Been reading christian movie reviews.

There is this website called "Christian Spotlight on Entertainment" showing reviews of movies from a (admittedly Protestant} point of view. Some of the reviews make sense, others only make sense if you are to view a Protestant Christian view of morality, and others are just plain ridiculous. For example, despite having overwhelmingly positive reviews, one of the negative and neutral reviews of "Tangled" criticized the fact that Rapunzel healing Flynn was an immoral thing to teach children since it made it look like she had the powers of god (even though she only inherited them from a magic flower that was itself possessed by a sun tear from the sky). Even though one of the positive reviewers tried to remind her that there were figures beside Jesus Christ who were blessed with powers by god to help the sick, another neutral reviewer claimed that since they did not mention god in the movie, it meant it didn't come from him. Another example was in the review of the pixar movie "Up". Although most reviews understandably felt the movie was not appropriate due to its mature subject material and somewhat depressing atmosphere, apparently one reviewer thought that putting your life on the line to save an animal (Kevin) over the life of Muntz, a human, was unacceptable since god put man above animals (despite the fact Muntz was clearly insane, intended to kill the main characters, and the fact the bird helped them escape Muntz numerous times). Finally, my last beef goes to the reviewers of Bicentennial man. Predictably, the informal relationship between Robin William's robotic character and a (married) woman, the euthanasia of a suicidal character, and the indecent language made most reviewers wary of what they perceive to be anti-theistic themes, the fact that a few of the reviewers felt that the main character being with another woman was unbiblicle since he may commit adultery (despite the fact that as an android he was not allowed to marry) and was himself an abomination since he was created from man and not from god.

• Although these reviews come mostly from the minority, it still made me feel how they are able to live through life without seeing hints of the devil's influence in everything they see. First, just because a movie does not reference god or Jesus Christ doesn't mean it's inappropriate material. Second, it's stupid that any sort of bad language regardless of the movie's rating or context in which it was said should be so lambasted (a very common complaint with the main reviewer who set up the site for any movie that curses or takes the lords name in vain such as "Oh my god"). Finally, the fact that some of these reviewers took completely innocuous things and twisted them into some kind of conspiracy from the godless movie industry to undermine their values is quite simply ridiculous (seriously some of the reviews actually say that).
• I admit the Hollywood industry sometimes spits out movies that I myself would be ashamed to see, but expecting every movie to conform to a certain set of values undermines the rights of others to publish and release what they want.

I'm not always a Fundamentalist, but when I am, even I don't take review sites like that totally seriously.

I've always been baffled by people who go out of their way to make the "Big List Of Things For You To Be Offended By."

Are there really people out there who'll take this stuff seriously?

Well, a lot of people believe they have to protect other individuals from themselves. I imagine that's the motivation these folks have.

Still, the reviews described by the OP aren't really as bad as some that you'll find on the internet.

edited 10th Dec '11 2:34:32 AM by TheGloomer

Those always crack me up. They're so mind numbingly moronic and bigoted that I seriously doubt even other protestant christians believe them. You guys outa see their reviews on Finding Nemo.

One word: "Teletubbies"

I remember reading a particularly bizarre Christian movie guide, the only family movie that it seemed to be free of satanic imagery was Mary Poppins despite the titular character very clearly using witchcraft on multiple times.

So yeah.

People who make a point of loudly announcing what religious beliefs they hold (this goes for atheists and anti-theists, too) are usually the ones you might want to avoid listening to or taking seriously about morality...

Interesting heuristic. A few buddhist teachers have quite good points on general morality, though.

I would blame that on the cultural import fitter, you can get some pretty regressive buddhists after all.

@OP: They're only funny if you don't take them seriously. Unfortunately, my family takes them seriously. There's also a site somewhere that does book reviews, and they would also use that.

One time they tore up a library book that I brought home (Ella Enchanted) and threw me a sound whooping, because Dad said that it was going to open the gateway to hell and me bringing it home was considered an invitation to demonic beings to invade our lives.

...did they pay for the library book?

(Yes, I know, totally missing the point.)

Pretty much anything you enjoy that isn't inspired by Jesus is a sin.

In my book, these fundies would be working for the Devil, were he to exist.

edited 12th Dec '11 8:03:41 PM by johnnyfog

Do you drink dos equis when you're a fundamentalist by chance?

@Karkadinn: I don't think it ever got paid, actually.

There was one Christian review where they trashed The Last Mimzy for having Buddhist elements.

I would hate to hear their opinions on Little Buddha and Kundun.

edited 12th Dec '11 10:35:38 PM by Buscemi

How did they get away with not paying for what they destroyed? Sounds like fundies who think they can get away with anything just because of their religious faith. I take it you don't share their faith?

I find it absurd that there really are people who take these review sites seriously. For my female cousin, CAPALERT - a movie review site that bitches about everything (in fact, it's the aforementioned site that complains about every movie except Mary Poppins) - was a source of comedy for her for a while.

barkey: Ah, someone gets the joke. Well met, sir.

You would not believe the flak I got for using the words "crap" and "pissed" and "hell" for one of our Church plays. In addition, "go die in a fire" and "I hope it gives you the runs" was featured. They put me in charge of the script, and it called for a guy to lose his temper. Yeah, pretty mild for most folks, but to the religious right? SCANDALOUS! Some women were visibly shocked. I was all "what? That isn't anything you haven't said or heard before..."

I once found a christian anime review site, and it was actually really good. The reviews gave information I wanted that I couldn't find anywhere else, specifically, just how far the shows went with explicit content, and the stupid stuff was mostly limited to a section of the review that detailed how the morals and themes of the story meshed up with Christianity.

Oh the humanity.

There's a site called Hollywood Jesus, that is the polar opposite of, say, something like CAPALERT. It looks for the positive in movies, to the extent of finding positive messages where most of us wouldn't find much of anything! It's pretty interesting, and I think worth a look.

I have read some Christian movie review sites. A lot of them make pretty good sense (provided you have a Christian background), but, man, are there some ridiculous ones. I feel like I have to apologize for them on behalf of the Christian community. Very few Christians pay attention to them though. We mostly pay attention to the reviews in People Magazine.

Speak for yourself, I read Roger Ebert's reviews.

You guys realise this are parody reviews right?

Poe's law: with the insane crap out there it's often hard to tell what is and isn't parody.