Web Video / Jojo.png - The Polnareffland Saga

Jojo.png - The Polnareffland Saga is a collection of text-to-speech comedy Youtube videos by dankbidoof taking place in the JoJo's Bizarre Adventure universe, mainly focusing on characters and events from Diamond Is Unbreakable and Golden Wind. The series depicts the sequence of events that causes Jean Pierre Polnareff to realize his dream of having his own amusement park, the titular Polnareffland.

The Polnareffland Saga consists of five videos:

• If Okuyasu actually used Za Hando: A Fix Fic depicting how Part 4 would have went if The Hand wasn't held back by Okuyasu's stupidity.
• Passione Training Video: A parody of The Krusty Krab Training Video where Giorno Giovanna is inducted into Passione.
• If Fugo actually used Purple Haze: A Fix Fic depicting how Part 5 would have went if Fugo was more liberal with his virus.
• If Polnareffland was real: An original story where the casts of Part 4 and 5 get invited to Polnareff's amusement park opened with the help of Passione after the end of the previous video before it officially opens. Hilarity Ensues.
• The Villains go to Polnareffland: An original story that acts as a follow-up to The Polnareffland Saga. The main antagonists from up to part 8 go on a field trip to Polnareffland to enjoy themselves, but things aren't quite as they appear.

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The Polnareffland Saga contains examples of the following tropes:

