Parenting

But what of the variety? I mean, my question is more oriented to like..."Is there enough variety being supplied at affordable prices?" because if it is not the lack of variety then I say the purchase choices are befalling the parents, not the companies.

There isn't' a lot of variety unless you're willing to spend money. You can find more conservative clothes but they're going to be at department stores , not your discount stores.

Like if I had a daughter, I'd have to probably make or alter boy's clothes for her to have things that are long enough. I couldn't afford to buy a more conservative pair ready made because not only would I have to drive 45 minutes to the local mall and spend gas I don't have, I would be spending $20-50 for one piece of clothing easy.

If you're poor, then your options are very slim when buying new clothes.

I have a seven year old daughter, and we buy most of her clothes at "Mom to Mom" sales, which are like large, usually church-sponsored garage sales. Department stores are much harder to shop at, because everything is catered to the latest fashion styles, which tend to sexualize women and girls.

More kids should walk to school. Which my kids did until they changed schools this year. My wife will not let them walk 5 miles to school on mostly rural roads. Idiot Nephew would also love to walk his 3 miles to school, but we won't let him because soon as we do he'll undoubtably go back to breaking into abandoned farm buildings and stashing runaway packs.

My son and I used to walk to school together. But I was unemployed and we only lived less than a quarter of a mile away.

I wouldn't mind walking my son to school if I didn't have to work except our roads aren't made for walkers. Bikers even have a hard time.

If they want more children to walk to school they need to make the path safer and have schools closer to residential areas. I'm not letting my kid walk in bad weather. They may think it's worth the cardio but I can't take the time off work nor does my son deserve to have the flu because it was too damn cold or wet for him to be sloshing to school.

Parents' being desensitized to violence and sex could lead to children being exposed to media content like this at earlier ages.

PG-13 movies have a higher rate of gun violence then R movies currently.

(To which I would say it's easier to make a "clean" death from a gun at a distance then in R movies which will probably have more maiming, anatomically accurate, or what not deaths. Saving Private Ryan vs. Red Dawn sorta thing.)

Aprilla and I have talked about this, how looking back our favorite cartoons like Batman the Animated Series, X Men, and what not were a lot darker than what we remember. He was allowed much more freedom with what he could view, probably inappropriately so (watching Robocop at 9 for example), and I was dangerously sheltered. (I wasn't allowed to consume any media practically. My mom was even strict if she didn't like the cover art I wasn't allowed to have access to it.)

However, I have noticed that my mother's over-protectiveness actually hurt me in the long run. I read my first Steven King, The Shining, when I was like, 11 or 12. I expressed an interest in forensic science at a young age and was drawn to murder mysteries not because I liked violence, but because of the crime scene investigative part. I wasn't watching an autopsy because I loved blood, I was fascinated that you could examine a wound and know what made it based on the skin tears. My father being a cop also helped normalize this work for me.

So while I do think parents need to be aware of what effect media is having on their children, I would not just assume because something is violent or sexual is is automatically bad. I appreciate the darkness of Batman Beyond and can use some of these cartoons as a way to have discussions about real life issues like death, bullying, justice vs. revenge, why we have rules, mental illness, etc. with my son in a way that is actually pretty safe for his understanding. He may not get it all now, but at least he is being introduced to these heavy concepts in a more honest and age appropriate fashion.

But here is the key, I am with my child in this. I am guiding his media and using it for education as well as entertainment. We can talk about Young Justice and why Nightwing is giving that order. I'm not just giving him media without any context.

I think that is what parents need to think of first with their children. First, who cares the age of your child to a point. The maturity of the child is more important to me. If a 10 year old can handle issues normally reserved for a 15 year old, so be it. Likewise if your 16 year old is that immature, you may want to dial it back for them.

But parental engagement is key. Why does your child like that thing? Do they like seeing the soldiers because they want to be one when they grow up or because they like blood? Do they like that monster movie because he's eating people or because they want to be a makeup artist? Are you even giving your child the chance to see this media for more than just mindless entertainment?

That is more important than the media alone to me.

When your kid is coughing, a placebo will probably work better than the medication.

Cough drops are the only thing we use with coughing just because most of the time, my son is actively trying to cough something out like phlegm or mucus. So I don't want it to quit, but I don't want it to excessively hurt either.

And I can make those from scratch, so no worries about loading his system with things he doesn't need, though this does raise the question about how quick pediatricians are in dumping medications on our kids.

I usually use liquid children's tylenol, or something similar. Just coats the throat and dulls any pain, without entirely suppressing the cough. Interestingly, they seem to cough less anyway- so I suspect that there is an actual "placebo" effect going on.

http://manila.coconuts.co/2014/11/13/xavier-school-student-threatens-jump-building

A sad thing in my alma matter where a student was willing to off himself cause of issues with his family. Many people suspects that it may be with parents' way of raising him. I don't know the details, but both alumni and student parents feel that they should have privacy.

edited 15th Nov '14 8:45:49 PM by Ominae

Huh. What are these issues exactly?

Nothing known as this point. I suspect the school doesn't want to make it worse, so they didn't tell the media

The newspapers around my neck of the woods don't report on suicides or attempted suicides, not unless it only comes to light that the death was a suicide after it has been reported or if the person was well known.

I think it's better that way.

Current teens are less lonely than previous generations, while simultaneously having fewer close friends.

This whole generational thing is very interesting to see develop. By the time something is worked out though, I will probably be dead though. Still I think this generational gap and new methods of communication and socializing are not given the importance that is deserved.

