I need help determining my main villain.

Note: the following characters are just on the concept state at the moment, and I haven't got time to sufficiently flesh them out yet. Any critique/suggestion will be met with extreme gratitude.

• First, let's talk about the main protagonist: Isaak "The Necromancer".

Full name and title: Baron Isaak Gottfried von Skalpellstrom. A Tinker working as the local doctor. So adept he is in treating the ill and the injured that he gained the nickname "Necromancer", which he loathes because of its dark connotation.

The von Skalpellstrom bloodline is notorious for being the cradle of the most ravening scientifically-minded psychopaths in the history of Lobotomia. But no one is as savage as Heinrich "The Mutilator", Isaak's grandfather. Heinrich, who served under Prince Rudolph IV of Lobotomia during the Metric War, is a Josef Mengele-like figure obsessed with creating "the perfect human; and he's willing to commit acts of atrocity that would make the nastiest serial killer nauseous in order to achieve it.

Isaak's devotion to use his medical skill for helping people mostly comes from a strong sense of guilt. A altruistic and dutiful young man, he strives to make up for all the terrible things his ancestors (especially his grandfather) did to their subjects. Unfortunately, he's also socially awkward and possess a morbid sense of humor, so the folks of Skalpellstrom still feel uneasy around the young Baron. Due to being continually terrorised for generations, they have learnt a valuable lesson: never trust a Tinker, and this one is no different.

Isaak is, by nature, a terribly distrustful and secretive person. He believes that everyone has the capacity for great evil, if only they were given opportunity and knowledge. Isaak himself has to exert control over his own darker nature everyday. The von Skalpellstrom blood is still inside him, and he knows that he is perfectly capable of becoming a horrible monster. Whenever Isaak take a look at his patients, he has to refrain himself from the impulse to "properly fix" them. Isaak thinks that knowledge and intelligent are a detriment, as they tend to go over your head and make you fancy you're better than anyone else; and then you will start "chopping people up in order to reassemble them the way you think is just".

• So there are two characters who would be the potential antagonist to Isaak, but I'm being torn between them. Each of them represent different a facet of Isaak's personality.
  • Heinrich "The Mutilator": It turns out that Isaak's grandfather is still around. After being executed for being a war criminal, he came back as a zombie (because why the hell not?) thanks to the Elixir of Life. Heinrich is what Isaak would have been had he never grown up: a Psychopathic Manchild who enjoy torturing weaker creatures just "out of curiosity". He's a textbook sociopath: superficially charming and cultured yet a savage monster underneath. Heinrich also serves as a parallel for Elisa von Uberwatt (the secondary protagonist, Isaak's friend and potential love interest), a childishly mischievous but unmalicious engineer. Furthermore, his presence will help clear the complication regarding Isaak's parents. Isaak was brought up by his mother, and no one knows who his father is. There has been speculation on the old Baroness's mysterious husband being a homunculus, but that's a load of bollocks since everyone knows homunculi are not capable of breed. Or are they?

  • Michael "Doctor Amoeba" Kroppler: Dr.Kroppler represent what Isaak would become if he takes his dedication too far. Kroppler was once a brilliant micro-biologist who set out to eradicate diseases and better the world. Then one day, he snapped. Nothing spectacular, no side of apparent insanity. He was still the same person, but something inside his mind had broken. He began to enjoy conducting unethical experiments, and justified it as " necessary for the good of mankind". After a mysterious plague broke out in Lichvohen, Kroppler was exposed for his illegal researches and held in captivity. Thinking those idiot was trying to keep him away from his lifelong work, Kroppler murdered his supervisors and ran away into hiding. The once respected scientist became a dangerous fugitive. Kroppler swears he will keep working on his research, and since he's now a criminal anyway, there is no moral restriction to be had. Due to the fact that utilising microbes for crime is Kroppler's M.O and that he has shapeshifting power, the public dubbed him "Doctor Amoeba".

What do you think?

edited 26th Apr '12 9:14:35 PM by Nightwire

Bump.

Calm down; most posters here were asleep when you asked.

Anyways... *reads*

Is there any reason why you can't simply have both of them be antagonists? Having more than one major antagonist is a perfectly legit, somewhat common practice, after all.

edited 27th Apr '12 8:10:41 AM by CrystalGlacia

Just want to make sure, 'cause my thread title is rather generic.

Yeah, I do intend to have both of them as antagonists, but one shall be the main villain, and I'm having difficulty deciding which.

