Sophia thinks that she and Gleb are a couple now... and Gleb isn't exactly happy about it. He thinks that it would be better to just straight up tell her as is, and then find another way to deal with suicidal tendencies. But when Kupitman states that at this point, he's too afraid to prohibit her anything, Gleb realises that they may ask someone who has no such fear: Bykov. Gleb proceeds with his plan, and starts kissing Sophia right in front of Bykov, who hates such open demonstrations of feelings during working hours, resulting in Bykov forcibly separating them for the rest of the day. Sophia insists on ignoring Bykov's orders, and starting dating in secret. In fact, she finds them defying everyone who tries to separate them — be it Kupitman or even Bykov — very romantic. Gleb doesn't think so, but can't admit it to Sophia. Gleb tries to ask Bykov to "allow" him dating Sophia, to at least restore status quo, but Bykov refuses to take part in that mess, even after explanation, and threatens to severely punish Gleb if he would bother him with this again. Sophia overhears the last part of their conversation, and takes it as a sign of Gleb fighting for their love, and gives him a long, passionate kiss. Kupitman comes up with another plan: Sophia likes her new life, full of action; Gleb must deprive her of that, by becoming very boring: nothing excising, nothing romantic, just dry, boring routine; it's killed more relationships than Kupitman can count. Gleb suggests to go to Kupitman and watch hokey together. When Sophia states that she's more interested in sex, Gleb realises that he found the weak point, and asks whether she is more interested in sex than in Gleb as a person. To show that she isn't, she agrees to watch hockey... and falls asleep halfway through.
Alexei needs characteristic for himself: if it would be good, he would receive stipend from Torzhok (even if painfully small). Since he can't trust Bykov, he wrote something by himself. Lyuba considers what was written by him being "lame", and offers to "improve" it. Alexei then tries to ask Bykov to sign it up, but Bykov decides to "verify" every point in the list — and rejects them one by one, as "false", in maximally rude and insulting manner, replacing each good trait with one or two bad ones. Lyuba suggests Alexei to just ask Kisegach to sign it rather than Bykov: technically, she's his boss, too, even if not direct one. But when Lyosha tries to smuggle his characteristic to Kisegach, he gets busted by Bykov, who proceed with another round of replacing what was written by Alexei with his insults, and, when confronted about knowingly writing in shameless lies, accuses Alexei of doing the same. But he agrees to give Alexei last chance: if he writes something that Bykov would like, he would be allowed to send it; otherwise, Bykov would call to Torzhok himself and read up from the paper all what's written on it. But when Alexei tries to create a new characteristic which Bykov would consider fair, he fails to prepare anything but empty paper — which Bykov actually considers good enough to sign up, as it perfectly showcases his point: Alexei is like that empty paper, who needs lots and lots of work before he would become anything more. As long as Alexei remembers that lesson, he can write in whatever he wants. To Bykov's disappointment, Lyosha completely misses his point, as he tries to make Bykov sign up another paper, "just in case he screws something up".
Kupitman needs Phil's signature to confirm the fact that Phil had a safety briefing... just formality, no one really cares or bothers to make this briefing for real. No one, but Phil, who refuses to sign anything until said briefing occurs for real: he is tired of Russian irresponsibility. Kupitman, after explaining that no briefing is possible due to the man responsible already retiring to free some budget, suggests to just ask Kisegach to appoint Phil on this position. Phil refuses, fearing that he would not change anything, while simultaneously making himself a perfect scapegoat if something happens. Unknowingly to him, Kisegach actually relied on him accepting this position, since no one else would be thorough enough to deal with it. But Kupitman has a plan "B": just press Phil into accepting this position anyway; he knows how — by hiring Lobanov as new fire safety manager; just seeing Semyon in this position would freak Phil out enough to volunteer. But Phil still refuses. But when Phil notices that the scheme of evacuation routes hangs upside down, and realises just how bad Semyon at his new position really is — and that unless he does something, Lobanov would doom them all. Phil goes to Kisegach just by the time when Kupitman ordered Lobanov to proceed with plan "C" — actually start fire to set off the smoke detectors — and it's too late to call him off... Now, Phil must fix the fire safety systems in the whole hospital within one week. Great job on "saving some money", Kisegach.
This episode provides examples of:
- Accentuate the Negative: Bykov demonstratively disregard all positive traits in Alexei's (self-written) characteristic, while adding many negatives ones, often shoehorned:
- Alexei comes to work earlier than he's supposed to do? Cross the point "punctual", because it's not what the world means. Didn't take phonendoscope with him when they went to a patient, because he didn't expect that he would need it? Cross the point "forethoughtful", and insert "bad memory" and "weak mind". Failed to find help with transporting a "corpse" (actually disguised Bykov) to the morgue? Cross the point about team's respect.
