I need to get this off my chest.

Okay, so I'm working at this christian bookstore, and have been doing so for about five years now. Over the time, I've grown pretty close to them.
Now you might be thinking: "Why are you telling me all of this?" Well, here's the thing; I heard some pretty bad news yesterday. Apparently two of their sons have run away from home after a fight, and now I don't know who I should be sympathyzing with.
On one hand, I know for a fact that the owners are pretty hardline christian - as can be expected of one who owns a christian bookstore - and raise their children accordingly (Don't get me wrong, it's not like they hit their children or anything, it's more of a "Don't do that, the Bible say you can't" thing). Combining that with a "Do what I say, no ifs or buts" style of one of the owners, I can sympathyze with the children.
On the other hand, I can't think of anything worse than your own child no longer accepting you as a parent.

So yeah, I feel like I'm torn apart. >_<

Hmm... well, despite there being many parents, not everyone is guaranteed to be a good parent. But I guess I can't talk since I don't know them. Either way, from the way you talk about them, they're at least very worried about their children and have the best intentions at heart, so... help with finding those kids if you can and otherwise be supportive of them since they're currently quite stressed. Hopefully the professionals will be able to find those kids and bring them back home.

...I sorta messed up in the OP. Though aforementioned kids have run away, it's not like their current location is unknown. They're with other family at the moment, but the main problem's still there. If they would be forced to return home right now with no changes to the situation, they'll likely just run away again.

edited 7th Dec '11 10:21:49 AM by neobullseye

Ah, okay. Well, it's honestly up to you, but I'd recommend talking to the parents. This sounds like a matter of them being too hard on the kids. Still, the details are decidedly vague and I can't say much other than that.

As a Christian I feel like the parents deserve some empathy. There's nothing wrong with what they did as parents I think... I want to do the same thing...

I feel so bad that their kids are running away from them. I don't care if they accept God or not... I just feel bad for the parents having to deal with their children hating them and running away.

Well, since you probably don't know all the facts, you're allowed to feel that it's a bad situation all round without picking sides.

Religion tends to be a rather volatile thing. I'd just stay out of it if I were you.

Look people, in this case, it's probably not about the religion in question as the people. There comes a time when parents either need to learn to soften up or harden up, the former in this case. And there's no reason to sit by and watch if you want to help. If they don't want your help, they'll tell you.

Bat Pencil raises a good point. You probably don't have all the facts and attempting to place yourself in what is likely a very volatile situation might be a bad thing to do...But then perhaps I am saying that because I honestly have no idea what to do? On the one hand I can understand being highly upset with very religious parents, but on the other hand I myself want to give my own children a religious upbringing, albeit a rather unorthodox Theravada Buddhist one. So...um? I will stand around and be useless for now!

edited 7th Dec '11 10:47:21 AM by Aondeug

Sympathise with both of them. It sounds like the kids suffered quite a bit, and the parents are to blame, but it's not like the parents were malicious or something. They had good intentions, they just messed up. That's hardly a reason for you to feel sorry for them. Talk to them and offer whatever advice you have.

BUT remember that the above assumes quite a few things about the situation, so take the advice here and see if you can learn some more facts.

edited 7th Dec '11 11:58:48 AM by Dealan

Express your sympathy and concern and beyond that, stay the hell out of it. Listen if they want to talk. Do not offer advice or commentary unless it's directly asked for.

This is your employers, not your family.

Be respectful, be kind, but don't say anything and stay as far away from this as possible.

You will only loose getting into a family's drama.

Are we even sure that they were strict with the kids? Everyone seems to assume that "hardline christian" automatically means that.

I grew up as a Preacher's Kid in a fundamentalist family, and while the ideology was there, my parents themselves were always as normal, likeable, and generally good parents, as it gets.

So I don't even think that it is about the "Don't do that, the Bible say you can't" thing combined with the "Do what I say, no ifs or buts" attitude. Really, it's just not a religious issue.

It's all about the attitude. Without it, the ideology is just a type of culture, as harmless as any other. And with that attitude, anyone could mess up parenthood.

As someone that was abused by my "hardline christian" family, I feel immense amounts of sympathy for the kids.

Congrats on them for getting out of there when they could.

edited 7th Dec '11 5:51:53 PM by DrunkGirlfriend

This. While my parents aren't exactly fundamentalists, my dad is a bishop in an LDS church, and he made me go to his church all through high school. But, I mean, that doesn't make him evil, and I grew up pretty good regardless. Honestly, despite the fact that I'm not LDS, I'm glad he made me do it. I know way more about theology because of it.

Point is, I agree with him. Christian =/= Abusive

The parents being or not being Christian have very little to do with the situation aside from there is a cultural priority the parent's are expressing that is causing discomfort for the kids.

You could take out Christian and put "Sports Coach" or "Algebra Teacher" or any other role and find similar examples of this situation across the country.

The big thing is no one knows the full story. And even if they did, this isn't a matter the OP needs to involve themselves in.

No matter what, their kids ran away. They should have learned to obey LONG ago. Not only that, but they need to learn they can't run away from their problems.

edited 7th Dec '11 7:41:45 PM by Joesolo

Just don't take sides. You don't know all the facts to this situation, and it would be pretty insulting to assume that them being hardline Christians means that they were strict to the point of being abusive.

Pretty much what everyone else has said thus far, Neo. Seeing as the specifics of the situation elude you, in addition to the fact that it is likely a personal matter between the two parties involved that spurred the event, I would simply offer my sympathies and hope for the best for the time being, as taking sides in this matter would be very unwise seeing as you're running on naught but pure assumption.

edited 7th Dec '11 7:58:20 PM by Motree

If they're staying with family they'll probably just talk it out after they cool down. Unless the parents are actually doing something abusive to them, which you didn't imply so you probably don't know anything about. I really wouldn't worry about it too much either way.

Although maybe I'm just a cold person. One of my friends ran away form his mother and stayed at my place for a few days during high school. I never even asked him what happened, but he seems to get along with his mother now.

I'd say the two sides need to make a compromise. Personally, I sympathize with the children more. Living with parents that have rules like that can do pretty nasty things for your psyche, once you start thinking for yourself, no matter what the intentions were.

Going from the info you provided us, I'd say you should also be by the parents' side too, of course, its also very likely they'll need a lecture after this. Of what kind is up to you.

I can't really sympathize with the kids unless the parents were strict to actually abusive levels.