Is there such a thing as too implacable?

So in this idea for a grrraphic novel, there's this implacable man, and...

Okay, I need to explain something. The protagonist has a magical revolver that can shoot gods and it's a bit of a Wild West fantasy setting with a lot of aspects of Native-American mythology. Sounds very bland like that, but fuck it, everything sounds shitty and bland when you reduce it to one sentence.

So there's this monster/zombie based on the Andiciopec. In the Crow religion, the Andiciopec is a warrior hero who is invincible to bullets (that's literally all Wikipedia has on him, so I can make my own backstory for him, whoo - although there's this) and in my story, there is some duder who had much the same going for him (from the equivalent of Indian culture in the setting). Then he was killed by Raushkf, a massive Hyännerman, and resurrected by the Big Bad who's the main "god" of the "Prairie Pantheon", Papa Tawato (name inspired by the guy from The League Of Gentlemen) to serve him. (Cliche meter: ping!)

He is now an Implacable Man Zombie with no face (he tore it off to hide his shame and wears a hyena skull to cover this fact. Hyenas take the place of coyotes in this world and are pretty large - not Warg large, but somewhere approaching - so that does work). He wields a rather large billhook ('ere and can summon the Hyännermannen (gnolls for all intents and purposes, except that purpose, because they're rotten and emaciated and constantly drool blood and gunk) to fight.

He serves the role of the 'dogger' - relentlessly pursuing the heroes. As said, he's immune to bullets (the gun is really the only thing that can hurt the gods, and may not be enough to kill Papa Tawato), and one of his lackeys, Babba Shaffeki, heals all of his wounds when needed (he barely notices them, but a broken leg, well, you need that shit fixed). He constantly screams "Ao, ao!" while pursuing and is eerily quiet in combat (at one point he gets run through by a bull's horns and gets crushed against a tree in the same movement and doesn't so much as groan - much to one of the protagonist's companions distress).

The first time they get rid of him, he gets buried partially under a rockslide. (Presumably he got the Hyännermannen to dig him out) Second time, he goes over the edge of the Inevitable Waterfall. The third time, he's dropped into a pit full of spikes and burning skulls in a temple to one of the gods (Jessait Jettri). Fourth time, he gets run over by a train (hey, it's the Wild West, gotta have trains).

All I'm wondering is: being a very dogged and supernatural pursuer is all well and good, he's supposed to be scary and all that. But is there really such a thing as too implacable? Should I be worried that, at some point, the audience won't start rolling their eyes and sighing "What, this guy still? Really, Always? The train, burning pit, fivehundred-foot nosedive and the avalanche didn't finish him off? What's it gonna take?" ( Dieing in the fight against Papa Tawato, if you're so damn curious

Please advice.

Sidenote: Why hyenas instead of coyotes? Because hyenas are unimaginably filthy and also a lot cooler than coyotes. Thank you. Really, look at the motherfucker at the top of this page. Fur's all tangled and shabby looking, it's got that mean little sneer and the ugly stumpy snout, and it probably smells like carrion and shit (as in literal shit, not as in invective). Fuck coyotes.

edited 11th Jan '11 3:00:27 AM by MisterAlways

Always touching and looking. Piss off.

You could add a twist to his appearance and introduction each time he pops up, that way he doesn't feel thrown in or forced to chase the characters.

And if he is constantly chasing them, you should have something happen that will allow him to recover and catch up with them so people don't wonder "How the hell did he catch up already after all of that? If he's that fast then how are they avoiding him?" You could have the characters do something that would keep them in one place long enough for distance to be closed in.

edited 11th Jan '11 3:29:07 AM by Vorpy

Troper Page

I was thinking of little details (his mask getting broken eventually, the little clothing he has being damaged like the little feathers and beads getting torn off). His main advantage is that he doesn't need to rest, so he can travel through night AND day, while the main characters still have to sleep. He's not slowed by the heat (or by the quite-common dust storms and bandits) and he can take shortcuts that the main characters can't (like temple-caves - by rumour filled with Papa Tawato's lackeys and monsters, and yes indeed they usually are).

edited 18th Jan '11 3:56:08 AM by MisterAlways

Always touching and looking. Piss off.