And one more thing: Doctor Amoeba is originally a villain for another of my projects (a steampunk-superhero thing), but I've recently contemplating the possibility of transplanting him here, as he seems like a good fit.

edited 27th Apr '12 8:39:05 AM by Nightwire

Crystal Glacia brings up a good point — maybe both of them could be antagonists. If not working together, then at least causing no shortage of problems for poor Isaak.

But if I had to choose one, then I'd put a vote in for Heinrich. Maybe it's because I'm a sucker for foils, but I see a lot of potential in a "rival" with a personal or familial bond to Isaak. And as a member of the bloodline, no doubt he can dish out plenty of nasty secrets — maybe even try to get the family name back on the right (i.e. murderous) track, as you suggested.

Also, "The Mutilator" sounds a tad more threatening than "Doctor Amoeba," so there's that. But that's just my take on it.

Heh, Doctor Amoeba is just a silly nickname, and Kroppler hates it anyway. Much like how "the Necromancer" is irritating to Isaak.

The main reason I am wary of making Heinrich the main villain is the amount of backstory I would have to deal with. I guess I'm kind of a lazy bum. :P

But otherwise, I see a great potential in fleshing out the von Skalpellstrom's history. It will certainly be fun.

Perhaps each of them should represent a different level of personalness to Isaak. Heinrich is one of his kin, the family that he wants to be no part of; while Kroppler is his friend and colleague.

edited 27th Apr '12 10:38:03 AM by Nightwire

I wouldn't put too much stock in the amount of bacstory you'll have to add. If you're anything like me, the bulk of your writing time will be spent editing and adding in details (pretty much until you've got nothing but a vortex of re-reading and re-assessing and revising). So...yeah, I'm sure you're already aware of it, but be prepared to put in some hours.

Of course, you probably wouldn't be doing it if you were TOO lazy, right?

Damn right. I'm more of a world-builder than a story-teller, as such I feel the need to expand on every tiny detail of the larger university before getting dirty.

Damn, after reading this, all I can think is 'typical klagen progenitor' :D

I'd probably go with Kroppler being the initial antagonist, but with Heinrich as The Man Behind the Man or an otherwise more dangerous adversary who observes but only comes to the fore after Kroppler's been dealt with.

My main reasons for this are 1) Kroppler seems more suited to blind, wide-scale mayhem, while Heinrich seems more suited to manipulation and grand schemes that are subtle but potentially more devastating, 2) Heinrich carries secrets about Isaak's past and 'true identity', the struggle over which is likely to define the entire story, 3) Kroppler is obsessed but still essentially a shell of evil built over a good or neutral core and therefore not 'true' evil, while Heinrich represents the insidious, primal evil that cannot be reasoned with or placated. Kroppler is what Isaak fears he may become, but Heinrich is what he fears he already is, which is much scarier.

It may also just be my fondness for heel-face turns but I think Kroppler could make good material for a Defeat Means Friendship or at least conversion to The Rival or a Friendly Enemy, his personal experience with his darker side coming back to give Isaak some crucial insight later on that helps him resist Heinrich's influence.

edited 28th Apr '12 5:46:20 PM by Kesteven

You totally read my mind, sir!

Before Kroppler's transplantation on this story (he's originally from another project of mine), I set up Heinrich as the main villain, with the secondary one (who turns out to have been using Heinrich as his pawn all along) being a character with personal bond to Elisa (the secondary protagonist). However, I too feel that Heinrich being the mastermind has more potential.

I intend to give Kroppler the Redemption Equals Death treatment. It seems logical with his character.

edited 28th Apr '12 9:14:58 PM by Nightwire

Here's the idea: Kroppler, on the verge of finishing what considered to be his most astounding project, encountered a seemingly insoluble problem, which put his ongoing progress to a dead end. So when a mysterious benefactor offered him a feasible (but highly unethical) resolution, Kroppler gladly took it, not knowing he has started digging a grave for his own sanity.

Heinrich's first test proved to be fruitful: Kroppler has been completely corrupted. Now he opted to do the same to Isaak.

At the mean time, Isaak, while rummaging through his grandfather's old research notes, came to grudgingly admit that Heinrich, a homicidal nutjob as he was, did manage to produce some legitimately brilliant and useful ideas. Pity he used them for perverted purposes. Perhaps with enough modification, he should be able make Heinrich's work something beneficial to the masses. Isaak was disgusted at himself for even considering that thought, but it was too good an opportunity to pass...

edited 29th Apr '12 3:59:18 AM by Nightwire