Are you looking for the perfect way to reveal the Pimped-Out Dress your Fairy Godmother just made you? Were you raised as a peasant, found out you were Royal Blood, and need to present your now dressed up self to the people? Are you an Evil Overlord who prefers to present yourself in front of frightened masses instead of waiting on your throne? Do you want your Incoming Ham moment to have that extra touch of Melodrama? Do you need a good way to have your music video introduce the lead singer? Are you a celebrity who feels that walking down a red carpet isn't quite grand enough?
Then call Trope Co.®, and we will provide you with your very own Grand Staircase Entrance!
Using subtle telepathy and visual cues (we've mastered the art of the Dramatic Spotlight that doesn't look like one), we can draw the attention of the crowd to you. We even make sure all noise in the area stops at the right moment, to let people know that something important is happening.
Now what if the stairs doesn't match the effect you're trying to achieve, or what if there aren't any stairs available? Well for the former we can use limited area reality warping to change the appearance, and for the latter we can pull one out of nowhere using our patented Hammerspace technology. And in both cases, we have weirdness censors hidden around the crowd so they don't focus on the sudden staircase change/appearance instead of your arrival.
We can also add as many effects to your entrance as you need. For the terror effect, we can add steam, smoke, and ominous shadows. For the grand effect, we can add flattering lighting, or strobe lasers, or a shadow to emerge from.
Now this product is only effective when done with non-moving stairs. We've tried repeatedly to get the same effect with escalators and elevators, but those simply do not impress crows as much. Fortunately there are alternatives, like skydiving or slowly rising from a large trapdoor.
Do not worry about tripping and falling down the stairs. Not only do we employ compensators to muffle Murphy's Law, we also have doctors standing by just in case.
