YMMV: Imma Wiserd

  • Accidental Innuendo:
    • when i wuz alssep i saw da man wit da blak cape and da blak coat. dere was a snake coimg out of da front a himself.
    • da loins were cummin towards me.
      • The Quidditch match also contains gratuitous amounts of this.
    "NOT B4 I PUT A BAL IN UR HOL" sed a slithrin.
  • Big Lipped Alligator Moment: Where to even begin?
  • Canon Defilement:
    • Hermione gets a particularly bad case of this, as she is totally fine with taking a back seat to the male characters. She has a pink vacuum cleaner as a Patronus and carries a sewing kit around.
    it wuz... HERMAN!1111 "TAK DAT MUTHAFUKA" she sed.
    • Dumbledore not only swears, but seems remarkably flippant in regards to the safety of his students.
    "weres draco?" sed herman. "o he almost died" sed da dumbledoor. "but da best part is every1 on da sliteryn teem died."
    • Almost nothing in this story comes remotely close to resembling the Harry Potter universe. Even the spells have been substituted for a chaotic & inconsistent system that effectively revolves around literal use of the English language, without any indication of how wizards can speak sentences without inducing a mass of effects on the space around them.note  And that isn't even starting on the anachronisms in the story!
  • Crowning Moment of Funny: This gem from Chapter 5:
    "he went ova to da closet an opned in. an out came... A KLUKKLUCKSKLANMAN!1111"
  • Gary Stu: "Turtle" manages to fight "Vadermort" and be placed in an advanced class within his first few days at Hogwarts.
  • So Bad, It's Good