Auties, Aspies, and other CloudCuckooLanders!

[this is long]

Uh, hello again.

I first came on here 3 years ago, waaay back on page 7!

I hope to be more active, although I admit I am not making any sense since I am in the middle of my Fall semester.

I originally introduced myself as part of the mentally ill community and now I may claim membership of the autistic community since my therapist and psychiatrist have told me they think I am that as well.

I'm also pre-diabetic. Dang metabolism changing medicine. -grumblegrumble-

I have not yet gone to a neuropsychologist for hard evidence, but I think this new diagnosis explains behaviors younger me had.

They told me when I was 24 or 25, I don't remember and I am now 27 so these past years have been ones of growth.

I am also part of a disability advocacy group on campus and I want to continue going to Young Catholic Adult nights at my local church.

I'm trying to make friends and I think I am beginning to succeed.

I'm even trying to talk to my crush to see what happens.

I haven't had a crush in ten years, hee hee.

[tl;dr: Was here three years ago, is a mentally ill prediabetic autistic that loves to talk and may need to relearn boundaries and self-disclosure tips! xD]

Welp, now even my mum is starting to retrospectively notice Aspie traits throughout my medical history; stuff that had gone ignored or potentially misattributed in my childhood. Might as well put her current investment to good use and get myself diagnosed.

Aha! So that's why you relate so well to people on the autism spectrum despite supposedly not being on it yourself!

It's also possible you're BAP. (Broader autism phenotype - a term used to describe people who don't count as being autistic but are close. Sometimes autistics have parents who don't qualify for being considered autistic, but who have a few minor traits of it.)

Very well possibubble. Whatever the case, I'm quite certainly "qualifying" as ND.

The unit in my anthropology class where autism is being discussed is called "Kinship, Community, and Disability" and it's the last unit of the class. It's a very quick unit, we're only discussing it for one day in class, after we read part of a book about "enabling disability" and watching a clip from some movie. But this all isn't until the end of the semester in December

Also, hello Gryphaena!

edited 27th Aug '16 9:08:04 AM by Cailleach

"Enabling" disability?

"Enabling" has two meanings. It means either to help a person by "enabling" them to do more in their lives,

or it means to "enable" a person to do nothing and use whatever as an excuse for not improving.

I see the word "enabling" and I get a little suspicious...

I'm just about sure that's it's the first one. This whole class is about leaning about and accepting diversity, I don't think there'd be a complete 180 in the last week of the semester where suddenly there are some people who shouldn't be accepted and are just worthless.

What I am worried about is that it's going to preach about a "savior complex" where non-disabled people help "poor, helpless" disabled people, instead of disabled people as a community that can advocate and enable themselves, and that the non-disabled community just has to be willing to listen to us when we tell them what we need.

But we'll see

edited 27th Aug '16 11:38:14 AM by Cailleach

My prof already knows I'm autistic, so hopefully we'll avoid the awkward situation where a lecturer refers to autistic people, or disabled people in general, as a completely separate group of people from the people they're lecturing to, ignoring the likelihood that there are people in their audience who are in the group they're talking about. I find the assumption that there couldn't possibly be any disabled people in a college class to be pretty darn offensive. It also doesn't give me the opportunity to be a part of the discussion, since no one would look for personal experiences of disability if they don't think there are any disabled people in the class.

I mean I go to a very diverse school in NYC, so I doubt there will be a "them" mentality for any of the groups we study.

Someone created a comic explaining the autism spectrum for those who don't understand it. Explaining how it's not simply a linear range from "not autistic" to "very autistic", and explains how things such as not having very obvious autism symptoms can hide difficulties the person is actually having.

It also explains the whole "damned if you do, damned if you don't" thing where if you're recognized as autistic, people assume you're stupid and incapable, but if you're not recognized as such, people are up your ass about the things you do have trouble with.

Check it out.

edited 29th Aug '16 9:27:17 AM by BonsaiForest

From https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/aug/30/diagnosed-autism-male-condition-women-misdiagnosed

Doesn't say a whole lot new or in too much depth, sadly, but I wanted to quote that.

EDIT: And this, which is an interesting bit of how autism and the way it shapes people can intersect with political beliefs:

edited 30th Aug '16 9:01:40 AM by BonsaiForest

Here you all are, making progress, while my mom tells me my aunt - who is obviously an aspie - lies to me when she says she is.

That's exactly what happened to me. Why I was never diagnosed growing up, even when the condition was known about and there were diagnosed autistic boys in my classes. I can't say I was all that good at "camouflaging" myself as non-autistic, like a lot of other autistic girls do, but I definitely presented differently.

