Advice on a character:

Total posts: [5]
1 NickTheSwing5th Feb 2011 10:48:28 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Swing, not Slide
For a new Fanfic I am writing, I am trying to come up with a character who starts out as The Ace / Parody Sue, and then slowly becomes a Broken Ace that finds he is quickly losing friends to war.

The setting is Code Geass, and is tied in with the last one I started writing.

The character is Bezide Ascato, a guy who is stated to be the clone of the Big Bad, has no clone degeneration, is a very pretty, handsome young man, has pure Blue Eyes, and is...well, oddly for a Bishonen, very buffed out.

He is a super soldier stated to be good at mostly everything, except speaking Esperanto. Insofar, he has utterly wasted two characters at once in his first fight ever, and curbstomped their mooks.

I am just concerned I might have made him too sueish. What should I do?

edited 5th Feb '11 10:48:43 PM by NickTheSwing

2 Edmania5th Feb 2011 10:50:14 PM from under a pile of erasers
o hai
Considering the setting, no, not too sue-ish.
If people learned from their mistakes, there wouldn't be this thing called bad habits.
3 NickTheSwing5th Feb 2011 10:54:23 PM from Ya really wanna know? , Relationship Status: Dating Catwoman
Swing, not Slide
ah, alright, thanks.

Any other advice on this character?
I don't have any advice, but I'll echo Edmania's opinion on the character not being a mgary sue.
5 doorhandle15th Feb 2011 11:39:01 PM from Space Australia!
that's acutally a good point: in a seires like Geass, the real power goes to the plotters and not the fighters. so he's proably not a sue, but is edging to it.
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Total posts: 5