Things You are No Longer Allowed to Do in an RPG

@2775 Speaking as someone who named a bard after Kermit the Frog just so that I could use "The Rainbow Connection" to inspire courage in a Pathfinder game, I totally get that.

I've discovered that you get, at best, a limit of one Muppet-inspired PC per GM. Relatedly, I don't know when I'm going to make a cleric based on Sweetums, but somebody is going to have it coming.

• I cannot attempt to seduce the werewolfess the Nazis were using for breeding stock whilst we are still being shot at.
  • That does not mean I can try it on after the shooting stops either.

• Rigging mini pressure-sensitive bombs underneath toilet seats is both cruel and hilarious.

• The Nazi werewolves are man-wolf genetic monstrosities. Silver bullets and wolfsbane aren't going to do jack shit.

• Never judge a monster until you have fought it.

• 'Blood for the Blood God' is an inappropriate battle cry for a SOE agent.
  • For a Gurkha, on the other hand, it is more than appropriate.

• Not allowed to use an X-Wing as a breaching missile on a bunker.
• Not allowed to fire on the final boss with a Star Destroyer.
  • No matter how effective it may be.
• Just because I have a flamethrower doesn't mean I have to use it.
• Not allowed to buy more than 20 canisters of poison gas at a time.
• No taking monarchs as hostages.

edited 10th Jun '17 7:07:21 PM by Troper_Walrus

• No longer allowed to enslave kobolds, no matter how much I argue it could "help" us "infiltrate" a dragon's lair
  • No longer allowed to leave said kobold in the party's bag of holding without a straw sticking out for air
  • No longer allowed to dress said kobold up in costumes, regardless of cuteness
  • No longer allowed to use said kobold as an untrained weapon

The Dwarvish God of Bad Beer, Hangovers and Drunken Orgies does not demand a sacrifice of hops, barley and other grains.

Dwarves do not turn to stone when they get hangovers.

Dwarves are not pests to breweries

Dwarves do not require a pint a day to live.

A dwarf with an Irish accent works. A dwarf with a German accent can work. A dwarf with a Jamaican accent is a no.

Just because dwarves are short and stubby does not mean they are natural companions to corgis.

There was never a Dwarven War of the Beer. It was of the Beard, and the elves deserved it.

Just because elves can be cute does not mean that dwarves will think her cute.

Flame throwers are no longer to be used as breaching tools.

(If I copied anyone else's by accident... I'm sorry) If I somehow find myself in Kingdom Hearts, I may not refer to Zexion as Sexy Zexy

- I am not allowed to give anyone in Kingdom Hearts any nickname, ever

- I am not allowed to give anyone anywhere any nickname ever.

edited 17th Jun '17 3:56:32 PM by awithers09

Of course not. Real dwarves don't get hangovers.

Also technically true. Dwarves do not require a pint a day to live. Depending on the dwarf they either require a pint a day to want to live or (for particularly bad tempered dwarves) for everyone else to live.

Our GM has seen fit to inform me that if we ever getting to play a W40k game I am forbidden from:

• Any Authority Figure with Boltguns (Or equivalent firearms)
• A Dark Angel (I may have insinuated I might flip a coin to decide if he's Loyal or Fallen but not tell anyone ever)
• A Bloody Magpie
• A Thousand Son (If I ever convince him for Black Crusade)

I am allowed to play a Ultramarine homaging Cato Sicarius but it will end in Bloodthirsty ex machina

edited 20th Jun '17 6:39:47 AM by 3of4

Your DM is no fun when it comes to 40k stuff it seems

Fun is strictly verboten in any of my games.

is you DM Papa Alfa? as he seems to regret a lot of what he's created these day.... except Cunto, Cunto is still hilarious

but a Blood Raven played straight (thirst for knowledge, take a load of lores, tries to plan out battles in advance despite the Sargent being borderline suicidal and trying to charge Terminators) can be good fun, hell, my Blood Raven was the fucking straight man of the group! only one who actually WANTED to purge the Xenos scum we encountered!

Nah, its

And he's not all bad. For that OW game we planned but which got put on hold due to rl reasons he was fully behind me making a Cadian tank driver who was, quote, "Raised, born and fucking conceived", unquote, in the tank the char was commanding.

edited 20th Jun '17 12:22:27 PM by 3of4

(sprays tank with disinfectant)

also, he said no "Authority Figures with Boltguns (Or equivalent firearms)" an adept isn't an authority figure, and a flamer is nothing like a boltgun, and there's nothing to stop the adept from snapping and descending into pyromancy....

Every time I read that, I have to undo my mental autocorrect. My brain is insisting there are Canadians in WH 40 K. Go ahead, replace every mention of Cadians you read in the source material with Canadians in your head and you'll see why I have a hard time taking 40k seriously whenever they come up in conversation.

I'm shocked, shocked, that you would have trouble taking seriously something where one of the major alien threats is an army of giant green football hooligans.

In any case, I think Cadians are going to have Canadian accents in my head now, eh.

Side note, whence comes that quote in your signature? Searching for it only gets me hits from, well, your signature.

edited 20th Jun '17 11:35:19 PM by rikalous

Cadians are more or less based off Canadians from both Wars, even the name, they're the Cadian Shock Troops, and Canadians were known as the Shock Troops of the British Empire....

rikalous, Knight Of Lsama - I'm finding it funny you'd both comment on those two, yet neither of you had an issue with my lady dwarf who has a beard and lit it up at a public wedding, prayed to the Dwarvish god of hair growth, and asked not to be taken by the Devil Who Shaves Beards, and also proclaimed herself to be part of a union which includes gnomes, halflings, goblins and hobbits.

... Or how she claimed her dwarf baby would be fine, as the dwarven womb's fluid is 90% alcohol.

I think it was a part of someone elses signature on a different forum I frequent. There was a small list of quotes like that. I guess they must have changed it by now.

I hadn't made the connection. I thought it was referring to Arcadia, the land of the Old Fey. Also known as Magic Australia or The Place Where Everything Kills You Or Worse. I've learned something about my country's history today.

edited 21st Jun '17 8:54:52 AM by Azreal341

From a one-shot of Rogue Trader:

Your spymaster is never to spy on the strong, handsome men again. No, not even while they are working.

Referring to the grumpy one as 'speedy' to make a masturbation joke is no longer allowed.

Similarly, just because he's a Ratling does not mean you can call him 'tiny' due to the size of his penis.

You being a void-born does not mean you are Star Trekkin' across the universe.

Nor are you on the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk, he's called Koork.

Just because you have 10 Fate Points does not mean that Fate smiles on you. Even if you can bring down a Greater Daemon of Slaanesh and learn of the tastes of your fellow crew mates, due to them being a Keeper of Secrets.

Scaring the Inquisition does not mean you finally expected the Imperial Inquisition.

Even if you roll a 1 on a D100 roll with -10 on it, you still fail to charm the Inquisitor questioning you.

No longer allowed to play a seduction based character opposite of my gnder and that of my game master. It creeps him out.

• The appropriate reaction to Ahlat, the god of War and Cattle appearing in the sky to curse the city my character is in is not "Holy Cow!"

• Dark Heresy 2 does not support Ork chars
  • Even if it did, I am not allowed to make 'OLL MAIGHT, THE SYMBOL OF WAAAAAAGGGHHH!'

"OY! IT'S FINE NOW! WHY? 'COS I AM ERE!"

Personally I think All Might would make a fine Ork and symbol of the WAAAGH!

Intimidate is not the only social skill, and not the one to be used first on hapless commoners.