...well?

Always touching and looking. Piss off.

A nice trick to inspire dread would be having him work with another individual who gets killed when the implacable guy is delayed; having him show up once more would underscore his toughness.

This is this.

This is unrelated but your setting sounds hella' cool.

CAUSE EVERY GIRL IS CRAZY 'BOUT A SHARP DRESSED MAN

I think it depends on how the heroes react.

What I would wonder is, when he showed up the THIRD time and got run over by the train (presumably the heroes saw this? which is why the reader knows?) why did the heroes not MAKE SURE he was dead? You know - dismember the corpse, burn the pieces, and scatter the ashes. And if (when) that doesn't work, I'd think they're incredibly stupid if they didn't start doing some research into the supernatural.

I think it can work.

It sounds like all you have to do is make a character voice this:

"What, this guy still? Really, Always? The train, burning pit, fivehundred-foot nosedive and the avalanche didn't finish him off? What's it gonna take?"

before the audience does.

The other way to handle this is to have him fight the protagonists three times, precisely.

Because they were ON the train, which was speeding away from him at really-fucking-fast miles per hour. They basically almost never have time to go look for him. Nor do they want to, because, hey, shit, after the FIRST time, it became quite evident nothing short of Godzilla himself would kill him. I wonder if I should give him some kind of weakness, but I don't want it to be too weaksauce. Suggestions?

Always touching and looking. Piss off.

What I'm wondering is why he's after them, and why he hasn't caught them. I tend to enjoy stories where things are tied together.

Well, in its most basic form...the three-man band (John, Anthony, Maria) are on a quest to kill the gods of the prairies and their followers. They're quite fuckin' evil (the gods, that is). Now, the Andiciopec, as said, was a legendary warrior. Then he died, and the Big Bad, ruler over the evil gods*, Papa Tawato, infused him with his own essence, thereby raising him from the dead.

Papa Tawato already knows that somebody's hunting him - and that it's a competent person this time (the gun John uses has gone through many forms - it was a chunk of godly metal first, then a club, then a spear, then a knife, then a sword, and finally a gun, which is a bit more effective when it comes to killing things). He knows this through the Peoplemen - people made from clay, look and act just like normal humans, but you wouldn't know they weren't until you killed them or they were otherwise wounded, which is when it's revealed that they have no blood, organs, muscle, or other crud - just clay.  ^*

The Peoplemen, in essence, are his spies - keeping tabs on the people of the city that actually has the weapon. Nobody's really tried to kill Papa Tawato anymore for the past...oh, two hundred years or so, because it seemed futile (they'd been trying for a bit over two thousand years).

So the Peoplemen report to Papa Tawato that somebody's coming and this one seems to mean business because he's a rather good shooter. So Papa Tawato decides to fight fire with fire, and sends his most competent warrior - the Andiciopec - after him.

That's why the Andiciopec is trying to kill them.

Then as for why he doesn't manage to kill them. More backstory time.

There used to be good gods (which were no less eldritch and mind-warping in appearance than Papa Tawato and his sons, but they didn't specifically want to kill people. They did, because some of them were the gods of wild animals and war and murder and such, but it was more indirectly. There were also millions of lesser gods - a particular god revered amongst, say, mosquitoes, or the god of unusual and interesting rocks, the god of crop circles, etc.. Papa Tawato ate all of those, magnifying his power massively. The good gods were Sent Hence, that is to say, banished to parts unknown. There was very little they could do about it.

They can no longer directly influence the people of the prairies, but they can supply a little...divine providence, in limited amounts. It may not always hold up - they can't shield the trio from all the hyenamen or Peoplemen or Papa Tawato's other goons, but they can, for example, hinder the Andiciopec long enough that he'll only reach the trio at the top of a convenient waterfall, or in a temple with convenient pits in it.

The Andiciopec actually allows this, mentally, because he's not evil, his mind is free, but his body is being controlled semi-directly by Tawato. They still have to be subtle about it.

I just made all of that shit up, by the way. Rambling on Writer's Block is a great way to come up with shit for your story.

edited 18th Jan '11 3:57:17 AM by MisterAlways

Always touching and looking. Piss off.