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Video Game: Legend Of The Seven Paladins 3 D
This isn't going to end well...
"Get ready to have your fucking mind blown. Alright, you see this shit? See this shit? I'm walking... Watch how fast you get buttfucked. And then, fucking crazy bitches! Yeah, the problem is, they forgot to change the rate at which the enemies can fire. So you get buttfucked in about three seconds."

—Let's Player Azurite Reaction in this video.

Legend of the Seven Paladins 3D, also known as Rock 'n' Shaolin, is a Doom clone First-Person Shooter DOS game made by Accend Inc. It is rife with faulty programming and was never released, although there are demos floating around. The game moves extremely fast, and both you and the enemies move and fire at very high speeds. There are many enemies in the game who all fire at you very quickly, making the game practically unplayable. You die very often and very quickly.

The plot involves stopping the Chinese mafia.


This video game provides examples of:

  • Computers Are Fast: The reason why this game is so hard and broken.
  • The Computer Is a Cheating Bastard
  • Everything Trying to Kill You: The game is crawling with enemies that move and fire at lighning speed.
  • Fake Difficulty: The game is very broken and runs extremely fast. Both you and the enemies run and fire at lightning speed, and it's so fast that most people can't keep up with it. It's practically unplayable for this reason.
  • First-Person Shooter: It seems to be very similar in gameplay to Doom.
  • Game Over: "Developed by ACCEND INC". Send all complaints to these bastards.
  • The Many Deaths of You: The enemies fire all kinds of stuff at you, and you can die from falling into lava.
    • Interestingly enough, you might actually survive longer sitting in a pool of lava where the enemies are unlikely to see you than out in the open, since they fire so fast.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Applies to whoever is responsible for programming this monstrosity.
  • Unwinnable by Mistake: It may fall into this category unless you're Chuck Norris and have insanely good reflexes because the game is so fast.
Legendary: The BoxFirst-Person ShooterMagic Carpet

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