ITT: Talk about non-existent music

Oh man, eighteenth-dimensional nu-divinitycore is the worst. I tried listening to Vatarelslelshgnvmak once, and I woke up four weeks later on top of Mount Everest dressed in a cloak of unicorn hair. Not reccommended, unless you actually like waking up disoriented and still not sure whether your memories are real.

Anyone heard about Ijsjfyhbacufgyegb's new album, hjhcfhydshyude8? She's a pretty good singer, actually, but I can't stay awake through any of her concerts! It's weird.

Meh. She's an okay singer, but I can't understand her.

I have a question. What albums are good entry points for these bands?

Metallic Pantyhose Theory

Frostbite on the left side brain

Evil kittens master plan

^As a die hard fan of Metallic Pantyhose Theory let me tell you, their debut album Sunday Morning Hangover is their best, most pure work. Then, listen to their third album, Plastic PalmTrees to hear it all turn to shit. It was around that time when their singer, Derek Goodright, suddenly ballooned up to 300 Lbs. and would get so drunk and messed up on stage that he couldn't even remember the lyrics to his own songs, even with the aid of a teleprompter.

edited 4th Mar '11 1:21:51 PM by SeanMurrayI

For Frostbite on the Left Side Brain, conversely, they've only been getting better over time. Their first album was fairly generic postcore, but they've been getting better over time by adding elements of melogrind, country-ska and neo-salmon rock. Personally I think the only real step down was their fifth album I Want To Set Fire To Myself, where they let the country-ska elements predominate over everything else, but then they bounced back with Mouth of the Great White Orphan in the Sky. I've already pre-ordered their next album, and it's not due for 8 months!

As for Evil Kitten's Master Plan, they don't actually exist. The members of Nine Inch Frenzy joked about starting a roots-rock side project by that name, and their fans jumped and ran with that idea. That's why there's a hundred-something fan-made "remix" videos on youtube, but no videos of the original versions. Those remix videos, and that faked article on wikipedia (I guess Jim Wales is in on the joke?) are all that exists. That said, check out the remix videos posted by Sterence_650.

Frostbite On The Left Side Brain's best album, in my opinion, is Hotel Room. It's only an EP, but every song on that album was solid (some even more so; "Grit", anyone?).

edited 4th Mar '11 7:22:23 PM by ILoveDogs

"Grit" is beyond solid. "Grit" is so far beyond solid that the only valid comparison is with the interior of a neutron star.

I know, right? See, most rock songs, like "Grit", have far too much guitars, with five different solos in a song. But the guitars are steady throughout, and only at the end is there a triumphant solo.

Oh man, eighteenth-dimensional nu-divinitycore is the worst. I tried listening to Vatarelslelshgnvmak once, and I woke up four weeks later on top of Mount Everest dressed in a cloak of unicorn hair. Not reccommended, unless you actually like waking up disoriented and still not sure whether your memories are real.

Here's a tip: Never listen to any music past the 5th dimension, unless it's at a live concert. At least all of the exits are usually locked and barred, if there are any.

Has Weird Al done a polka version of The Corrupted Symphony by Todd In The Shaddows yet?

@Wicked: If you're listening to eighteenth-dimensional nudivinitycore, the lack of exits won't stop you from getting somewhere.

Anyway, when it comes to extra-ds, I can only stand 108th Dimensional Cyclipunk.

@Sean Plastic Palmtrees had a couple of decent tracks. Bottle in my hand is an especially stand out track. Of course that doesn't excuse Derek from having a whole turkey dinner in the middle of a live concert. That was just...What was he thinking!?

Guys, stop what you're doing, vital processes excluded. This news was just posted on Fetal Arcana Syndrome's website:

The wait is finally over for fans of electronic blackened J-polka. Fetal Arcana Syndrome, most likely the only band in the genre, has announced that Unleash the Keevlestogg, their third concept album, is set to be released this April under the Hamster Fragment label. It will be made available as a single record or a two-disc set with live tracks from their Oatmeal Cycle tour.

The first single has been made available for listening through their YouTube channel.

