DUMB
Well, in VALIS he wrote that the end times were said to come while Jesus' followers were still alive or something like that, and that the modern world was actually the demiurge's Epiphanic Prison to prevent us from realizing that it was actually like 70 AD. But uh, yeah, he was pretty crazy
As for that trolling thing, I saw something on Reddit encouraging that on a smaller scale. Basically parking a bunch of cars near him and abandoning them, strewing clothes around, playing a bunch of horns, etc.
edited 12th May '11 10:39:55 AM by Tzetze
[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
NOT THE BEES
OMG NO NOSECONES
^^ EDIT: OH YEAH. I'm so down with that prank.
I'll have to jot this down on my daily planner for 5/22:
- Wake up.
- Have a good laugh.
- Proceed with my day as usual.
- (possibly leave my car parked by this wag's car, and laugh at him from a discreet distance.)
That said, I do believe in the Rapture as preached by most Christian churches, but it's going to be a surprise. Coudl be on 5/20 for all I know, or 5-21-2017. There's been a zillion attempts of figuring out that date, and as of yet, all of those dates have come and gone without incident.
Could be in 2101, when war was beginning.
edited 12th May '11 10:56:46 AM by pvtnum11
Happiness is zero-gee with a sinus cold.
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
Rapture could be at any point even the next second.
Of course guys like this amuse me.
ON THE DAY OF RECKONING THE TUEFEL SHALL BE FREED FROM HIS PRISON IN HUMAN FORM!
Who watches the watchmen?
Is that cake frosting?
Wikipedia
on rapture predictions:
- 1844 - William Miller predicted Christ would return between March 21, 1843 and March 21, 1844, then revised his prediction, claiming to have miscalculated Scripture, to October 22, 1844. The realization that the predictions were incorrect resulted in a Great Disappointment. Miller's theology gave rise to the Advent movement. The Baha'is believe that Christ did return as Miller predicted in 1844, with the advent of The Báb, and numerous Miller-like prophetic predictions from many religions are given in William Sears book, Thief in The Night.[56]
- 1891[57], 1990[58] - Mormon "Prophet" Joseph Smith predicted on two different occasions when Christ would return.
- 1914[59], 1918[60], 1925[61], 1942[62] and 1975[63] - Dates set for the end by the Jehovah's Witnesses
- 1981 - Chuck Smith predicted that Jesus would probably return by 1981.[64]
- 1988 - Publication of 88 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1988, by Edgar C. Whisenant.
- 1989 - Publication of The final shout: Rapture report 1989, by Edgar Whisenant. More predictions by this author appeared for 1992, 1995, and other years.
- 1992 - Korean group "Mission for the Coming Days" predicted October 28, 1992 as the date for the rapture.[65]
- 1993 - Seven years before the year 2000. The rapture would have to start to allow for seven years of the Tribulation before the Return in 2000. Multiple predictions.
- 1994 - Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church in Los Angeles predicted June 9, 1994. Radio evangelist Harold Camping predicted September 6th, 1994.[66]
- 2011 - Harold Camping's revised prediction has May 21, 2011 as the date of the rapture.[67][68]
- 2060 - Sir Isaac Newton proposed, based upon his calculations using figures from the book of Daniel, that the Apocalypse could happen no earlier than 2060.[69][70]
Wow, 1992-1994 were three interesting years.
edited 12th May '11 11:58:05 AM by Carciofus
But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.
OMG NO NOSECONES
There was another chart I saw from somewhere that had a zillion predictions, all throughout history.
Happiness is zero-gee with a sinus cold.
Is that cake frosting?
Is it bad that when I read "raptured" I think "raptored"? As in, mauled by raptors?
But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.
OMG NO NOSECONES
Clever girl...
Happiness is zero-gee with a sinus cold.
DUMB
Huh, the world ended on the day I was born. That's the birthday paradox for you, I guess.
edited 12th May '11 12:14:20 PM by Tzetze
[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
Is that cake frosting?
Yeah, I suppose. Though it makes your interest in Gnosticism and apocalyptic literature in general a tiny bit disquieting... ;-)
edited 12th May '11 1:03:19 PM by Carciofus
But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.
DUMB
Hm, I wonder if I can get a ἀντίχριστος bumper sticker or hat or something.
[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
Crazy Kiwi
I'm planning on inviting a Christian friend - well, specifically his tribe of kids - over for my son's birthday that day.
This bloke is one who mentioned the Rapture some time back and I told him that it'd already happened (as per my earlier post in this thread). He laughed like mad - he's that sort of guy - and he's also prone to inviting me over for a barbecue by saying "I've got a stake waiting for you", so I can well imagine him and his kids failing to turn up to the party just to fuck with my mind (and the teeniest bit of revenge for the "you False Prophets" jibe...)
PARTY HARD!!!!
I'm looking forward to Newton's date. I find his date especially interesting given the level of technology we'll have by that point...
<insert silly b-movie sounds effects>
Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation? Tell me, if you understand. Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know! ~ GOD
Crazy Kiwi
Aforementioned Christian friend is now thinking of changing his voicemail message on the 21st to "I'm sorry, I am unable to take your call as I am no longer on this plane of existence..."
"BRB RAPTURE!"
See, those types of Christians, those type of anybody, make awesome friends.
Gotta laugh at our differences people.
So like, is Jesus going to be aware of what's happened in the past 2000 years? Because if he isn't then I think we should take him around to things like amusment parks and airplanes and totally blow his mind.
Never trust anyone who uses "degenerate" as an insult.
Crazy Kiwi
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Yep, he's a cool bloke. Thoroughly secure in his own beliefs so doesn't feel threatened by pagans such as myself or atheists or any other belief. He has no need to tear down others to make himself feel strong and he can laugh at himself and his own beliefs.
A good friend.
edited 13th May '11 4:02:17 PM by Wolf1066
OMG NO NOSECONES
I think I'll disappear from the forum for a few days just to mess with you all.
Happiness is zero-gee with a sinus cold.
Oh My
It doesn't work if you tell us!
If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah
OMG NO NOSECONES
...dang it....
Happiness is zero-gee with a sinus cold.
Oh My
Though it wouldn't work with me anyway because I tend to not notice shit like that unless someone points it out...
If someone wants to accuse us of eating coconut shells, then that's their business. We know what we're doing. - Achaan Chah
When I was in New York last month, a black lady got on the train with us and started shouting at us to repent, because Jesus would return on the 21st of May. After she had finished quoting what must have been half of the Book of Revelation, she politely asked my friend where he was from, and talked with him about travelling in general for about half an hour.
When we got off the train, his first words to me were "Oh Jesus, I thought she was going to kill me."
Night Clerk of the Apacalypse.
Don't worry we can point and laugh at the loons in very short order.
Who watches the watchmen?
DUMB
This must be a scary time for them.
[1] This facsimile operated in part by synAC.
Wasn't it Philip K Dick who speculated somewhere that perhaps the End Times were going to be shortly after the coming of the Messiah, as suggested by a literal interpretation of some passages of the NT, and that time has just somehow been compressed — perhaps by a malevolent entity, I am not sure what he meant: it was a rather rambling talk — enough to make thousands of years "fit into" a short external time?
edited 12th May '11 6:15:29 AM by Carciofus
But they seem to know where they are going, the ones who walk away from Omelas.