Even as a diagnosed autie I get the "only boys are autistic" stereotype directed at me. The idea of Asperger's being the "extreme male brain". People are okay with me being a girl as long as I act "masculine" (wear "tomboy" clothes, prefer the company of males, etc) I'm just about the girliest person I know. I love fashion and hair ribbons and sparkles. One of my defining traits is being The Fashionista. I get a lot of comments like (direct quote) "You're too pretty to be autistic! The people with autism I know are sort of dorky looking and awkward, not like you, dear!" (For future reference, how the hell am I supposed to respond to that? Anyone have any ideas?)

edited 31st Aug '16 4:42:28 PM by Cailleach

Respond with "yeah, well all the neurotypicals look normal, but I guess you break that stereotype."

Or, "...and exactly what makes you an expert on what autistic people 'look like?'"

I like Maple's response in particular.

This was in response to someone saying something about autistics being assumed to not have imagination. That girls are often taught to play with "imaginative play" toys like dolls and tea sets. And that if autistic girls do, and do so "imaginatively", that's proof they're not autistic.

However, in response to that, one person said she didn't play with dolls, but categorized them instead, and it later became clear she liked research books instead.

Anyway, another person gave the example I quoted above, of an autistic toddler repeating motions robotically and therefore giving the appearance of using imagination, as opposed to actually using imagination. A closer examination shows that the behaviors are simple repetition of a learned routine, not actual imaginative spontaneity.

Speaking of imagination, I made a dream journal about my weird dreams. No imagination my ass! As a kid, I used to daydream all sorts of stuff, including, yes, Mary Sue characters interacting with established fictional characters, and various comedies and melodramas of original characters of my own.

edited 30th Aug '16 11:57:13 AM by BonsaiForest

No imagination, eh. My partnerette would like to have a few words about that.

That "no imagination" stereotype hurts me more than every other stereotype combined. My extremely vivid imagination is the most vital part of who I am. I'm constantly in my own head, making up story after story with imaginary characters. I live constantly in my imagination, including right now. I'm currently imagining a story with a few of the hundreds of character's I've made up. I've gone entire semesters at school without learning any of my classmates' names, because I was so deep within my imagination all the time I never even took notice of the other people in the room. It's my default state of being, I have to concentrate very hard in order to not do it.

I'm actually trembling right now. That's now much that stereotype hurts me. You're taking the most vital part of who I am, the thing about myself that I like the most, and telling other people that I don't have it.

Referring to the "no imagination" stereotype in my presence is the quickest way to get me to punch you in the face.

Like, imagine there's something you're better at than most everyone you know, and being good at this thing is a source of immense pride for you. You may have some self-esteem issues, but this skill is something you can really be proud of. Then have someone who's only mediocre at this skill assume you are incapable of even the basic level of it and then attempt to "explain" it to you. And then try not to punch them in the face.

Basically pity porn, but an NFL player saw a boy with autism sitting alone at a table, and sit down with him.

But what sticks out to me more is things the mom said.

I fucking hate how in the "Land of the Free", kids can't handle difference. As a kid, I noticed that and that's one reason I thought the flag salute was total horseshit... when I was in elementary school!

This article linked to another one, about a girl from Canada who, at age 7, was bullied (to the point of being dragged through mud) for nothing more than her love of insects.

The fact that little kids are adorable (I have a nephew aged 8 and niece aged 4) hides the fact that kids can be rotten, cruel little shits. They need to be taught morality and compassion, badly.

We're barely the "Land of the Free", you expect us to be the Land of the Tolerant, too?

I've always considered 'The American Dream' to be horseshit. It's no surprise that 'The Land of the Free' is horseshit too.

The idea of the American Dream is only a thing because because form other, poorer countries saw it as a land of opportunity or whatever. Now that information spreads farther and faster than ever, people from those same countries are starting to understand the true nature of our "great" nation. Unfortunately, this comes with the side effect of them rubbing it in our faces any and every chance they get.

I'm on the fence about joining my school's autism awareness or whatever club. I email them my rant a few weeks and they still haven't responded. There's also the fact that I don't really have time in my packed schedule. I do still feel an obligation, but why should I be obligated? Just because I'm female doesn't make me obligated to join a feminism club. Being autistic doesn't mean I have to drop more important parts of my schedule to join an autism club. But I'm still afraid they'll screw it up and I won't be there to stop it :/

If you feel you should be there to moderate the message, dispel stereotypes, and get your voice in, then definitely join. If the cost (in terms of time spent, etc.) of joining isn't too great, then you probably should, I think.

Another "autism in women significantly underdiagnosed" article. I am noticing that the UK in particular seems to have a worse time understanding and recognizing autism than the US.

I could totally see that. Anyone here with similar experiences?

-Glances down at emergency room bill received after panic attack on the street-

When I was on a "my autism story" binge the other day, I came across someone else who wasn't diagnosed until adulthood, and went through a lot of shit because of it. And the worst part is that that's typical :/ If I have to hear another skewed ratio of autistic boys vs autistics girls being presented as an authoritative fact, or another blue autism awareness ribbon (The blue is actually supposed to represent boys)

(A bit long, but worth it)