So you reported the insane cow to the durian-holding leering policewoman? Was it even doing anything illegal? Is there some law against being an insane cow that I don't know about?
dizzy
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-"Quaeda", and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in "gorilla" warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
Thing is, I'm British.
edited 23rd Jul '14 3:44:54 AM by MrLavisherMoot
simple as
How does someone blow bubbles in a hamburger, alien or not? Nevermind, I'm better off not knowing. Good luck with your midget sniper situation.
Jolly Saint Nick
blow bubbles Never, I'm better than
Better than what? And you don't need to be so snooty, blowing bubbles is fun even if little kids are the ones who do it most.
Happy Holidays to everyone! Have a great end of the year, and an even better 2015- you all deserve it!
hiya, the name's scout.
Better be blowing.
I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but I think you're probably talking about something I didn't really wanna know about. So no... I'm not blowing anything.
ppppppppfeiufiofuiorjfadkfbnjkdflaosigjbkghuiafjkldjnbaghkd
The Fourth-Placers' Revenge
You worry too much. The lake's calm, there aren't any dangerous animals in it, my boat's designed to be hard to sink, I've got a life jacket, and I know how to swim pretty well. I'm pretty sure I can survive a boating trip under those circumstances.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.
Is that supposed to be reassuring? It's exactly the type of thing that I'm worried about. Have you given thought to what happens if they exit your boat?
Look, I realize I'm not great at cooking, but saying I should feed it to my boat is excessive. Plus, the contact cement goes GREAT with spider eyes.
The Fourth-Placers' Revenge
Well, Mr. Fox, it's rather hard to conceive of how you would mistake yourself for a rat in the first place. I mean, rats and foxes are both cunning, adaptable mammals associated with deceit, but that's about where the similarities end.
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.
Hey there! Having fun?
Hold on, I can't help it if I'm top-tier. Maybe you should study some more strategies before entering the tournament next time, I'm sorry.
Now I have to get back to my team. Excuse me.
edited 31st Jul '14 9:11:22 AM by BaffleBlend
"It's liberating, realizing you never need to be competent." — Ultimatepheer
First of all, I'm too far away to grab anyone in Rome's government, and secondly, I don't touch politicians even with my ten-foot pole of not touching stuff. Find someone else to hold your goddamn execs.
Breath of the Sun
I sincerely hope you're on a cooking show and adding peanuts to some dish.
What is so amusing about this? Why do you take lives? How can you forget?
hiya, the name's scout.
"I hope you're a peanut"
No, sir/ma'am, I am not a peanut. So it looks like that person was actually grabbing people's nuts.
ppppppppfeiufiofuiorjfadkfbnjkdflaosigjbkghuiafjkldjnbaghkd
Hey there! Having fun?
edited 2nd Aug '14 3:33:49 PM by BaffleBlend
"It's liberating, realizing you never need to be competent." — Ultimatepheer
Jolly Saint Nick
Hen? must be some wich.
Are you honestly accusing this poor farm animal of witchcraft, when you can't even spell the word "witch" right?
Happy Holidays to everyone! Have a great end of the year, and an even better 2015- you all deserve it!
Well, obviously that flying sequence couldn't be real, so... yeah. It's a common trick in movies. Now stop asking about my acting career and take some english classes.
The Fourth-Placers' Revenge
How darest thou speak so lowly of Her Royal Highness? Hast thou a desire to be sent to the guillotine? Our Queen is a proper noblewoman, and no good Englishwoman sayeth that her origins are anything less than regal. Silence thy tongue, or thou shalt find thyself facing the headsman ere the next dawn!
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.
Jolly Saint Nick
How are Her Royals? Has no good English? Silence, headsman!
Her Royals are doing just fine. They still can't speak English, but you also seem to have bad grammar. And yes, please, quiet that annoying headsman! He's giving me a headache, and I'm already tired from dealing with these new foreign princesses.
Happy Holidays to everyone! Have a great end of the year, and an even better 2015- you all deserve it!
i am a crapshoot
Hoals still can't hammar a hat!
... I'm sure he just doesn't wanna be mean to hats is all. 
edited 2nd Aug '14 8:39:05 PM by ctang15
Reality and the existence thereof hinges upon the future of mankind and bacteriakind
Um... that sounds like an... interesting country. Nothing personal, but I'm keeping my distance unless it's a choice between Murdesia and that place resembling Disease.
Hey there! Having fun?
[Off-Topic:] ...okay, I kinda scared myself there.
edited 2nd Aug '14 10:12:10 PM by BaffleBlend
"It's liberating, realizing you never need to be competent." — Ultimatepheer
χ-blade Wielder
Yes, my gonorrea existence. - OK. I did NOT need to know that.
edited 7th Sep '14 3:17:13 PM by Ventus-Vanitas
"The Keyblade War will begin!"
...Is that advice about passiveness, a double negative advising me to joke, or what, koan master?
Fly Air Madeline
I don't understand. Are you referring to the Thematic Apperception Test? What does the TAT even have to do with jokes?
"I'll show you all of Paris, I'll take you on a tour, we'll go up and up and up so high they'll long for an encore!"
With all due respect, officer, I hardly think we need such dishonest people serving as law enforcement. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to call the station and let the chief know that you're so untrustworthy.
edited 22nd Jul '14 11:10:49 AM by NineTailedCat
I like cute things. You gotta deal with it.