Fetal Arcana Syndrome's new song sounds awesome, but I think it's wrong to say they're the only electronic blackened J-polka band. Ever heard of Psychic Detonator? I guess you could argue that they're more blackened electronic J-polka than electronic blackened J-polka, but Tomoaki Takano's said that his songwriting takes a lot of inspiration from that of Yune Matsumoto, so it's a bit cheap of him to say that Fetal Arcana Syndrome is something totally unique. (In fact, I'd say I prefer Psy-D; the way Matsumoto's death growls combine with the tuba on "Bleeding Cyan Gaze" has to be heard to be believed.)

So... is it just me, or has nuwave PC-Core been getting unneeded criticism lately? I mean, Elekktric Symphonia Tigers just had stuff thrown at them by metal fans! Why do so many people refuse to accept the new Genre Explosion!?

They're way better than J***** B*****, that's for sure.

Psy-D? Ace. I have to admit, it was only the moment I heard them that the realization Japanese music is so much more than stereotypical pop as represented by such bands as Benzoylmethylecgonine hit me.

Elekktric Symphonia Tigers always sounded more like drunkcore to me...

There's this new band who formed in my home city, Mojave Crust. As the name might imply, they're playing blackened crust with Fallout: New Vegas-themed lyrics. I've been at their show and they resembled Barkbrone a lot. That's a great relief to know there's more to Israeli music than terrible fusion bands.

edited 5th Mar '11 12:19:34 PM by Litis

I think PC-Core gets so much flak because the lyrics often fail to scan properly, and sometimes lose track of what the song was supposed to be about. For instance take this example from Don'tWorryI'llMakeMyselfASandwich 's third album, Person of Diminished Stature Engaging In (Perfectly Acceptable) Coprophagic Practices;

The nature of our sexual drives is at best difficult to control,

We probably shouldn't judge you for eating faeces I suppose,

and far be it from us to suggest that you engage in violence as a result of your sexual proclivities,

there is no correlation between violence and the coprophagic subculture whatsoever.

Is it brutal enough for extreme music fans? Of course it is. Try that out with a guttural growl, see how long before you have to clear the blood out of your throat. The problem is the meaning is completely lost, the rhythms have to adjust to fit the vocals (never a good thing in my book), and you just lose that urgency that is essential for good extreme music.

Then of course some people insist they're parodying the concept of Political Correctness Gone Mad. To be honest, I don't care which side of Poe's Law they fall on, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone who identified with this genre.

EDIT: Good point.

edited 5th Mar '11 1:26:52 PM by mmysqueeant

I think the real problem is that some people will always read into PC-Core lyrics in ways that make them offensive. It seems that when people hear a song such as the Hammers Ahr4 Naylz hit, "I support your right to assisted suicide with this axe," they hear the distorted guitars and harsh vocals and automatically label it as a violent threat against the terminally ill before they even get a chance to hear the line, "but only if it's the manner in which you'd prefer to leave this earth."

edited 5th Mar '11 1:00:03 PM by darnpenguin

PC Rock is kinda stupid, in my opinion. It's overly polite and still annoying.

Every musical (or operetta) has a Big-Lipped Alligator Moment, and The Pirates Of Penzance is no exception. "Behold, the 'normous tarantulas attack us all" CAN NOT GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

edited 6th Mar '11 12:37:37 PM by PDown

How was that a BLAM? Just look at the foreshadowing scattered throughout. It should be rather obvious that the Aranea were pulling the (no pun intended) strings the entire time to set up for their invasion. Never seen the actual musical, but I pray that there's a version somewhere that ends like this...

No, if you really want to see a musical stretch way beyond its bounds to accommodate a show-stopper, look no further than the end of Mozart's classic Singspiel, The shoemaker and the fire eater, in which it turns out the mayor was an Eldritch Abomination trying to turn the titular characters' wedding into an awakening ritual. Sure, I Like Brandy With My Terrified Townsfolk is a great song, but it's impossible to take the play seriously afterwards. If there's actually an opera about a cobbler and a circus performer falling in love and fighting Cthulhu, then damn it I want to see it. Maybe I should write it...

edited 6th Mar '11 7:23:23 AM by darnpenguin

The Shoemaker and the Fire Eater was good, but I thought some songs just fell flat. Like "Cobbler Cobbler". That was just stupid.

edited 6th Mar '11 8:24:30 AM by ILoveDogs