WTF news headlines.

I suddenly want to move to Camden. Their police clearly do not have enough work to do and, unlike the U.S., they aren't making up the difference by beating up minorities.

groan

Oklahoma court: oral sex is not rape if victim is unconscious from drinking.

At the least, it seems more a case of OK laws being severely in need of an update. If it were a different, less serious, crime I'd agree with their reasoning.

edited 28th Apr '16 4:24:06 PM by Eagal

Man in hedgehog costume holds Baltimore news station hostage.

Sad and funny at the same time.

Make your fingers perpetually smell like fried chicken with KFC nail polish

what

The biggest scientific instrument in the world was brought down by a tiny weasel

Woman Sues Starbucks for $5 Million for Putting Too Much Ice in Iced Coffee.

Mexican Congresswoman wants to ban internet memes.

Id vote for her.

THE MEMES THE MEMES THE MEME——

—-LA LI LE LU LO—-

ISIS math education starts with banning the plus sign.

How does that even work?

That makes the professor being suspected of terrorism by a paranoid passenger because of his whacky math equations even more hilarious.

I knew before I even read the article that it had to be because of Christian symbolism. (And it may well have started as such; the origin of the plus sign is Middle Ages Europe, with the Norman philosopher Nicolas Oresme having written the oldest known account that used it.)

The earliest explanation I can recall justified that the unadorned horizontal line was an intuitive symbol for "less", and naturally the same symbol with an added vertical bar signified "more".

Man arrested after teaching pug to do a Nazi salute when it heard the words, ‘Sieg Heil’

Times Square "free hugs" guy punched woman when she wouldn't give tip.

Talk about false advertising. I mean, dude, your sign said free hugs, not free punches.

Babysitter allegedly took kids to bank robbery

City Museum takes to social media after break-in to criticize thief's wardrobe.

Well, are they 65?

"the thief dressed in what can only be described as a garish ensemble best described as being the work clothes of a flamboyant Batman villain, possessing no style nor greater wit."

"now you see kids, sitter is going to have to kneecap the teller for that move."

edited 18th May '16 3:22:43 PM by NickTheSwing

• "Police Help Dog Bite Victim" (either they assist the dog in biting the poor sap, or they patch the guy after he was bit by an evil dog)
• "Iraqi Head Seeks Arms" (either the disembodied head wants a sweet pair of arms, or the head honcho of the operation wants to find weapons)
• "Hershey Bars Protest" (either the sentient chocolate bars are demanding to not be eaten, or [most likely] the chocolate-making company won't let people protest)
• "Man Arrested After Shooting Bee" (either he shot a bug and was arrested, or that was a typo)
• "Factory Orders Dip" (either they wanted some French Onion Dip for their chips, or they ordered less and less over time)
• "Pacific Rim Jobs on the Horizon" (either they wanted jobs for the movie, or they wanted jobs for the real thing)
• "Dead Woman Told to Mow Her Lawn" (either zombies are a thing Down Under, or it's some obscure Aussie slang I've never heard of)
• "Killer Lions Go Home" (either they retreated back to the plains where they belong, or that's some bizarre South African gang I've never heard of)
• "I Kicked Burning Terrorist In Balls" (either this, or I don't know)

The last one happened in Glasgow, and yes, he did kick a burning terrorist in the bollocks.

The dead person told to mow her lawn is probably the council sending her a letter after she died. GP's suffer a similar problem - Ghost Patients who are on the books but are actually dead or moved out of the area.

Pacific Rim Jobs was a great gay porno! (not really, just doing Take a Third Option.

ATexas police threaten 13 yr old girl with felony charges because they failed to realize that an antique $2 bill she used to pay for her lunch was indeed a real form of currency.

See it's stories like that that make me afraid to use $2 bills whenever I come across them.