An elf for every color and occasion.
From the makers of Our Angels Are Different™ and All Trolls Are Different™ comes a new line of magical creatures that can help your humans bring culture and art to these magic-infested wilds. It's Our Elves Are Different™!
- High Elves: You want The Beautiful Elite™ to be better than you in every possible way? Why not make them all stronger, faster and immortal too? Yes, with High Elves™ you can fill your ruling class with impossibly beautiful men and women sculpted from marble and gifted in all manner of warfare and the arts. You want to win every argument? Simply agree with everything the High Elves have to say and you'll be right every time! You Can't Argue with Elves, so why fight it?
- Wood Elves: Are you a Romantic who just wants to get away from Modernity and Industry? Try our tree-hugging Wood Elves™! Enjoy your stay at our Hidden Elf Village™ and participate in their humble community. Expand the gene pool during the Fertility Festival. Bake cookies in their tree houses. Visit the shaman and learn Plant Magic! With our Wood Elves™, you'll have every Green Aesop diatribe memorized in your head within the week!
- Sea Elves: Come spend your summer vacation at the sunny beaches and the coral-encrusted Underwater City of the Sea Elves™! They've got mermaids, dolphin-rides, lightning-embued tridents and the best sushi this side of Wutai!
- Snow Elves: Are the other elves too sissy and invasive? You want a real survivor? The Snow Elves™ are the elves for you. Visit them in the Grim Up North as they wrestle bears, hunt mammoths, hike mountains, cross the ocean by freezing it with Ice Magic and enjoy the strongest honeymeade you will ever taste at their Longhouse lodge and ski resort!
- Christmas Elves: Want to see how it's all done at the North Pole? In Santa's workshop, you can see how all of the magic of Christmas happens with the Christmas Elves. See them make their toys, bake cookies and sing their merry songs. They love doing it with no breaks. Anyone who doesn't like doing it has nowhere to go, so they may as well put on a happy smile, do a merry jig and get back to work! No, really, they like getting the whip! It keeps them motivated!
- Space Elves: Did you think that humans were the ones who invented space travel? You wish. For your Science Fantasy story, try our new line of Space Elves™! With Space Elves™, humans can go farther than they ever have before because they couldn't have done anything without the help of elves of any kind! Nope. Humans need the Elves. They just know science more. Space Elves™: Elves IN SPACE!
- Dark Elves: You want your elves with some edge? Do you find other elves insufferable and unrelatable? Is your world a Dark Fantasy story? Try our Dark Elves! With Dark Elves, you can wallow in Grimdark with their Goth fashion, nihilistic philosophers and Death Metal ballads as they swear their loyalties to the nearest Evil Overlord. Join The Dark Side; they also have cookies!
Please keep different breeds of Our Elves Are Different™ separate lest Fantastic Racism occurs. If your elves have defects like horns, four fingers, and facial markings, they aren't returnable.
