Wikipedia's deadpan attitude.

Madrugada Zzzzzzzzzz Since: Jan, 2001 Relationship Status: In season

Zzzzzzzzzz

#151: Oct 19th 2011 at 7:03:02 AM

The whole article on the now-web-only tabloid "WeeklyWorldNews", but this has to be one of the best uses of deadpan humor I've come across:

WWN was also in the forefront of informing the public about alien abductions, the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, and time travel. WWN once carried a story about inhabitants of the planet Mercury who had proposed to establish a colony in San Francisco — presumably they sought a more temperate climate, where lead was generally a solid.

This is a close second:

Numerous stories regarding shockingly obese people and animals made the pages of WWN, the most popular of which being Tonya, the world's fattest cat. After first being discovered, WWN encouraged readers to send in their guesses as to exactly how much they believed Tonya weighed. Weighing in at over 80 lbs, Tonya has been featured being adopted, and possibly sat on by the world's fattest woman. Later stories involved Tonya's attempts to lose weight through the "Catkins" diet, her struggle with anorexia, and claims that she had been eaten by the world's thinnest woman.

...if you don’t love you’re dead, and if you do, they’ll kill you for it.

ToolsOfDestruction Since: Jul, 2012

#152: Oct 25th 2011 at 8:17:09 AM

From the Oblivon (roller coaster) page:

Although regarded as the world's first vertical drop roller coaster, at its steepest Oblivion's drop has an angle of 88.8° as if it were fully vertical it couldn't lift from the bottom of the drop and would splatter on the floor.

Jimmmyman10 cannot into space from polan Since: Mar, 2011 Relationship Status: Armed with the Power of Love

cannot into space

#153: Oct 25th 2011 at 9:44:01 AM

Was reading the Lamest Edit Wars page, and had to quote this:

Hummus: they love it in Israel, so shouldn't it be in Category:Israeli cuisine? Or is it a purely Arab food that the Zionists have illegally occupied?[1] After a related skirmish on Za'atar, the ingredients were listed in alphabetical order, but was this all part of a shrewd Zionist plot? Don't be silly, came the response: and anybody who removes the Hebrew name from the first sentence is a racist vandal.[2] Meanwhile, back at Hummus an attempt is made to replace a mention that the Oxford English Dictionary says that the word entered English via Turkish with a reference to the Greek name for the dish. Finally, Tabbouleh saw action, this time mercifully free of Arab-Israeli connotations; instead, the question was: can we call this dish a part of Levantine cuisine, or is the very term "Levantine" a European colonial plot to divide the great Arab nation?[3] In the mean time, another attempt is made to expunge the Turks from description of the traditional Greek (or maybe Arab) dish of pita (or is it pitta?), while controversy bubbles as to whether a photo of an Israeli falafel house constitutes "Zionism".

Conclusion: Tasty snacks in the Middle East are hilariously politicized. The talk page for Hummus currently states: "The article Hummus, along with other articles relating to the Arab–Israeli conflict, is currently subject to active arbitration remedies".

Go play Kentucky Route Zero. Now.

BlixtySlycat |like a boss| from Driving the Rad Hazard Since: Aug, 2011

|like a boss|

#154: Oct 25th 2011 at 12:32:20 PM

I never knew Regular Show was so politically conscious.

go ahead and do every stupid thing you can imagine

Morven Nemesis from Seattle, WA, USA Since: Jan, 2001

Nemesis

#155: Oct 25th 2011 at 2:52:04 PM

There is literally nothing so obscure or silly that someone won't go to Wikipedia war over it.

A brighter future for a darker age.

Wicked223 from Death Star in the forest Since: Apr, 2009

#156: Oct 25th 2011 at 3:28:25 PM

I feel like taking you up on that challenge, but I already know what'd happen...

You can't even write racist abuse in excrement on somebody's car without the politically correct brigade jumping down your throat!

Merlo *hrrrrrk* from the masochist chamber Since: Oct, 2009

*hrrrrrk*

#157: Oct 26th 2011 at 4:59:57 PM

I found this in an article on John Holmes, the porn star.

He starred at a time when personality could compensate for a lack of other aesthetic characteristics, and a certain amount of acting ability was still demanded of porn stars.

Professionally, it affected his ability to maintain an erection, as is apparent from his flaccid performance in the 1980 film Insatiable.

edited 26th Oct '11 5:04:22 PM by Merlo

Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am...

mrsaturn Youkai Serious Since: Jan, 2001

Youkai Serious

#158: Oct 29th 2011 at 12:00:34 AM

Switching elevators, getting too near the ceiling (or under the elevator) or the counterweight (or cables), or otherwise failing to follow safety precautions can lead to death or injury, which tends to inconvenience both the individual at fault and the hacking "community".

edited 29th Oct '11 12:01:37 AM by mrsaturn

They assed first. I am only retaliating in an ass way. -The Dead Man's Life

occono from Ireland. Since: Apr, 2009

#159: Nov 28th 2011 at 1:30:58 PM

Wow.

Dumbo

jewelleddragon Also known as Katz from Pasadena, CA Since: Apr, 2009

Also known as Katz

#160: Jan 12th 2012 at 11:07:15 AM

From Software Versioning: "The developers also humorously joked that they skipped version 4 because "nobody wants to see a Winamp 4 skin", referencing the foreskin of a penis."

betterthanstrawberry Dreaming out loud. from back in the atmosphere. Since: Sep, 2010

Dreaming out loud.

