The Constructive Criticism Thread:
- This thread is for helping people improve as writers. Please stay away from needlessly gushing or needlessly being mean when handing out criticism.
- No mentioning your own work when giving out criticism. This is to prevent "Let's talk about ME" derails.
- Feedback will be given to one person at a time. We're taking a deliberately slow pace; a person's turn to get feedback is generally supposed to last a week, but we're not ending someone's turn until they get feedback from at least five different people. On the other hand, the person getting feedback can end their own turn if they figure they're done.
- When a turn ends, we wait 12 hours to see if anyone of the people who have just given feedback wants to be up next. If they don't, we pick the person up next from the feedback request list.
- Yes, it's okay to point out spelling and grammar errors made by the person you're giving feedback to.
- If you're unfamiliar with the original verse of a piece of Fan Fiction up for feedback, pretend it's a piece of original fiction and criticize accordingly.
- If and when you step up to receive feedback:
- Post actual writing (not world-building, concepts, layouts, character lists and so on).
- Be specific in what you are looking for, or at least mention what is troubling you the most.
- Fan Fiction is fine, but take into account that anyone not familiar with the source material will judge your piece "blind", essentially by the same standards as original fiction. This means you might get called out on flaws that fan fiction usually gets away with in practice, perhaps even justifiably so. Just like any other kind of criticism, consider it or ignore at at your discretion.
- Be ready to hear some things you probably didn't want to hear. This should go without saying, but, please: No being bitter, being sarcastic, calling people out for "going too far" or otherwise expressing disapproval of the criticism given to you. If you think people are being unfair to your writing, make your case civilly.
edited 17th Feb '12 5:07:01 PM by TripleElation
- It could be snappier, as Night suggested.
- We know nothing about Asayu except her appearance. Even in an opening scene, we need a motivation beyond "beat the bad guys" and we need to learn something about her that will make us care whether she, specifically, wins or loses. The prayer for the dead doesn't do it for me, either; it just makes her feel sanctimonious.
- The cabal isn't very believable. We're supposed to hate them because they're torturing animals, but that doesn't make them seem villainous, it makes them seem unrealistic. We're not given any reason why they're doing what they're doing, nor do they seem to be accomplishing anything.
- This piece just doesn't feel that distinctive. Why should a prospective reader pick up this story out of the hundreds of urban fantasies out there?
edited 1st Apr '12 7:54:23 PM by KillerClowns
edited 1st Apr '12 8:01:49 PM by jewelleddragon
edited 2nd Apr '12 3:31:24 AM by Euodiachloris
edited 5th Apr '12 1:22:22 PM by KillerClowns