The worst RP on TV Tropes: The Movie: The Game: The RP

" Well... Yea. You're like a magnet, attracting tons of things, both man and women, to you."

"Hey Baby... I can call you baby, right?" Kael'thas said, ignoring his elvish maids. "Wanna have a good time with a prince, baby?" He smiled, causing his beautiful face to look even more beautiful.

"Quite the illustrious group we've got here! The most talented, the most attractive, the most mysterious!" A white umbrella held between the group and the speaker closed to reveal a well apportioned woman sitting on a throne of wood, legs crossed and smile glinting dangerously. She continued on, chilled sarcasm dripping from every word. "Yes, we can all go gaga over one another or grow to hate one another, with absolutely zero chance for any ordinary manner of relationship among our present company. I'm perfectly fine with that." She eyed over Mary Sue, appraising her beauty. "But then, hate is it's own delicious form of love..." The woman licked her lips slightly. She stood up and strolled over, so as to be a member of the cohesive whole.

"Oh, but enough of that." In one arm she suddenly scooped up one of the elven maid of Kael'Thas, holding her with not little force. "Seriously, why are we are here?"

Enisgn Sue looks upon the newcomer, a glint in my eye, "Oh, you remind me of someone I know! Except, she's me!" Her brilliant green blue eyes sparkled as she spoke, leaning forward, her lustrous melons bouncing like water balloons in a rainstorm being struck by purple lightning called down from the heavens like a mother calling a child!

"Smash my illusions? What if I were to say they weren't illusions at all?" Aizen drawled, Kyoka Suigetsu raised slightly from its sheath. But before he could throw the robot thing into a masterful illusion, a green-haired woman made her presence known. Aizen watched her with an impassive expression. She exuded a power Aizen had to respect... even if it was still far below his own. Interesting.

Aizen stepped forward. "I do not why you are all here, in my domain. But I may permit you to stay, should you prove useful."

...Heh. As if there was anyone who could carry out a task better than he. But still, he might as well toy with his new pawns.

Yuuka pushed Mary Sue back slightly with her closed umbrella, but not without a lingering glance at her breasts which were as a mother calling a child, whatever that was supposed to mean. "I'm hoping the resemblance between us is solely skin deep."

"And permit us to stay? Please. I came here of my own volition. I'm only unsure as to the why..." Yuuka mulled it over, tracing something in the air with an idle finger as she spoke. "Perhaps you can give me a hint?"

The Shrike was contemplating whether he should inform the gathered humans that they were all terrible. At least it thought they were terrible. It was also unswayed by Mary Sue's beauty, being an emotionless machine and whatnot, and sincerely wanted to rip her to pieces, though it doubted such a thing would be considered acceptable to humans. If they WERE human, considering the strange powers they possessed. Perhaps it should ask.

"Are you all even human?" It asked in a loud, mechanical monotone.

"... JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!? I AM THE COMBINED WILL OF MEN AND WOMEN EVERYWHERE! I AM THE DRILL THAT CREATES THE HEAVENS! I AM SUPER TENGEN TOPPA GURREN LAGANN!" STTGL screamed out when The Shrike asked if he was a man.

edited 5th Mar '12 5:04:27 PM by Psyga315

"Your voice is annoying, and you don't appear remotely human, so my question was not addressed to you. I recommend not annoying me. I try not to be petty, but I may make exceptions." Said the Shrike, irritated.

edited 5th Mar '12 5:41:13 PM by kagescorpionakki

"I am Kael'thas, prince of the Sin'dorei! Isn't it obvious?!" Kael cried.

"Well is this not this a very nice gathering?! Now why don't someone tell me where the Hell I am?! I was going on a very enthusiastic walk and now I'm going to miss Adventure Time! On my brand new 70" Plasma TV!" A man clad in a pimp'n red coat and an equally pimpin' red hat approached while chewing on a detached arm "And who dares to claim he's better then me?! I'm The Motherfuckering Vampire and I killed a fucking lot of people to gain that title!"

A cursory glance around and Yuuka had to shrug. "Enough of us are human, or humanoid at least." That cryptic statement aside, Yuuka opened her parasol to it's full expanse and held it over herself, shading herself from whatever light source illuminated the room. "A fair number of us seem to be very willing to kill one another, myself amongst that number. Why don't we have at it already?"

