YMMV: Imma Wiserd
- Accidental Innuendo:
"NOT B4 I PUT A BAL IN UR HOL" sed a slithrin.
- when i wuz alssep i saw da man wit da blak cape and da blak coat. dere was a snake coimg out of da front a himself.
- da loins were cummin towards me.
- The Quidditch match also contains gratuitous amounts of this.
- Big Lipped Alligator Moment: Where to even begin?
- Canon Defilement:
it wuz... HERMAN!1111 "TAK DAT MUTHAFUKA" she sed.
- Hermione gets a particularly bad case of this, as she is totally fine with taking a back seat to the male characters. She has a pink vacuum cleaner as a Patronus and carries a sewing kit around.
"weres draco?" sed herman. "o he almost died" sed da dumbledoor. "but da best part is every1 on da sliteryn teem died."
- Dumbledore not only swears, but seems remarkably flippant in regards to the safety of his students.
- Almost nothing in this story comes remotely close to resembling the Harry Potter universe. Even the spells have been substituted for a chaotic & inconsistent system that effectively revolves around literal use of the English language, without any indication of how wizards can speak sentences without inducing a mass of effects on the space around them.note And that isn't even starting on the anachronisms in the story!
- Crowning Moment of Funny: This gem from Chapter 5:
"he went ova to da closet an opned in. an out came... A KLUKKLUCKSKLANMAN!1111"
- IF U FLAM UR RASSIST
- Gary Stu: "Turtle" manages to fight "Vadermort" and be placed in an advanced class within his first few days at Hogwarts.
- Narm: Whenever Turtle dies seemingly.
- Also when he goes to heaven & visits god... who turns out to look like 50 Cent in a robe.
- Nightmare Fuel: The baby eating for some.
- So Bad, It's Good