Make up a crazy rumor about the next gen consoles

PS 4 games will require you to buy the game again every time you die. Fans of I Wanna Be The Guy take it as a challenge.

PS 4, NextBox (c wut I did thar?), and the Wii U, their fanbases will come together to realize that the true power of games is in their ability to bring people together, not separate them, over competition and cooperation, and console wars are pointless exercises in nerd rage, and will finally decide to play and enjoy games that are fun, not the best looking or best sounding or the most violent.

please? :C

... I thought you were serious for a moment there.

While that happens, I'll be outside, placing AA defenses against the hordes of flying pigs.

Microsoft will force developers to make 1000$ worth of DLC for every game. Said DLC can't be cosmetic content.

The vitriol of the Console Wars will culminate in a terrible explosion, which plunges the world into a Nuclear Winter while Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo fanboys moving in Mad Max-like tribes and be at each other's necks all the time, despite never even using their enemies's consoles before. Meanwhile, PC fanboys look on with thinly veiled pride, and Steam kills Origin for good.

Considering that's already mostly the case(besides the explosion and nuclear winter), I wouldn't be surprised.

edited 2nd Apr '12 7:17:35 PM by MrW

• The Next-Box will be using State-Of-The-Art Laserdisc Technology and come with a 128 Meg Harddrive.

• The next X-box will auto-mute any teenagers the second they swear
• The next playstation will have enough computational power to launch a space ship
• The Wii-u will have a lot less "kid" game

I wish...

^^ On that note, the new Wii U format is actually the world's largest floppy disk, developed and printed in a top secret underground bunker eight times bigger than the LHC. The Wii U is sized accordingly.

Burn THIS, you pesky pirates.

edited 2nd Apr '12 7:31:48 PM by Litis

In other(less plausible) news, fanboys will realize that this console wars shit is nothing more than schoolyard bickering and get on with their lives.

As you can see, most sane people think The Console Wars is stupid. >_>

Next time a High Fantasy game gets released, it will completely disregard Tolkien-esque conventions and create its own world, without the bounds of the "Standard Fantasy Setting".

IF ONLY.

edited 2nd Apr '12 7:28:37 PM by ThatOneGuyNamedX

Half-Life 2: Episode 3 is released as a launch Durango exclusive. However, the game is panned for having its plot written by John Ringo, introducing John Freeman (Gordon Freeman's brother who owns another more faster motorcycle that had gas in it this time) into canon and now featuring Gordon Freeman fully talkative and voiced by Vin Diesel. Its failure bankrupts Valve (which had wasted most of the game's budget on expansive middleware and funding Gabe Newell's pet reality show), which sell Steam's assets to EA. Steam then has its servers shut down after six months of ownership, without any solution being provided to play the games offline.

Meanwhile, Haze 2: Welcome to the Jungle is announced as an Orbis exclusive. Initially overjoyed by the prospect of having a sequel to everyone's favourite bargain bin fodder, Playstation fans are heartbroken to see that the game has been overhauled into an interpretative dance simulator whose tracklist consists almost entirely of Christian rock compositions.

The failures of Half-Life 3 kills the FPS genre stone-dead, with Microsoft frantically rebooting Halo 4 as a free to play galactic-economy simulator featuring expansive micro-transactions. Meanwhile, in the middle of this mess, Bethesda discovers that it still somehow owns the Rogue Warrior license and decides to create a sequel to the cult 2009 stealth shooter. The game is a smash hit, with critics praising its VISCERAL and INTENSE gameplay, and its tasteful portrayal of tourette syndrome sufferers. Its success single-handedly propels the Korean War as a viable setting, with various third-person shooters, RTS and railway simulators getting on the hot Korean War action. However, North Korea, offended by the game's portrayal of its military and desperate for attention, kidnap voice actor Mickey Rourke (who they mistakenly believe is the emperor of America) and launch a nuclear warhead toward New York. Fortunately, a crack team of Navy Seals manage to save Mickey intact and successfully redirect the warhead toward Dallas and woah where am I going with this