#161: Jan 28th 2012 at 6:11:49 PM

Thoughts?

Equipped with his five senses, man explores the universe around him and calls the adventure Science.

chihuahua0 Since: Jul, 2010

#162: Jan 28th 2012 at 6:28:01 PM

The Emu War, also known as the Great Emu War,[1] was a nuisance wildlife management operation undertaken in Australia over the latter part of 1932 to address public concern over the number of emus said to be running amok in the Campion district of Western Australia. The attempts to curb the population of emus, a large flightless bird indigenous to Australia, employed soldiers armed with machine guns

There's no kill but overkill there's no kill like no...

Zyxzy Embrace the mindscrew from Salem, OR Since: Jan, 2001

Embrace the mindscrew

#163: Jan 28th 2012 at 7:38:45 PM

I remember when the losses for that were "O Emus - Dignity"

What's the frequency Kenneth?|In case of war.

occono from Ireland. Since: Apr, 2009

#164: Feb 5th 2012 at 7:29:32 PM

http://occono.tumblr.com/post/17133522639

Dumbo

lolacat Dead? You thought wrong from Vancouver Island Since: Mar, 2011

Dead? You thought wrong

#165: Feb 5th 2012 at 7:30:22 PM

Seeing all these piss ant tropers trying to talk tough makes me laugh. If Matrix were here, he'd laugh too.

feotakahari Fuzzy Orange Doomsayer from Looking out at the city Since: Sep, 2009

Fuzzy Orange Doomsayer

#166: Feb 5th 2012 at 10:19:46 PM

^^ What really amuses me is that they cite a scholarly text for that.

edited 5th Feb '12 10:20:18 PM by feotakahari

That's Feo . . . He's a disgusting, mysoginistic, paedophilic asshat who moonlights as a shitty writer—Something Awful

Zahaele Getting dunked all day from Omaha, NE Since: Jan, 2012

Getting dunked all day

#167: Feb 17th 2012 at 5:28:46 AM

"The conflicts, in which vendors raided one another's vans and fired shotguns into one another's windscreens, were more violent than might typically be expected between ice-cream salesmen."

From wikipedia's page on The Glasgow Ice Cream Wars.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. And also spiders.

jewelleddragon Also known as Katz from Pasadena, CA Since: Apr, 2009

Also known as Katz

#168: Feb 19th 2012 at 8:40:07 PM

Image caption: "A young adult male sporting a Jewfro."

YamiiDenryuu Since: Jan, 2010

#169: Feb 20th 2012 at 6:33:55 AM

And right below that: "A curly-haired Hadendoa Beja warrior with a fuzzy-wuzzy hairstyle". Fuzzy-wuzzy?

Deboss I see the Awesomeness. from Awesomeville Texas Since: Aug, 2009

I see the Awesomeness.

#170: Feb 20th 2012 at 9:24:41 PM

But he has hair?

Fight smart, not fair.

TotemicHero No longer a forum herald from the next level Since: Dec, 2009

No longer a forum herald

#171: Feb 21st 2012 at 8:25:37 AM

Moe anthropomorphism is a gold mine:

Girls modeled as passenger jets are also common.

The very nature of such games, however, puts the main characters in unusual situations when the sex scene happens — such as essentially "having sex with the washing machine".

Elements of the Japanese constitution have been anthropomorphised into moe girls, such as Article 9, which prevents Japan from waging war, "is portrayed as a peace-loving girl."

edited 21st Feb '12 8:25:46 AM by TotemicHero

Expergiscēre cras, medior quam hodie. (Awaken tomorrow, better than today.)

YamiiDenryuu Since: Jan, 2010

#172: Feb 21st 2012 at 11:54:00 AM

That last one sounds kinda adorable...

NEO from Qrrbrbirlbel Since: Oct, 2009 Relationship Status: GAR for Archer

#173: Mar 10th 2012 at 4:06:04 PM

For the weekend of May 21–23, 2010, Google changed the Google logo on its homepage to a Google Doodle of a fully playable version of the game[80] in recognition of the 30th anniversary of the game's release. The game featured the ability to play both Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man simultaneously.[81] After finishing the game, the website automatically redirected the user to a search of Pac-Man 30th Anniversary.[82] Companies across the world experienced slight drops in productivity due to the game, estimated to be valued at the time as $120,000,000 (approximately €95,400,000; £83,000,000).

No regret shall pass over the threshold!

mrsaturn Youkai Serious Since: Jan, 2001

Youkai Serious

#174: Mar 11th 2012 at 9:48:19 PM

Quellcrist Falconer

is the pen name of a fictional political activist/revolutionary often referred to in the Takeshi Kovacs series by Richard K. Morgan. She was born on Harlan's World, a planet settled via needlecast of stored personalities and clone banks sent conventionally through space[citation needed].

They assed first. I am only retaliating in an ass way. -The Dead Man's Life

CDRW Since: May, 2016

#175: Mar 12th 2012 at 1:03:01 PM

Elements of the Japanese constitution have been anthropomorphised into moe girls, such as Article 9, which prevents Japan from waging war, "is portrayed as a peace-loving girl."

Can I pleaz has that for American constitution?

Back Top

Total posts: 190