YMMV / Seanbaby

  • Crosses the Line Twice: Plenty of examples.
    Instant Happy Notes: I think this situation calls for karaoke.
    Seanbaby: If the tiny enslaved children making these knew what they said, they'd know they deserved every second of everything.
  • Dude, Not Funny!: His JonBenét Ramsey joke was regarded by many as crossing the line.
  • Funny Moments: Self-described, in this case:
    "Once, while I was working as a writer for some now-cancelled MTV cartoon, the topic of Phil Collins came up. Another writer at the table asked, 'What does 'Su-Su-Sudio' even mean?' And, as I'd waited for my entire life, I responded with the best Phil Collins joke I've ever written: "That's what a normal song sounds like when you sing it with balls in your mouth."
    • How about when he reviewed Custer's Revenge:
    Custer: "Gentlemen, you are the bravest squadron of men it has ever been this Southerner's privilege to serve with. And you will need that bravery today, as your orders are to remove my pants and underpants. I will then attempt to force sex on an Indian girl under heavy enemy fire. Are there any questions?"
    Custer's Military Adviser: "Yes, general. Several."
    • Anytime he takes on Gregory J.P. Godek and his awful romantic advice books. This basically sums it up:
    Godek's Advice: Pretend you're vacationing foreigners who don't speak English. Have fun asking directions and ordering in restaurants while pretending not to understand English.
    Seanbaby: Let me tell you about the hatred I have for Godek. He writes like it's the side effect of a stroke. He is so witless and humorless that 83 of his puns have charged him with rape. When he and his wife get naked, they're more pizza than flesh and that's not even why birds try to kill them. My hate for him is so personal, so vivid... and I earned that sweet hate over the course of a dozen of his fucking dumbass books. So I'm especially pissed off that there's a waiter out there watching him pretend to be a German tourist, and in five seconds he'll hate Godek more than I ever can.
    • Seanbaby's introduction to the absymal NES game Total Recall (1990) by Acclaim on Broken Pixels:
    (in exaggerated Arnold-esque Austrian accent) "AHM RANDY QUAID BY ACCLAIM! GET ME TO MAHS, AHM RANDY QUAID!"
    • His Twitter treatment for a sequel to the Jean-Claude Van Damme hit Timecop, starring JCVD as TimeCop, along with JCVD as nearly everyone else, too. Here's a sample:
    You growl, pouring beer over cereal as if to say, Im a hungover cop. The beer is from 1217 because youre a hungover TIMEcop.
    • "Do you really 'make the best Brussels sprouts,' or do you just ruin bacon a couple times a year?"
  • Moment of Awesome: He once scared Uwe Boll out of a boxing match after telling him he practiced muay thai and Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and that he's 6'3. He wasn't kidding.
    • The main image on his website shows him posing with Mr. T.
    • And Sean's 100th-article retrospective has a shot of him having a beer with Uwe Boll! Seanbaby notes that Boll didn't even try to take a swing at him.
    • Any of his homemade fireworks articles, but especially his last one (to date), which ends by showing an old karate trophy that survived a pyrotechnic extravaganza that reduced everything else in it to smoldering ash:
    Third place my fucking ass.
    • Pretty much anyhing he writes turns out to be one, with his poetically vulgar one-liners, so much so that he's been compared to William Shakespeare. One of his more notable ones was "I will replace your life with spiders." Yeah.
  • "Seinfeld" Is Unfunny:
    • At least a few Cracked.com readers accused Sean of ripping off other writers on the site, even though Seanbaby has been funny on the internet since 1997, and many of those said writers openly cite him as their chief inspiration.
    • In his review of Renegade, he snarked that "there just weren't any other games involving guys walking around and fighting bad guys on the street." Renegade was pretty much the Trope Maker for the belt-scrolling Beat 'em Up, and at the time, there really weren't any other games like that.
  • Squick: In his article about living on a farm, he describes milking a cow as feeling like you're "squeezing hot snot out of a fat woman's flaccid penis."