edited 2nd Apr '12 7:37:13 PM by Glowsquid

+1 Internets get. *fanfare*

edited 2nd Apr '12 7:33:26 PM by ThatOneGuyNamedX

Nintendo's Wii U will come with Sonic 4 Episode 2 and Angry Birds pre-installed. The system can use cloud saving, and support 8 controllers at once. The machine runs Facebook, Itunes, You Tube, Netflix, and Twitter, installed to start with. Myspace is avalible as an app. The machine will have an upgradeable graphics card and hard drive like a PC. The machine will be Playstation Certified, able to run PS 1 games. The Wii-U will be able to project smells, tempurature, water, and wind in addition to 3D graphics. The FPS genre will die off like platformers did. Nintendo will be working on development of cybernetic-based gaming, and buy out SEGA.

edited 2nd Apr '12 7:46:16 PM by miru

miru, given what you usually post, I only have this to say.

Bravo, good sir. Bravo.

Sony, Nintendo and Microsoft joins forces to create the next generation of consoles: A handheld, 64 terabyte space, 1 terabyte memory, with dual sim/line phone capabilities, surfs the net, has two screens(one of it touch screen) and is 3D(even the touchscreen).

It's PSP Vita + Wii U + 3DS + X Box + PS 3 + I Phone.

Sony will replace the PlayStation 3 with the Sony PlayRoom, which creates a fully immersive 3D experience without glasses or a TV. Intended for highly narrative interactive games like Mass Effect Universe, Sony marketing will push developers to make every game PlayRoom ready, resulting in tons of Shovelware games like playing a Match Three Bejeweled ripoff by physically manipulating simulated gems on a simulated coffee table. It's still the top seller.

edited 2nd Apr '12 8:06:19 PM by TParadox

Harmonix, iNiS, and Konami team up to create a next-gen rhythm game.

...well, I'd keep an eye on it >_>

The next successful console will have the following features:

• mandatory plastic overlays
• wood paneling on the first model, and a rainbow stripe on a later model, just like Atari2600
• its size will be xbox hueg, like Atari5200
• a pause button on the hardware
• the hardware will be a frustratingly difficult combination of parts
• only one controller port
• mandatory 'hold reset while pressing power' function to retain save data
• all games sold on audio cassettes

Why will it succeed? Because its competition will consist of a new Gizmondo, and the sketchy "plug into TV" game devices which only show up at mall kiosks.

edited 3rd Apr '12 3:41:28 AM by dorkatlarge

PS 4 will be 2 PS 2 ductaped

or PS 3+PS 1

or 4xPS1

or PS 2+2xPS1

There will be no problems with the new XBOX console other than it will be powered by the bound souls of horribly murdered children, like the ones which keep Bill Gates eternally youthful.

I like Bill Gates, so don't take this the wrong way. Anyway, childrens souls area tremendously inefficient powersource. The ectoplasm gums up the works.

edited 3rd Apr '12 4:39:12 AM by GameChainsaw

In other news, Fanboys have stopped using information from "anonymous sources" took make a competitor's future console look worse.

Oh, wait. >_>

Nintendo figures out a way to weaponize nintendium. The resulting war will devastate all first world countries as Sony and Microsoft desperately figure out ways to counteract. Eventually EA and Activision come up with a solution to turning used games into lethal disc based weapons.

Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo will get together and develop a console that connects to the user by electrodes and projects the videogame world inside their mind. The option to have several people at once in the same virtual environment, with another person acting as a "moderator" or "game master" brings tabletop RP Gs into the mainstream. Millions die of brain strokes.

Off-topic, but one of JAF's OP links led to this, which I still cannot stop laughing about.

Some random 3rd party developer from out of nowhere releases its own console that blows Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo out of the water. The three once major companies, unable to compete, bend over and suck the Developer Company's dick make third party games for the console.