I am going to rustle all of the jimmies
"She's got a sword, made of coffee! Or is that shit...?"
"Doki Doki Lit. Club" is a happy game where nothing bad happens. seriously tho? not for the faint of heart.
PAINKILLER
"Don't kinkshame Ayn Rand!"
Life is hard, that's why no one survives.
"Attractiveness: 7/10 in a rugged, gruff, I-would-watch-a-movie-with-him-in-it-but-probably-wouldn't-grope-him-in-a-crowded-subway sort of way"
My son is a dumbass
"Apologize to the tomatoes."
"At this point, it's not a song, it's a fucking painting."
The fact that only 140 characters are allowed here is honestly so disappointing to me.
The storm has arrived.
"Oh, ok. I'm fine now. I see the point for travelling the world and having magical babies with complete strangers."
Hey! Stop reading this! This is a signature, not a library!
That's just how it is on this bitch of an earth
"I always associate Christmas with bondage anyways"
off the shits
LEGENDARY GALE
"Welp, I just asked a guy if he wanted to start a war against phytoplankton and was only half joking. Ladies and gentlemen, my life."
but HOW?
drunk bunny
"I couldn't really pay attention to the anime while discussing how many midgets we could fit in a body pillow."
edited 10th Dec '15 1:49:02 PM by EpicBleye
"There's not a girl alive who wouldn't be happy being called cute." ~Tamamo-no-Mae
Part-Time Omen of Death
"I've been infected with the glitter herpes!"
Stupid doomed timeline...
"This 'jet' is also apparently a swordsman."
"Doki Doki Lit. Club" is a happy game where nothing bad happens. seriously tho? not for the faint of heart.
LEGENDARY GALE
"so sicon evolves into me that's neat"
but HOW?
No longer in use
Shortly thereafter:
(In context, the first quote is related to an ability of an Author Avatar character in a video game project.)
Now known as Cibryll.
drunk bunny
"The dogs may have learned how to spell, but they didn't learn about Benito Mussolini."
"There's not a girl alive who wouldn't be happy being called cute." ~Tamamo-no-Mae
Part-Time Omen of Death
"Ghosts don't have ankle blood."
It was a discussion about my apartment being haunted and how my cat wouldn't like it because she couldn't bite the ghosts' ankles.
Stupid doomed timeline...
"Just as planned."
"ALLAH ACKBAR! THE PEOPLES OF THE BOOK SHALL KNOW THE WORDS OF CALPHIA DAFINA!"
"Did you expect somebody else?"
Li'l Shardfinder
He died in his bed outside of his company, with his arm attached to his pillow...
You can not go to Utah again after you have eaten Utah and have not eaten.
The Zangoose nobody likes
"Once again, my duck isn't a lesbian."
"That is hard to argue or agree with." ~Penny
I don't think ghosts have boobs.
The platypus is my spirit animal.
"How could I have know that throwing up a shirt would lead to this?"
Li'l Shardfinder
Like sittin' on big tomatoes...
(I almost misheard a lyric in a Talking Heads song. Although considering the song I was listening to, the above wouldn't have been that out of place...) 
"Jesus motherfucking tapdancing Christ on a bike"
Combining different versions of "Jesus Christ" as an expletive that I've heard
"Just as planned."
"I had no idea that red haired barbarian could be taken so literally."
"Did you expect somebody else?"
Aw, come on, he's just a vertical fucking dinosaur, and you— Wait, what? "vertical"?!
You can not go to Utah again after you have eaten Utah and have not eaten.