- Later, Bykov starts acting outright mean. He asks a medicine-related question, only to give no time to answer whatsoever, and then states that Alexei is "slow-thinking" — only for Alexei to immediately answer, after which Bykov adds "poor theoretic knowledge" to the list, and then adds "low self-confidence" when Alexei tries to correct himself, after which Bykov revealed that his first answer was actually correct one. And when Alexei calls him out on this... Bykov calls him a whiner!
- When Alexei tries to smuggle another copy of his characteristic to Kisegach, Bykov (who's in the same office) busts him and provides some more negative traits to his "characteristic": Alexei tries to fool his boss (Lyosha's attempt to ask Kisegach), lies to his boss (Bykov correctly guesses that Lyosha claims the credit for someone else's plan), backstabs his colleagues and hides behind women (Lyosha admitted that it was actually Lyuba's plan).
- Bad News in a Good Way: Discussed by Kupitman and Kisegach. When Kupitman suggests to just ask Phil to take position of a fire safety manager directly, Kisegach rejects it as being too awkward, considering how disproportionate salary would be to the amount of responsibility would be put on Phil. Then Kupitman suggests an idea how they can do it.Kisegach: What would I say? Phil, take this pain in the ass for two thousand roubles a month?
Kupitman: You can say it in a different way. Like, "Phil, take this prestigious mission for five thousands roubles a month".
Kisegach: Had I have those five thousands, I would think whom to appoint. But I need Phil, and I need him for two thousands.
Kupitman: Then we must just press him hard enough.
Kisegach: And you know how?
Kupitman: [Gives her his best smug smile] - Batman Gambit:
- Kisegach tries to trick Phil into accepting the fire safety manager's position, via the plan which relies on Phil reacting in certain ways;
- Kupitman (and Kisegach, who sent him) expected that, when he learns that the man responsible for fire security was fired, Phil would volunteer himself, out of sense of duty. Plan fails, because Phil realises that they wants not the guy to solve the problem, but the guy whom they may punish for it, and sticks with initial Kupitman's request (just putting his signature on the list, whether briefing really occurs or not). Fortunately, Kupitman has a plan "B".
- Kupitman's plan "B" involves putting Lobanov into this position, as absolutely worst candidate possible, in hope that Phil would freak out and volunteer to replace him. Phil still refuses, forcing Lobanov to improvise some small disaster... only for Phil to suddenly accept right after Semyon proceed with Kupitman's plan "C", which costs Kisegach much more than just offering Phil more money right away.
- Gleb knows that Bykov hates open demonstration of feelings during working hours (especially kissing, which he considers "un-hygienical" ). So, when Gleb kisses Sophia right in front of Bykov, Bykov reacts just like Gleb expected — by forcibly separating them for the rest of the day.
- Kisegach tries to trick Phil into accepting the fire safety manager's position, via the plan which relies on Phil reacting in certain ways;
- Big Damn Kiss: When Gleb's attempt to ask Bykov to let him date Sophia (to restore status quo by killing that Star-Crossed Lovers vibe which Sophia finds romantic) goes bad, Sophia takes it as a sign of Gleb fighting for their love. Cue long, passionate kiss (initiated by her).
- Brutal Honesty: When Lobanov asks whether they asked him just because they can't think of anyone worse, Kisegach tries to sugarcoat it, while Kupitman flat-out tells that yes, he is the worst possible candidate, and that's why they need him.
- Cutting Corners: Kisegach's attempt to save money on fire safety manager kickstarts Phil's plot; since she fired the guy who hold this position (while officially he remained in the list of stuff members), but still needs someone to at least nominally being registered as one, she tries to trick Phil into this position. When he refuses, expecting that she needs not an inspector, but someone to blame if things goes bad, she tries to use Lobanov, knowing perfectly well that everyone would consider him to be worse than having no one at all. It works, but not before Lobanov causes some disaster, forcing Kisegach to put all money she "saved" to replace fire safety (which turns out to be broken).
- "Eureka!" Moment: When Kupitman states that he fears to prohibit Sophia anything after how their previous attempt ended, Gleb realises that they may ask Bykov instead — he would certainly not have fear to prohibit anything, while doing it in such a manner that Sophia would be angry rather than sad.
- Exact Words: Alexei needs his boss' signature on his characteristic. While Bykov is his direct boss, Lyuba thinks that Kisegach's signature would work, too, since she is Bykov's boss — which makes her Lyosha's boss by proxy.
- Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap!: Kisegach congratulates Kupitman on a great plan of using Lobanov to scare Phil into accepting position of the fire safety manager, just to put Semyon away from this position... and then remembers that they ordered Lobanov to set some fire as the last ditch attempt to scare Phil (which turned out to be unnecessary, but they forgot to call him off when they still had a chance).
- Gone Horribly Wrong: Gleb's new plan how to get rid of Sophia involves him exploiting Bykov's aversion to open demonstration of feelings by provoking him into prohibiting Gleb and Sophia from dating on-duty. It backfires because now Sophia thinks that them continuing dating makes it even more romantic. Then Gleb tries to restore status quo by asking Bykov to lift this rule — only for Bykov to refuse to be a part of it, which causes Sophia to think that Gleb actually fights for their love (due to hearing only the part of the discussion).
- Honesty Aesop: Bykov refuses to sign Lyosha's (blatantly fake) characteristic until he gives up and delivers empty page, which he readily signs. At this point, he says that Lyosha is "tabula rasa", empty paper, and it's up to him to fill himself up. When Alexei, who just got a permission to write in anything (characteristic is just a formality), asks him to sign another page, "in case [he] screws up", Bykov realises that Lyosha got nothing.
- Am I Just a Toy to You?: Invoked by Gleb (who wants to avoid any intimate relationship with Sophia, to whom he feels nothing); when Sophia reacts to him suggesting to watch hockey together by saying that she's more interested in sex, Gleb asks her whether she is more interested in sex than him as a person — forcing her to accept (painfully boring for her) invitation to save some grace — and falling asleep.
- Imagine Spot: When Phil finds a scheme of evacuation routes being placed upside down, he realises just how bad Semyon would actually be at his new job. He imagines the fire finally happening — only for all fire extinguishers being empty, the sole escape route being closes and sealed, and Semyon himself being first one to run away. Then a patient with his gypsum-covered leg being set aflame shows up, and Phil snaps, starting screaming like a little girl "we all gonna die!"
- Internal Reveal: Alexei only now learns that Sophia and Gleb are (presumably) in relationship.
- Lethally Stupid: Invoked and {{Exploited|Trope}], as part of making Phil accept the position of fire safety manager:
- Kisegach and Kupitman exploits Lobanov's reputation as the dangerous moron to trick Phil into offering himself as the new fire safety manager: they simply can't find anyone worse than Semyon, considering his infamous (lack of) intellect and long history of disregarding safety rules. Semyon actually feels insulted by them treating him like this, but agrees nonetheless when offered money. Kisegach actually tries to sweet the insult somewhat, while Kupitman flat out says that yes, they do consider Semyon to be absolutely worst candidate, and they all know it.
- Semyon is not that dumb by now, but exaggerates his stupidity to press Phil into accepting the position of fire security manager, as part of his role. Like, bringing him the empty fire extinguisher, writing up the open windows as "evacuation route", and suggesting to stick smoke detector with some glue. Then he puts the scheme of evacuation routes upside down, at which point Phil snaps. Unfortunately, this happens too late for Kupitman to call off the plan "C", which involves Lobanov actually starting fire.
- Out of Focus: Maxim is absent from this episode.
- Out-of-Context Eavesdropping: When Gleb tries to ask Bykov into lifting his order (which prohibits Gleb and Sophia from dating, making Sophia thinking that they are now Star-Crossed Lovers, which she finds romantic), Bykov refuses. Sophia overhears the last part of this conversation, and takes it as a sign of Gleb fighting for their love, which she finds even more romantic. Considering that Gleb wants to get rid of Sophia, this is a problem.
- Promoted to Scapegoat: Phil thinks that position of the fire safety manager would be used to have someone to blame in case something happens, not to actually make the hospital safer, and rejects offer to become one himself, thinking that it's a trap (and very low-paid one at that).
- Serious Business: Inverted. No one but Phil cares about security briefing; everyone else just signs up the document to confirm that yes, they did receive said briefing, considering this being the simple formality and unneeded bureaucracy — all so they can fire the man responsible for said briefing, freeing some budget. When Phil still insists, Kupitman suggests him to just volunteer himself for that position... which Phil refuses, thinking that they are trying to lure him into position of the dedicated scapegoat, without actual authority or even decent salary. Unfortunately, Kisegach relied on Phil accepting this position, precisely because he takes this role seriously, requiring a plan "B".
- Star-Crossed Lovers: When Gleb lies that he was disappointed by Bykov forcing them to stay away from each other, but states that they have no other choice but follow Bykov's orders, Sophia actually calls this "romantic" — they are together, against all odds and all attempts to separate them. This is... not exactly what Gleb tried to achieve.
- Wham Shot: Alexei busts Gleb with Sophia just before they leaves the hospital, and learns that they are in relationship.