• Adaptational Badass: Okuyasu can (somehow) move within stopped time in If Polnareffland was real. It's Played for Laughs, as it's ultimately a Funny Background Event.
• Adaptational Heroism: Keicho Nijimura joins the heroes after getting saved by his brother.
• Adaptational Intelligence: In JoJo canon, the main weakness of the The Hand and its extremely powerful erasure ability is Okuyasu's lack of planning. If Okuyasu actually used Za Hando removes this flaw, allowing Okuyasu to use his ability to the fullest.
• Adaptational Superpower Change:
  • Talking Head's power is changed to forcing the target to speak a different language, something Lampshaded by Tiziano when he states "That's not what my ability does."
  • The World becomes capable of channeling the vampiric Vaporizing Freeze through its punches in The Villains go to Polnareffland after Dio steals the stand disc from Pucci and his future self.
• Ambiguous Situation: The exact nature of Polnareffland in The Villains go to Polnareffland. Diavolo is there as part of his death loop, past Dio and Kars think it's All Just a Dream, and the other characters (aside from Wonder Of U) are shown to remember their canon deaths and theorize that Polnareffland is their own personal hells, but nothing is confirmed.
• Backing Away Slowly: Polnareff and Diavolo against Team Buccarati (who have mistaken Polnareff for an enemy) and Wonder of U (who just creeps Diavolo out), respectively.
• Brick Joke:
  • At the start of If Fugo actually used Purple Haze has Narancia excitedly assume Gold Experience is capable of creating dinosaurs. He gets to shout "I fucking told you he could do that!" after Giorno turns the out-of-control Road Rollercoaster into a T-Rex in If Polnareffland was real.
  • Near the start of The Villains go to Polnareffland, Diavolo recalls a death loop where he is on a plane and while he expected it to crash he gets fatally stung by a bee instead. At the end of the video following the big fight, Diavolo suddenly gets stung by a bee again.
• Capitalism Is Bad: Played for Laughs in The Villains go to Polnareffland. Funny Valentine explains the economic system to past Dio off-screen, the latter then confusing the former by declaring it a "devilish idea" that could be used to defeat JoJo.
• Death by Adaptation / Dies Differently in Adaptation: The kill counts of the if X actually used Y videos are as follows:
  • If Okuyasu actually used Za Hando
    • Red Hot Chili Pepper gets the motorcycle pulled out of reach before he can even attempt to escape from Team Josuke, and gets completely obliterated in a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown. By extension, this also kills Akira, his user.
    • Yoshikage Kira is erased on the spot after the Sheer Heart Attack incident.
  • The Passione Training Video has Melone get labelled a traitor after annoying the narrator with his Di Molto!ing, resulting in his death before Part 5 technically begins.
  • If Fugo actually used Purple Haze
    • After arriving in Capri, Fugo ambushes Sale with his virus, killing the gangster before he gets a chance to react.
    • Fugo and Narancia lock Formaggio in a car with Fugo's virus, defeating the Incredible Shrinking Man without a fight.
    • Fugo scares Talking Head out of Narancia's mouth, where it is swiftly slain by Purple Haze. By extension, this kills Tiziano.
    • Averted with Carne himself, but Fugo's precaution of tossing his virus on Carne's body kills Notorious B.I.G.
    • Ciocolatta has Fugo's virus dropped into his helicopter by Aerosmith before Narancia blows it up. Shortly afterwards, Secco gets an off-screen Curb-Stomp Battle when he tries to ambush Team Buccarati.
    • The biggest one is Team Buccarati VS Diavolo. Giorno turns some of Fugo's capsules into birds that Diavolo attacks, reversing the damage to the boss and reverting the birds back into virus capsules. Narancia and Mista break the capsules, infecting Diavolo. Fugo taunts Diavolo, telling his boss that killing him might negate the virus. Diavolo falls for it, rushing Fugo, but bounces off of a patch of ground booby-trapped by Spice Girl into an open zipper prepared by Sticky Fingers. Diavolo gets one last punch off at Fugo before falling in, only for it to turn out that his target was Moody Blues acting as a decoy.
• Destruction Equals Off-Switch: Subverted. One of the attempts to stop a roller coaster the gang is stuck on has Sex Pistols hit the controls with one of Mista's bullets, which fails.
• Dramatic Red Samurai Background: One appears when Funny Valentine gets shot through the head by Past Dio's Space Ripper Stingy Eyes in "The Villains go to Polanereffland.
• Enemy Mine: DIO and Pucci are opposing forces in the fight in The Villains go to Polnareffland (both believing the other to be an imposter), but decide to work together anyway to defeat Kars. After the Ultimate Being is finished, Pucci steals DIO's discs in turn.
• Evil Versus Evil: The second half of The Villains go to Polnareffland is an all out battle royale amongst the characters. The fight ends with the survivors being Wonder Of U, who the other fighters have no way to beat, and Diavolo, who never bothers going after him and eventually gets lethally stung by a bee instead.
• Foreshadowing: In The Villains go to Polnareffland, Diavolo notes that not once in his death loop has he ever died in a Stand battle. When the fight breaks out, Diavolo ends up being the last human standing.
• Half Way Plot Switch: The Villains go to Polnareffland starts comedically with the characters hanging out in the various attractions similarly to the previous episode, but once the other characters remember their deaths and Diavolo accidently causes Wonder of U to take out the Road Rollercoaster, it becomes a full on battle royale until the ending.
• Improperly Paranoid: When Polnareff contacts Team Bucciarati right before the climax of If Fugo Used Purple Haze, Fugo assumes the incredibly convenient phone call from a mysterious person is a trap. His logic is sound, but it ultimately results in the mobsters beating up a genuine friend.
• Insult Backfire: Abbacchio attempts to demean Giorno by revealing Purple Haze's power to him in an attempt to make him feel outclassed. To Abbacchio's annoyance, Giorno instead completely agrees with him, genuinely praising Fugo's abilities.
• In Spite of a Nail: Despite Fugo killing Notorious B.I.G before it can get on the plane, the plane crash it causes still happens because "Moody Blues replayed a terrible pilot"
• Literally Shattered Lives: In "The Villains go to Polnareffland", Past Dio kills Pucci by using Whitesnake to get The World and then stops time to freeze Pucci, sending him flying and shattering when time resumes.
• Obfuscating Disability: Maybe. As Joseph tells Bucciarati stories about his past, the gangster has trouble getting across some of his questions to the hard-of-hearing Joestar... only to get caught off guard by the old man predicting his next line after "mishearing" one statement too many.
• Oh, Crap!: Polnareff slowly wheels away upon realizing Team Bucciarati thinks he's an enemy.
• Properly Paranoid: Bucciarati borrows one of Fugo's virus capsules in If Fugo actually used Purple Haze on a hunch, saving his life when Diavolo attacks him to get to Trish.
• Ridiculously Human Robots: In appearance, anyway. Polnareffland uses blood-filled Chariot Requiem robots in the haunted house, and they're so lifelike that Okuyasu, Mista, Josuke, and Sex Pistols think they committed murder when Okuyasu bisects one of them after getting jumpscared.
• Running Gag: In If Polnareffland was real.
  Fugo: I'll use my virus to (extremely risky and/or stupid idea)
  Everyone except Okuyasu panics
  Fugo: It's a joke.
• Shout-Out: When Phantom Blood Dio asks Stardust Crusaders DIO about his build, DIO claims a training regiment of "push-ups, sit-ups, and plenty of blood."
• Spared by the Adaptation: With Adaptational Intelligence in effect, the following characters get a happier fate than they did in the original story:
  • If Okuyasu actually used Za Hando has Okuyasu directly save his brother by pulling him out of Red Hot Chili Pepper's grasp, and Kira's early death saves Aya Tsuji and Kosaku Kawajiri from the serial killer's Kill and Replace.
  • If Fugo actually used Purple Haze has Fugo's intervention save every member of Team Buccarati who died in Part 5. Bucciarati was able to scare off Diavolo with a virus capsule, preventing himself from getting fatally wounded, Abbacchio escapes death after Fugo rescues the children's ball from range (preventing Diavolo from ambushing Abbacchio), and the new climax means Diavolo never gets a chance to kill Narancia at the coliseum. To a lesser extent, Polnareff never loses his physical body, and in fact reclaims his lost limbs thanks to Gold Experience.
  • The trope is referenced by Scolippi in The Stinger of If Polnareffland Was Real, who notes that "[he] never died in this timeline"^note This might be a case of Cowboy BeBop at His Computer, as he did not die in normal Jojo canon, and in fact couldn't die in his part of the story.
• Story-Breaker Power: The main point of If Okuyasu actually used Za Hando and If Fugo actually used Purple Haze are showing how easily several situations could be solved if the two extremely powerful stands weren't held back.
• Why Don't You Just Shoot Him?: The fight against Ciocollata in If Fugo actually used Purple Haze has Fugo suggest dropping a virus capsule from Aerosmith's bomb compartment to kill their opponent. Narancia questions why they don't just use Aerosmith's bombs, with Fugo replying that there's no real reason. He's just mad Ciocollata is ripping off his style.