WMG: Hogfather

WMGs for Discworld / Hogfather. Warning: Potential unmarked spoilers.

Teatime's eye is missing because he cut it out himself.
Either he was planning from the beginning to replace it with a magic prosthesis or he was trying to emulate Odin Blind Io, as in this fanfic.

Young Teatime received a Red Ryder carbine-action 200-shot range model crossbow for Hogswatch and promptly shot his eye out.
It is A Hogswatch Story, after all.
  • He blames the Hogfather for it. That's why he came up with the plan to kill him.

The things popping up around UU was because of the High Energy Magic Building.
The Belief surplus only had an effect because of the HEM experiments making reality weaker (from the inside, rather than making it thinner like when the things from the Dungeon Dimensions can break through). Otherwise, it would have just made everything else (with the possible exception of Bilious) a little more real, rather than a few things around UU (and one thing where the Hogfather went missing) a lot more real.
  • In Soul Music, Ridcully mentions that wizards tend to be the first ones affected by weirdness like Music With Rocks In or the excess life in Reaper Man, so it might be more a property of wizards than the HEM experiments.
  • The series portrays Unseen University as stuffed with magic long before Ponder Stibbons graduated, so it probably isn't a consequence of the HEM experiments specifically. It does likely have a bit to do with reality being thinner at the university, though, just on a more generic level than what Ponder Stibbons has been up to. It probably is a combination of the high concentration of magic at UU weakening reality (easier for things to be brought into being) and the Soul Music-noticed tendency for wizards to act as canaries when it comes to reality getting wierd (odd - even non-magical odd - kind of things tend to happen to them early).

Nothing happened to Teatime's eye(s), he was just born that way.
Just saying.
  • He couldn't have been born with a glass eye. It's even mentioned (briefly) that he lost it in "some unknown accident", whatever that means.
    • That would raise even more interesting questions about that "special marble" that Gawain found in the fireplace.

Teatime's final intent wasn't to inhume Death...
It was to use the destruction of Death to get to Azrael, and truly kill death/Death.

The Little Match Girl died shortly after.
Death was cheating with presents by stealing things from other people; but "Hogfather magic" is determined by the monetary bracket that they are in. The Little Match Girl had no money. He CANNOT break the rules here. This is part of the series mythos itself, the only exceptions were the princess in Mort, who Death called in favors from all the gods (Something he couldn't duplicate for Ysabell and Mort in Soul Music), the girl in Reaper Man who Death exchanged his Lifetimer for, and Rincewind. None of these cases apply. There is no justice.
  • She died a few days later because of pneumonia. Perhaps Nobby was able to find some doctor (or vet) who was able to give some kindness to her before she died.
  • Granny Weatherwax might have been able to use a story to save her. (She did save that one baby from Death by roleplaying Elisha). Perhaps she could have made the self-righteous king give true charity instead of finding some peasant and shoving food into him. (and lecture him about the difference.) Death simply used the King as a Take That moment; which didn't accomplish anything.
    • Whether or not angels were there to comfort the Match Girl, her grandmother was. There is no justice. There is just us.
  • Death can't give people more time in his capacity as Death. Who knows what rules apply as to what the Hogfather can, or can't, award as a present? As for the economics factor, who says that life's value equates with monetary value? Only the Assassins' Guild, and by their standards the life of some poverty-stricken little girl might rate about the same as an apple and a crudely-carved wooden toy, so it's a fair transaction.

Hex owes his consciousness to this novel's events.
  • Prior to this novel, Hex was only a machine, albeit one that was becoming good at simulating intelligent thought. If UU hadn't become saturated with spare belief, it would have stayed that way: able to calculate and analyze, but not imagine or feel. However, around the time all those lares and penates and oh gods started to manifest, the level of spare belief became high enough to latch on to how Ridcully and the other senior wizards kept anthropomorphizing Hex, with even Ponder calling it "he" sometimes. The excess belief coalesced into a true consciousness, much like the various fairies and imaginary creatures created that night, and took up residence in the thinking engine's structure. Because everyone's kept right on treating Hex like an individual — the moreso, once he started crying if his FTB wasn't enabled — their belief in Hex-as-conscious-entity kept him that way, even after the Hogfather's return.

Teatime planned to kill death to take over his job.
  • In Mort, Mort has a duel with Death, with him wielding the sword. Therefore, the sword is theoretically capable of defeating Death. Teatime may have wanted to defeat Death to take over his job, and he was inspired by none other than Susan's father.

The story begins with the scariest creatures in the universe attempting to kill Santa. Along the way, a skeleton (referred to a few times as "skellington") puts on Santa's outfit, the police are called in when Santa appears to have been replaced, people attempt to analyze items scientifically to discover the beauty in it. Children play an important role in stopping the villain and restoring Christmas, as well as providing the foundations of existence for the Boogeyman.

But Hogfather seems to take the opposite viewpoint to TNBfC - where in the latter Christmas was shown as sacrosanct and not needing any changes, in the former problems like Christmas Creep and over-commercialization can be solved by a little Halloween thinking.

Teatime removed his eye and replaced it with a scrying glass.
If Teatime's eye is a magical artifact, it might actually be a sort of scrying glass, which would give him insight a little ways into the future, and given that he is fond of planning ahead...

Teatime was actually kind to girls as a child.
Teatime doesn't really react to much of Susan's mind-break speech except when Susan mentions him picking on girls. (He sort of flipped out for a second there, and it probably had to do with him actually being kind to girls when he was young.)
  • Susan didn't say he'd picked on girls, she said he'd looked up dolls' dresses.

Peachy (or Sideney in the TV adaptation) is still alive.
The nightmare that came after him was the Scissor Man, and that particular childhood bogey doesn't actually kill children, it just cuts off their thumbs so they can't suck them anymore. Assuming he managed not to expire from sheer terror, he would've been left maimed, not dead.

The Hogfather didn't actually skip Nobby's house when Corporal Nobbs was growing up.
Even though they were dirt-poor, young Nobby and his brother Errol should at least have received the minimal stocking-stuffers of, say, an apple and a crude wooden toy. However, we know from Night Watch that Nobby's father Sconner was willing to steal even a spoon from his own son, so most likely their Jerkass dad was coming home in the wee hours from a night of crime and/or boozing each Hogswatchnight, and emptying his boys' stockings in order to eat or pawn the contents himself.

It's Albert's fault that the Oh God of Hangovers manifested where he did.
All the other lares and penates became embodied at Unseen University, due to the localized ambient magic levels and thin reality quotient. Bilious, for no reason Susan could determine, appeared at the Hogfather's Castle of Bones instead. This wasn't merely because it's where the Hogfather ought to have been - as Susan herself noted, he shouldn't have been there on Hogswatchnight - but because it's where Death stopped to drop off the sleigh and send Albert home before going to advise Susan in her confrontation with the Auditors. To get Albert back to his own pocket reality, Death had to cancel the effect that'd held "pixie Albert"'s time suspended for Hogswatchnight, using up one or two of his servant's dwindling supply of seconds in the process. And, while Albert's honorary-pixie status had made him capable of downing more than a million sherries without exploding that night, once the effect was dissipated for those few precious seconds, the cumulative impact of those sherries - i.e. the single biggest hangover in Discworld history - slammed down on that old man for an instant. It's that which attracted the Oh God of Hangovers to manifest on that particular spot, albeit earlier chronologically than the actual mega-hangover poor Albert brought upon himself, much as the Glingleglingleglingle Fairy appeared before anyone actually wondered about him.