Swimming Donkey was from the war-torn country of America. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her Love herself and her family while Swimming. Then they Killed her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a Donkey came in and killed the soldiers by Flying them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the Donkey was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no Donkey. She was consumed by her Swimming. Fighting you cleansed her soul and Face, Snake.
I laughed and laughed >.<
edited 31st Dec '10 2:05:31 PM by Counterclock
Teeny hat.
The potential for lulz is huge!
"If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler mustache?" - Yahtzee
How do you kill someone by flying them? >.<
Flagellating Squid was from the war-torn country of Notrealistan. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her flood herself and her family while flagellating. Then they porked her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a squid came in and killed the soldiers by dancing them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the squid was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no squid. She was consumed by her flagellating. Fighting you cleansed her soul and elbow, Snake.Dammit, I did not want "porked" to be turned into a raped-and-left-for-dead scenario. Although the choice of the word "porked".... :/
But soft! What rock through yonder window breaks? It is a brick! And Juliet is out cold.
Teeny hat.
^^ ... G-force crushed them?
"Punching Platypus was from the war-torn country of England. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her kick herself and her family while Punching. Then they glared her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a Platypus came in and killed the soldiers by moonwalking them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the Platypus was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no Platypus. She was consumed by her Punching. Fighting you cleansed her soul and shin, Snake."
... God, I love this thing.
"If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler mustache?" - Yahtzee
Departed days ahead.
Tying Ostritch was from the war-torn country of Molassia. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her kick herself and her family while Tying. Then they hyper-beamed her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a Ostritch came in and killed the soldiers by laughing them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the Ostritch was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no Ostritch. She was consumed by her Tying. Fighting you cleansed her soul and foot, Snake.
Strange minds kick alike.
I guess we could go... wherever we please.
I remember when I discovered that and I just played MGS 4...I already hated the Beauty and the beast due to the unoriganlity of their backstory but when I played with this thing I laughed for hours. anyway here was the first I ever did:
fucking hippo was from the war-torn country of georgia. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her mate herself and her family while fucking. Then they lost her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a hippo came in and killed the soldiers by jumping them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the hippo was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no hippo. She was consumed by her fucking. Fighting you cleansed her soul and butt, Snake.
It's not exactly naive. And it can happen. But it's tough. And definetly worthwhile.
Teeny hat.
"Dropkicking Squid was from the war-torn country of France. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her rage herself and her family while Dropkicking. Then they failed her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a Squid came in and killed the soldiers by thwacking them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the Squid was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no Squid. She was consumed by her Dropkicking. Fighting you cleansed her soul and nose, Snake."
"If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler mustache?" - Yahtzee
Pooping Coelacanth was from the war-torn country of Austrailia. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her lick herself and her family while Pooping. Then they licked her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a Coelacanth came in and killed the soldiers by Flying them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the Coelacanth was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no Coelacanth. She was consumed by her Pooping. Fighting you cleansed her soul and Appendix, Snake
When life gives you lemons, fill the juices up into squirt guns and shoot them at people's eyes.
First Loyalty: Yourself
Shitting Monkey was from the war-torn country of Cimmeria. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her crap herself and her family while shitting. Then they crapped on her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a monkey came in and killed the soldiers by pooing on them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the monkey was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no monkey. She was consumed by her shitting. Fighting you cleansed her soul and butt, Snake.
Embroiled in slave rebellion, I escaped crucifixion simply by declaring 'I am Vito', everyone else apparently being called 'Spartacus'.
Das kann doch nicht sein!
Humping platypus was from the war-torn country of Arulco. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her drool herself and her family while humping. Then they hopped her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a platypus came in and killed the soldiers by freaking them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the platypus was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no platypus. She was consumed by her humping. Fighting you cleansed her soul and kidney, Snake.
People aren't as awful as the internet makes them out to be.
There's this feature at the bottom of this
page, and it lets you recreate the sob stories of the beauty and the beast unit.
Well, I say 'recreate', more like 'take the piss out of the sheer narm '.
Post the results! I got:
"Breakdancing Tortoise was from the war-torn country of Molassia. Her town was invaded by soldiers when she was a small child. They captured her and made her bitchslap herself and her family while Breakdancing. Then they slashed her and left her for dead. Out of nowhere a Tortoise came in and killed the soldiers by dancing them. After the soldiers, it killed some pregnant women. She tried to stop it but the Tortoise was unstoppable. The thing was, though... there was no Tortoise. She was consumed by her Breakdancing. Fighting you cleansed her soul and knee, Snake."
edited 31st Dec '10 1:54:33 PM by SheWhoChewsGum
"If you had to choose, would you save one baby or five old people? What if the baby had a Hitler mustache?" - Yahtzee