prevent you from being racist or from stereotyping others. Then again I'm not accusing Paradox of being racist either, seeing as I know little about this.

edited 1st Nov '12 6:18:15 AM by GameChainsaw

 11 Journeyman, Thu, 1st Nov '12 7:01:28 AM from Here and there.
It's the Over Lord!
Eh . . . I find it wrong but not for political reasons. I just don't see the Aztecs winning even in 13th century Europe. Their continent was smaller, AND they lived in the tropical areas . . . In Europe you have wide open plains where CAVALRY (Another nifty thing the Aztecs didn't have) and archers can have clear views of their targets. You also have this little thing called Winter, and Snow. Yeah . . . this is definitely fantasy. Aztec, meet Viking. You think YOU'RE badass? This man will rip your lungs out through your back and make you into fucking artwork. Have fun with that.
When the hammer falls and your world shatters, I'll be there to cut the handle and pick up your pieces.
 12 the Librarian, Thu, 1st Nov '12 7:22:46 AM from his own little world
That all you got?
The reason that the "King Washington" DLC even happened was because it was plausible. This is just stupid! The Aztecs only had canoes! Plus there's the problems that they're going to have with plate armor, and heavy cavalry, and siege equipment, and crossbows and all sorts of other stuff!
That is the face of a man who just ate a kitten. Raw.
 13 Kayeka, Thu, 1st Nov '12 7:26:53 AM from Amsterdam Relationship Status: Brony
World's biggest wannabe
An Aztec civilisation that had the ability to cross the oceans wouldn't really look very Aztec in the first place.

Eh. All in the name of good fun, I guess.
Friend code for fun, profit, and smash: 0130-1781-6865
 14 the Librarian, Thu, 1st Nov '12 7:28:51 AM from his own little world
That all you got?
So the people that play this game get to slaughter thousands of poorly-armed primitives that had the misfortune to think everywhere else was like them. Yep, that's good fun XD
That is the face of a man who just ate a kitten. Raw.
 15 Spooky Mask, Thu, 1st Nov '12 8:29:02 AM from Corner in round room Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Insert title
Well, Cracked article did point out that(apparently) Native Americans could have actually won against Europeans if they hadn't had plague that killed majority of them so I guess Aztecs technically might be more advanced than people think by time they died out?*shrugs* I dunno, I know nothing about Aztec civilization.

That article also pointed out that (apparently) Native Americans were much less "Primitive" than what USA's history books teach.

edited 1st Nov '12 8:30:05 AM by SpookyMask

Time to change the style, for now
 16 Kayeka, Thu, 1st Nov '12 8:41:48 AM from Amsterdam Relationship Status: Brony
World's biggest wannabe
[up]They would've won only because they would have had the home field advantage, and any European reinforcements would have to travel around the world to be of any use.

In a 'fair' war, there would be little they could do against European cavalry, artillery and armour.
Friend code for fun, profit, and smash: 0130-1781-6865
 17 Spooky Mask, Thu, 1st Nov '12 8:45:14 AM from Corner in round room Relationship Status: Non-Canon
Insert title
Hmm, good point I guess.
Time to change the style, for now
 18 Journeyman, Thu, 1st Nov '12 9:23:37 AM from Here and there.
It's the Over Lord!
And if they were invading, they would still have to deal with the diseases, although they'd certainly spread some of theirs around too. and then there's the armor aspect. Living in a tropical region with lots of wood, you'd expect them to have light armor based on wood plating, instead of metal. When things get cold, they'll feel it like Napoleon's troops facing down a Russian Winter.
When the hammer falls and your world shatters, I'll be there to cut the handle and pick up your pieces.
 19 Arilou, Thu, 1st Nov '12 9:32:49 AM from Quasispace
Taller than Zim
Again, this is pretty much a giant troll by Paradox. I approve.
"No, the Singularity will not happen. Computation is hard." -Happy Ent
 20 Journeyman, Thu, 1st Nov '12 9:38:52 AM from Here and there.
It's the Over Lord!
They've gotten us on a roll, you can't stop that with a troll. tongue
When the hammer falls and your world shatters, I'll be there to cut the handle and pick up your pieces.
 21 Kerrah, Thu, 1st Nov '12 9:45:20 AM from Helsinki, Finland
Pure cuteness
I want to play as Mongols, or other pagan factions. Hell, I want to unify Pagan Finland and conquer Sweden.

If they actually skip making existing pagan factions playable, I'll be severely disappointed by the existence of this as a replacement.
Knowing is growing.
 22 Joesolo, Sun, 18th Nov '12 11:33:29 AM Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Indiana Solo
This kinda sounds fun. I'm buying almost all the DLC for crusader kings right now because game stops got it on sale really cheap for download. I wasnt sure on the unit packs, but hey, you can't go wrong for 49 cents.
I am going to shove the sunshine so far up where the sun don't shine that you will vomit nothing but warm summer days -Belkar
 23 Besserwisser, Sun, 18th Nov '12 11:39:49 AM from Planet of Hats
I really like alternative history (even when it's somehow silly) so I approve of this. Yes, the actual Aztecs would have small chances to overrun Europe. But the idea is just so inherently fun that I'm willing to overlook that.

 24 Known Unknown, Sun, 18th Nov '12 11:55:31 AM from Here. There. Everywhere.
Fresh For 2014
So-called "primitive" cultures tended not to be quite so defenseless as we like to think of them nowadays, and most required subterfuge and additional kinds of attacks to subdue. For example, lots of people don't know that a lot of early naval and land battles between European nations and West Africans tended to not quite go Europe's way, which is why missionary work + spreading economic influence (as well as fueling local wars then taking control of both winners and losers) tended to become the most prevalent means of colonization.

edited 18th Nov '12 11:57:03 AM by KnownUnknown

"My final prayer: O my body, always make me a man who questions!" — Frantz Fanon
 25 Joesolo, Sun, 18th Nov '12 1:00:33 PM Relationship Status: watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ
Indiana Solo
Besides, it's not "the aztecs climb in boats and invade Europe", it's "The Aztec empire rises earlier, spread like wildfire and developes quickly, then invades Europe"

My Head canon is those Roman ships they found in Brazil landed in the Aztec empire instead, and either the head of the crews took over, or the Aztecs enslaved them and learned metal working and such, then expanded throughout the new world, then invaded Europe.

Because seriously, though they did defeat europeans that came here at times, they'd NEED metal working and more advanced ships somehow.

EDIT- Alright looked into the expansion some more. Head canon changed to exclude the metal working bit because their units seem to show them invading europe WITH CLUBS. -_-

Disliking this slightly. That's just ridiculous. They probably could have invaded africa fairly well, but The europeans' armor would ruin them. Paradox should have at least given them metal weapons...

edited 18th Nov '12 1:07:51 PM by Joesolo

I am going to shove the sunshine so far up where the sun don't shine that you will vomit nothing but warm summer days -Belkar
Total posts: 32
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