Charlatan Mini-Liveblogs Whatever He's Playing

^Exactly What It Says on the Tin.

F.E.A.R. 2 demo downloaded. TIME TO MURDER SOME CLONES!

...;_;

MOMMY YOU NEVER TOLD ME I HAD TO FIGHT TWITCHY DAYGLO GHOST THINGIES ALONG WITH CLONE TROOPERS.

WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN MOMMY.

no moar acid for you charlie man

Okay fuck that shit let's play Crysis while blaring the Team America World Police song instead.

Time to fuck up Kim Jong Il's shit and play spess mehren.

Crysis? Allow me to express a desire for your computer.

It's a Sony Vaio, for the record.

Plays Crysis at...*checks* High setting. Dayumn. Framerate's only 30 FPS, but man this thing is a powerful little device.

Dear fellow SPESS MEHREENS: Please try not to parachute into the middle of nowhere where galactic robosquids with freeze rays can make mincemeat of you. Kthx.

edited 31st Jan '11 9:25:18 PM by Charlatan

...goddamn those things are pricey though.

Considering what you get in such a small package, it's all worth it, baby.

I need a job so bad.

This summer. This summer. This summer...

So anyway my rifle gun has a dart gun.

I can also get a grenade gun and I think a shotgun gun for my rifle gun in the full version...Gun.

Oh, and your supersuit apparently lets you play matador with oncoming enemy jeeps. OLE! *shoots the fuel tank*

This summer is an eyesore?

-Runs-

Remember, Every Car Is a Pinto.

Not gonna lie, I lol'd.

@Zudak: The game takes place in North Korea, so it's more like anything that isn't a Kalashnikov is a Pinto. And even then, for all I know they might have figured out a way to screw that up.

Oh yes, and I hope it makes you happy that this thread was (loosely) inspired by your Ridiculous Hipster Music thread.

Charlatan, screw around with the AK copy for a bit. You'll run out of ammo for the SCAR soon enough and the AK comes with a silencer.

What if I just use single shots for the SCAR and conserve ammo?

Speaking of which, I just found some new music I should put up in there.

edited 31st Jan '11 9:42:06 PM by Zudak

Jeebus Crysis is tough.

I think people who say new games are easy haven't played the proper games. The AI in this game is tricky.

So yeah as fun as hulking out and punching cars to death is it's kinda bad because then they explode while you're next to 'em.

Also I have nicknamed the gunboats/Zodiacs Steamboat Willies. They suck, because they can pepper me with bullets easier than I can return fire. They're not as much Goddamned Bats as Goddamned Boats.

Also I thought the dartgun for my riflegun was the bestest thing until I found out the darts only knock 'em out for a minute. D:

Also I love the shotgun in this game because you can adjust it for short or long range and personally I think the Short-Range Shotgun trope is crap I mean the shotgun in DOOM of all things had decent range unless you're talking the supershotgun which was grossly inefficient beyond 15 feet but absolute murder within that range.

Now on the other hand in the Rainbow Six games shotguns have realistic range and when the enemies get them it's scary but in the new games you can mount a scope on one and it's revenge baby.

This is better than Modern Warfare because it has aliens.

A lot of things are better than Modern Warfare, Charlie.

So I beat the FEAR 2 demo and GOD DAMMIT ALMA I DON'T CARE HOW BAD YOU WANT MY COCK 'CAUSE YOU WAIT YOUR TURN AND DAMN WELL BLOODY ASK ME FIRST.

Also, I have a battle robot. The Replica's puny arguments are invalid.

edited 31st Jan '11 11:48:39 PM by Charlatan

So I beat the Crysis demo.

My commander is like ENEMY BARRICADES AHEAD USE GRENADES TO BLAST THROUGH and I'm like bitch I ain't go no grenades so I cloak-jump over the fence and sneak through the bushes and then run like Hell.

Oh hey guys glad we're finally in one spot wait what why is there a frozen boat on top of this hill what the fuck is going on what the fuck was that noise HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK WHAT IS THAT OH SHIT IT GOT JOHNSON oh well fuck him I never liked him.

END OF DEMO.

Can you do the Opposing Force 2 Demo?

I lack any of the Half Life 2 series games, so sadly no.

...Oh yeah, I forgot.

And now for the Batman Arkham Asylum demo.

WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM.

I CAN FLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. *dropkick*

I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN. *dropkick* I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN. *dropkick* I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN. *dropkick* I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN. *dropkick* I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN. *dropkick*

This is so much FUN.

edited 2nd Feb '11 11:05:40 AM by Charlatan