Creating a Faux Dark Action Girl

Well, not related to my version of the reconstruction of the Magical Girl Genre you see lately, but it has to deal with another story of mine I had in mind for a time.

One of the villains in the story against the heroes is a Faux Dark Action Girl; she is skillful in seducing men, but is very, very, very useless when it comes to combat (in fact, she doesn't even fight save just that one event in the story but even then, she lose that battle; real hard.) It's a Take That! that only Action Girls are affected by the Faux Action Girl syndrome and why Dark Action Girls don't get the same treatment. To make matters clear, I had that character involved in the story since I started created it and that the Faux part of her came in just for her.

So what do you guys think I should improve this? Criticisms are welcome.

To add things about it, most of the other women / girls in the story are Action Girls. Even the women from the villain side can at least pick up a fight, it just that the character mentioned above that is a Faux Dark Ation Girl.

Some suggestions:

Whenever she tries to fight against the real action girls she breaks an ankle or an arm, it shows that not only is she fake but she can't even hurt the real thing without hurting herself even more.

She tries to attack one of the heroines and gets floored in one off-hand punch, I'm talking teeth and blood flying everywhere while her target goes on like the attack never even happened.

She tries to jump kick the lead heroine but misses and lands in a pile of something gross like trash or rotten banana peels to add a comedic element to the story if you wish.

She fires a Gatling Gun into a big clump of people and every shot misses.

That actually still makes her an Action Girl except she's employing a different trope.

Eh, I wouldn't say just losing in a fight is an indicator of Faux-ness, especially since she's a villain (they're kinda expected to lose, aren't they?). What would be a better indicator for me is her attitude. She talks tough but she always lets everyone else do the fighting and sits passively on the sidelines, or she chickens out before a real fight, or surrenders easily, stuff like that.

Basically, I see it as she's set up to be a fighter, but she doesn't do any real fighting at all, and that is due to her own choices rather than the skill/strength of the heroes.

edited 4th Apr '11 8:41:17 AM by melloncollie

^ Like Sakura from Naruto. Supposedly, she, Naruto and Sasuke are a team, headed by their teacher Kakashi. But when a fight comes along, she just stands there. Everyone else is fighting, she's just standing there making the occasional comment (mostly when Sasuke, her crush, gets hurt). On a few occasions she does actually fight, and immediately gets defeated or captured or something, but most of the time she just inexplicably stands there and no one calls her on it. (Even the enemies ignore her, usually.)

Well, for my interpretation of what a Faux Action Girl should be:

1. Is said to be an Action Girl by other characters or in her profile. 2. But we end up never (or occasionally) get into fights to show her fighting skills, or ends up losing in every battle she comes across.

I kinda followed the 'Show, Don't Tell' rule about this. No point claiming that she can fight but in reality she failed to live up anyone's expectations. But it's up to the audience to see if the so-called Action Girl live up to standards.

edited 5th Apr '11 7:56:31 AM by MrHollowRabbit