"A hint For the reason you came?" Aizen drawled as he smirked at Yuuka. "Perhaps to grovel at my feet, much like the rest of them." Aizen drew his blade, the sword glinting as it moved from its sheathe. "Grovel before you fall to Kyoka Suigetsu."
The brown-haired man swept his gaze to all before him. Hmph. No matter how strong they were, in the end, he was superior. None could dispel the illusions of Kyoka Suigetsu...

"A fight would end in the death of all present but myself. Not a good suggestion, if I must say." The Shrike said, its head tilting slightly to observe those gathered with ruby eyes. As in, actual rubies, or some gem of similar color.

"Y'know," said Jecht, leaning against a steel keg of the finest ale in all of Zanarkand, "Somehow I don't think you guys believe that I'm the best." He lifted the keg to his mouth, bit right through its steel casing and shotgunned it in its entirity without stopping to draw breath. "Guess I'd better prove it."

With the sound of screeching guitars and gutteral vocals, Jecht suddenly grew immensely, far dwarfing the Super Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann even at its regular size. Clasping his hands together, he smashed the entire universe into a single ball before molding it with his bare hands into the form of a beautiful woman.

And then Jecht quite literally fucked the universe.

The moment his divine seed collided with the universe's womb, there was a collosal burst of energy, far surpassing anything that could possibly have been discharged before the time of this heavenly copulation, and in a great flash of light a new, baby universe was born.

In time, this new universe seemed to develop exactly the same as our own one, but with one major difference... Those who could read the old script of Spira would notice that, written in gigantic, thirty light year high letters across the sky, was one simple message to all creation:

edited 7th Mar '12 4:31:26 PM by Moerin

STTGL was so blown away with Jecht fucking the universe that he shrunk to the intimidatingly small Lagann.

" Well, this was embarrassing..." Lagann said.

edited 7th Mar '12 4:52:59 PM by Psyga315

Yuuka just rolled her eyes.

"That was so unnecessary..."

The moment this would have happened, however, the Shrike saw fit to prevent it. It had grabbed Jecht from the future, and now hopped through time to bring him to the past universe, before his 'fucking the universe' stunt. Everyone currently looked frozen to the Shrike, which had just stopped time. It tore the old Jecht into his component atoms, replacing him with the new one, who had already proven he was the best, thus retroactively erasing the event from history and thus from the minds of everyone except Jecht.

The Shrike from the past nodded proudly at its future self's handwork before future Shrike disappeared.

As the result of Jecht literally imgregnating the universe with his unbelievable potency, a small pair of shaded glasses popped out of the new explosion of energy. As intergalactic debris formed together to create a more cohesive form, many particles were inevitably attracted towards the shades. Now, these were no normal shades. These were the Ganeme shades. Only those who were considered true Hajikelists were able to utilize them.

And lo and behold, Bobobo, bastard son of Jecht was born into this universe. Why? Because he imploded his old one through sheer confusion. As the man with the golden afro was once more in his default form, the muscular Nosehair practicioner struck a strange pose. It seemed that having intercourse with the universe sometimes made for unwanted surprises. "Father!"

As a perk of being the best, Jecht was however completely immune to retcons and time fuckery. Universe fuckery, on the other hand...

"Well, at least you're less of a disappointment than my other son," Jecht said, embracing Bobobo. "I might not even have to beat and belittle you! Yes, with my training you will be the... Second best! Because I, of course, am the best and no-one can top that. But you will come close!"

The fabric of space-time literally ceased. What the hell happened? Jecht happened. Out from the void that was the universe's womb, a blonde haired man burst forth with amazing shades. Well, there however was another. A long, pink haired girl with golden eyes, a white dress, and a look of concern.◊ "U-um..." she pulled up both of her hands, examining them. Wait, she was tangible?

"U-uh..." she stood up, brushing herself off. "D-dad?" the words rolled off her tongue as she looked to the bronzed God before her.

Upon seeing the goddess, he immediately transforms into Gurren Lagann, despite earlier claiming to be in love with Mary Sue. Yes, Gurren just came out of nowhere and they Gattai'd.

And then, ninjas.

But they weren't just any ninjas. They were Ninja Pirates!

With a single right hook, Jecht punched Gurren Lagann to the other end of the cosmos. "Nobody looks at my daughter like that!" He then placed a hand upon Madokami's shoulder and asked her, as gently as his gruff voice could emphasise, "You okay, sweety? No way am I letting anybody spoil daddy's little girl."

He then proceeded to high-five all of the ninja pirates. "Now it's a party! Any of you guys up for a game of blitzball? I warn you guys right now, I'm not just good at it, I'm the best."

edited 8th Mar '12 7:30:12 AM by Moerin