DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MONITOR. THIS IS NOT A TEST. THIS IS NOT A WARNING. THE FOLLOWING MESSAGE IS ENCODED WITH A SUBLIMINAL MEMETIC MANIPULATION SOFTWARE. PLEASE STAND-BY AND AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS.
Ever wondered if the Deep State was real? Well it is—and you're on your way to a fulfilling career serving the Shadowy Overlords who run the world!
Hi! I'm Trope-tan, Moe Anthropomorphic personification of Trope Co.®, the real ruler of the world. Are you surprised? Rhetorical question. We already knew you already knew that Trope Co.® were the real masters of the universe. We can still see the String Theory billboard hanging up on your wall through your computer's camera. To be more accurate, the Shadow Government™ is but one of an infinite number of products Trope Co.® provides. NATO runs the world, the Shadow Government™ runs NATO, Trope Co.® runs the Shadow Government™. Chicken. Egg.
Well while we have your attention, we would like for you to sign a waiver acknowledging our sovereignty over the copyright that is you and your DNA.
ENTER YOUR NAME, AGE AND SOCIAL-SECURITY NUMBER ON THE DOTTED LINE BELOW. YOUR INTERNET HISTORY IS ALREADY BEING SCANNED, TESTED, INQUIRIED AND SOLD TO THIRD-PARTY SOCIAL MEDIA COMPANIES FOR FUTURE AD-REVENUE. WE ALSO ALREADY KNOW YOUR NAME, AGE AND SOCIAL-SECURITY NUMBER AND WE HAVE THE AUTHORITY TO CHANGE IT WHENEVER WE FEEL LIKE IT. THIS IS JUST A CURTESY TO MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE SOME SMALL MEASURE OF POWER OVER YOUR MEANINGLESS LIFE.
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Excellente. Now that that's all cleared up, let's get to the ad.
The Trope Co.® Shadow Government™ is the #1 provider in entangled webs of intrigue and scapegoating. We control global financing, all voting machines, the weather, the ocean, the moon and at least half of the Hemsworth Brothers. We can't divulge which half we own. That's classified.
Join the Shadow Government™ today and you will be wealthy, untouchable, can start any war you want, topple dynasties on a whim. All you would have to lose is your self-respect, any connection with your family, what little trust you have left in anyone or anything and what's left of your humanity.
