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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff
Sweet Bro died in the first strip and Hella Jeff is insane.
Sweet Bro died after he fell down from the stairs in the first strip. Seeing the death of his best friend drove Hella Jeff to insanity and he started to live in a imaginary world where his friend was still alive. However, due his insanity, nothing in the imaginary world of Hella Jeff makes sense (Thatīs the reason of the art style and the weird dialogues of the webcomic) and Hella Jeff constantly mistreats the imaginary Sweet Bro because he knows that his "friend" isnīt real.

Sweet Bro had a brain tumor in the past.

His tumor was successfully removed, but it took some of his mental functions (and most of his motor skills) with it. Much of his face is paralyzed, locked into a permanent sneer. He has difficulty going down stairs, giving hugs, pouring milk, and even placing objects into cabinets. His view of the world is distorted, he finds it difficult to speak and comprehend others speaking, and his life is forever dulled. He still retains enough brain function to know who he once was, and just how much he has lost.

Hella Jeff is his "friend", who spends most of his time taking advantage of/mocking the disabled Bro. This includes laughing at Bro when he has difficulty putting away objects, refusing to get up from the couch to aid Bro in descending staircases, and making constant crude jokes about Bro's lamentable state.

In his dreams, Sweet Bro rides skateboards through brick walls in the sky. But only ever in his dreams.

  • This just made it so sad now, someone should fanfic this.
  • Or maybe he's just stoned. (Er, "stooned".)

SBaHJ takes place in a universe created as a result of the Homestuck kids' SBURB session

Because why not?
  • In which case the Big Man is clearly the planet's First Guardian.
  • Jossed: Pre-Scratch kids did not create a universe, opting for theirs to be scratched instead, and the post-Scratch session is so fucked up it can't be won nor scratched. Presumably so the characters would concentrate on defeating villains.
  • Uh, no it's not Jossed. The Pre-Scratch kids brought the Forge and their Battlefield, which they can use in the Post-Scratch session to create a universe still.

The church episode is an allegory for the state of Christianity, specifically why/how it split into so many denominations over the years
It starts out with both praying together, with the same beliefs in the same God. Then Bro (Catholicism) notices that Jeff (every other denomination) is praying differently and tries to correct him, believing that his path of prayer is the right path and that Jeff's is wrong and offensive. Bro tries to correct Jeff, who resists and continues to pray his way, and this struggle over whose belief methods are right continues ad nauseum for gog knows how long, continuously infuriating Bro yet further and causing him to invoke Jesus's name as if playing the "Jesus is on our side" card. Bro even indicates dismissal of homosexuality and belief that it's a bad thing, much like the Catholic Church.

The church episode is God, speaking to us through JPG artifacts.
There is something going on close to the end of the comic, after the panels become unreadably small and littered with artifacts, just before they collude and form some kind of hyper-artifacts. It's some kind of pattern that's clearly beyond human understanding. I think I can see something resembling words.

There will be a Hostile Show Takeover
It will be the worst one ever. Alternatively, it will be the funniest one ever.

Hella Jeff is a Propsit dreamer
That's why he knew about the stairs. He saw it in the clouds of Skaia.

The whole comic is full of references to Nietzsche

The Eternal Return is a thought experiment: considering our Universe is cyclical and reboots at the end. Or, to put it with Stylistic Suck: IT KEEPS HAPPENING.

Thus, we can decide what has happened in the infinite previous iterations. The Will to Power is tied to this. Or, in other words: where doing it man. where MAKING THIS HAPEN.

Oedipus is also recurring in Nietzsche. The Parental Incest scene in the second comic symbolizes this.

Remember everything is linked to Homestuck, where You Can't Fight Fate is a major plot point.
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