How far apart is too far?

Alright. So let me explain a moment.

I'm currently writing a fantasy novel that doesn't deal with the fate of the world or fighting off gods (at least, not in the beginning of the series) it's basically a lower level high fantasy. There's big important stuff going on yeah, setting up the scene for later books, but it's happening off screen.

The two main characters have had an...interesting relationship, to say the least. She killed his wife, except he doesn't know it yet. He hates her guts anyway, and she's got something of a bodyguard crush on him. Eventually he softens up, and I know where I want this relationship to go...

Except he's about 22. And she's maybe 15. Which really is a bigger age gap than I thought about while writing their relationship.

Is he too old for her? Or am I overblowing this?

You can make the age gap as large as you want, so long as it's justified in culture.

Of course, whether the readers will accept it is a YMMV thing, but don't be afraid to paint it differently than the love we find in today's culture.

Depends on the culture of the world, too. Like, old cultures- Middle-Ages Britain, for example- had even larger age gaps than that, and it was considered normal of the time.

That's pretty small to be worried about. You'd have to be doing something like a 30 year old and a 15 year old for it to be questionable. 15 really isn't that young. If they're both consenting, it's fine. And the older she gets, the larger the age gap can feasibly get. She could be 19 and he could be 58 and that could be done perfectly nicely.

Though 15 is borderline loli. Any way you cut it due to the age gap, this is gonna attract YMMV.

Yeah. I'd say you're being very realistic with the age difference (except, he would actually be older in a real Old-World relationship, I think), but the audience is going to base their reaction on their own mores. It's the same reason why stories with Kissing Cousins from cultures that don't outright condemn it (like Japan) tend to be Squick-worthy in the west.

It's more a case of "how old are they when they finally get together?" 22 to 15 — a seven year difference— is a pretty big gap in maturity, as well as being half as long as she's been alive. But 22 to 29 isn't nearly as big, and 35 to 28 would even less eyebrow-raising. If he hates her, the relationship isn't going to turn around in a hurry.

edited 23rd Nov '10 8:26:21 PM by Madrugada

Yeah, seven years is definitely a noticeable gap, but not the worst and depending on the placement would be perfectly fine even in modern-day society.

I'm interested about this 15 year-old loli who's a wife killer tho.

The gap is negligible. Even by today's standards it's not too bad. I'm not sure what the age of consent in most of the world is, but i think it's around 15.

I know couples who are almost 10 years apart, they work fine, and nobody finds them squicky. But then they probably got together later than 15.

As has already been said - if the relationship takes a few years to develop it'll be fine. An 18-year-old and 25-year-old is fine.

Maybe you could age up the 15 year old. If she were 17 it would be much less unusual.

Medieval European Fantasy, right? Girls had to grow up fast in the Middle Ages. It'd even be plausible (if squicky) if she was twelve or younger.

^ But then her being a bodyguard doesn't work at all.

It's a fantasy world, so we know nothing about what skillset a person of her age and gender could employ.

Unless he's going to completely rewrite biology, she will have the body and muscular ability of a child at 12. Plus, she'll probably just be entering puberty, which complicates the situation on two sides.

First, even if she was superbly trained as a child, she's going to be going through at least one growth spurt (and probably several) — a child who doesn't have a gawky, physically awkward stage as their body grows into adult condition is vanishingly rare. And her age is now firmly in a category that's going to increase, not decrease the squicky-ness of the relationship for the vast majority of the audience. 15 might be wink-wink-nudge 'jailbait'; 12 is child molestation. Regardless of what used to be — the audience who is going to read it didn't grow up in the Middle Ages and doesn't have a medieval point if view. (Never mind that there's little solid evidence that actual marriages took place that young for anyone but royalty and even those weren't consummated until the kids were into the mid to late teens.)

Yes — such early marriages were generally to lock in the contract between families, not because they were expected to be having sex and producing offspring that young.

I have a character who's fifteen and going to be having sexual times and I'm worrying that THAT is too young. Perhaps I should make her sixteen, that's more acceptable to most (being a legal age in many states and countries).

edited 24th Nov '10 12:55:26 PM by Morven

Unless he's going to completely rewrite biology, she will have the body and muscular ability of a child at 12. Plus, she'll probably just be entering puberty, which complicates the situation on two sides.

You say this as if fiction has to adhere to rules. Again, since he describes this as a "fantasy setting", there could be any amount of Applied Phlebotinum explanations for why a child could be deadly to adults. Two examples from the DC Universe: Batgirl (who was a trained assassin at 8 years old) and Karate Kid (who is completely human but has an "advanced" form of martial arts that can fight superhumans like Superman). Is it cheesy and highly unrealistic? Yes. Hence the word "fantasy".

edited 24th Nov '10 1:01:32 PM by KingZeal

You can justify it, but it's a strike against suspension of disbelief, so you have to work harder.

Depends on how far into Refuge in Cool, Refuge in Audacity or Rule of Cool it goes.

Personally I think that age gap isn't that bad, as long as you write it right. I remember there was at least one book I've read where there was an age gap, and it didn't squick me.

I should probably find that.

Simple answer on trained child-assassin in a fantasy setting: souped-up magical Tyke Bomb. In fact, since magic means that you rarely have to be a peak physical specimen to be utterly lethal, child-mages would probably be exceptionally useful agents for any faction ruthless enough to use them.

The girl in question is in fact a magic user. And in my world, depending on how naturally gifted you are, you can be ridiculously powerful at a very young age - but she isn't one of them. She's relatively average, especially in combat magic. That lead to the main twist - he's supposed to be protecting her, but she can't take putting him in harms way, so she tends to try to "protect" him by taking on most of the combat. Of course, he death would mean his execution, but she's stubborn like that.

And yeah, maybe I was overblowing it. Relationships take time to develop after all, and when they finally do get together it shouldn't be as squick.

One idea for child-mages is using them because they don't raise as much suspicion as men.

All I can offer is that I think it's her age that's going to make it questionable. Can she be increased to 17 or 18?

@OP: I don't think the age difference will be too hard for people to swallow if it's justified in-culture and the prose doesn't linger too long on the naughty bits. Some people might be offended, but no matter what you do someone's going to get their knickers in a twist over it. Just do what you feel is best and don't make it exploitative and most people should accept it.

And yeah, I find the concept of a 15 year old sorceress who's already a murderer kind of interesting. I'd be interested to read the final product.