Good news, smoking, drinking, and drug use among teens has dropped significantly, with the possible exception of e-cigs, which have not been tracked in previous years.

And on a more debatable issue, is it OK to be naked in front of your kids? Some prominent bloggers have come under fire for daring to show their kids natural bodies in a non-sexualized manner, in an effort to teach their kids both good body image and behavior.

I will not be seen naked by my child if I can help it.

To me, it is a matter of bodily respect and boundaries. I have been teaching him that his body is his own to be respected and not invaded by someone else, even visually. So to me allowing my son to see me naked would be a big set back in teaching him bodily autonomy and that you wait for an explicit invitation before entering someone's space or interacting with them.

I've read a few of those blogs and while I think they have good intentions, I don't think this is the best way.

My son cannot see me naked because I have not invited him into that space and I see no healthy reason why he should. Kids follow your actions, not your words.

His body is his own and if I expect him to be wise with how and whom he chooses to share it with, then I need to follow my own rules.

I do not want any kids yet as I still have stuff to work on. I might be selfish, childish and immature but I realize even if I did have kids I wouldn't be able to know what to do. I still need to go back to school and go to college again, I still want to experience new things and I still want to play more video games. I would make a good uncle but I am not ready parenthood yet. Maybe one day I would think about it.

Sorry, english speakers. I take it that for this you are absolutely goddamn screwed.

There is this website done by Costa Rican institutions of telecommunications, in conjunction with a research centre and a charity foundation to the benefit of children that made a website oriented towards educating parents about technology.

it warns of dangers, benefits and gives tips, all this based on research from some papers of mainly Argentine and Spanish sources, coupled with statistics localized to the country. Its goals are to "protect", "orient", "inspire", and "empower" parents and through them, children, in the things the internet means.

Of the things it mentions of potential problems are Cyberbullying,, Sexting, Innapropriate content, Predators, Digital Footprint,Cybercrime, Gaming, Social Networks, and it gives tips on what to teach your children.

Among the tips, there are for example teaching them that:

• It is better to share less, than more
• Thinking before sharing
• Do not do to others what you would not like them to do to you
• Remember it is not a popularity contest
• Be creative with passwords
• Make yourself hard to find (turn off GPS, etc)
• Be with them through every step

it is much more detailed in its original language, those are just subjects they brush.

I think the initiative is interesting and necesary, I am glad to see people tak an interest in that. Problem is, few people, parents among them, do not know how to control their internet! So how are they gunna go ahead and control their kids? Heh. Silly.

I was always amazed when people say they can't help what their kids do, especially with technology.

I always ask them, "Who bought them the (insert electronic device they're complaining about?"

• I did

"Who continues to support the (device) with a subscription or access?"

• I do.

"And who has the power to take the device away or cut off their access to the internet?"

• (dddduuuuuuhhhhhhhh)

Bitch please. Who's the adult? Who's responsibility is it to make sure your kid isn't a moron or doing something shady? You.

Then again I've seen 5 year olds with cell phones and tablets. I'm not going to throw blanket statements out there. Some kids need cell phones since land lines are so rare and there are kid phones that parents can program to only accept calls or dial out numbers they program. That's fine. There are parents that are very careful to only let their children use a tablet or computer for certain programs have have good blocks.

But if you wouldn't give your kids the car keys without any training, you shouldn't give them internet access without training as well.

In my family, my younger brother (who is 15) is our tech support. I wonder if other families have this same sort of situation.

My cousin has an old(ish) computer that her kids use for games (mostly educational). It's not hooked up to the internet most of the time, with the exception of their "Minecraft time" (4 hours a week), and connecting that computer to the internet requires a cable that's locked up most of the time. Then again, the kids are 5 and 7. My cousin said that when they start needing the internet for assignments in school, they'll ease the restrictions, but she and her husband will try and stay involved in their schoolwork when it comes to that.

edited 11th Feb '15 9:06:08 AM by Zendervai

Younger kids do tend to be savvier around technology than us. And I am like. 25. I am not THAT old, but for them it is more intuitive.

And yes, parents are really, really bad at handling internet permissions most of the time. We have had plenty of examples with the sexting and the pornography.

here is an article linked in the website that talks baout one specific subject: Pornography

which apparently first appeared on the NY Times so its prolly old news but whatevs

Yeah, here in Switzerland recent research has indicated that like 90% or so of most parents don't know much about what their children do online.

I suspect that since most parents aren't digital natives they can't control or educate their children on it well. I know I learned almost all IT stuff either from reading it up or from a course I had in school in Germany which dealt with, among other things, malware, sexting and predators.

I remember the necesity of guides to pas hard videogames was what introduced me to the internet! My parentsnever gave a damn. Bad on them I guess now my life is over

It all depends on the kids. Some kids can be trusted because they are capable, some kids need more help.

I never had a cell phone or internet access until I was over 18 and bought it myself and used the college's wifi. I even bought my own computer but that was after my son was born.

My son on the other hand, god help him, is very impressionable and is having a hard time retaining anything. He isn't at his age level. He will need more supervision and guidence because of this than probably the average kid his age.

Another thing is know your kid's faults. My son wouldn't intentionally click on a bad site or talk to strangers. But he's dense enough that he would do something if someone asked him without thinking, "Is this a good idea?" or the like.

Your kid is also a kid. What's obvious to us is out of their realm of experience most of the time. Parents have to remind ourselves that our kid doesn't know better yet unless they've been taught to.