Season 2, Episode 3:
There Is No Escape
This week's play is a 1970s prison break drama. Billy Wheeler is jailed in an Indiana penitentiary, looking into the murder of his wife Angela in an investigation into corruption in the system. After discovering proof that the Warden was involved, Billy decides to escape, with the aid of Stu Malone, the architect of the prison, and Old Wallace, an elderly inmate wanting to come home for his daughter’s birthday.
This time, Executive Meddling forces the production to replace all knives with spoons, Annie's costume turns out not to be so muscular, the narration and the props have trouble appearing at the right time, and Robert brings his niece Lucy on as a guest, taking special care to ensure that her performance meets his standards of good.
"There Is No Escape" contains examples of:
- Accidental Pun: A few are made by the Warden and Mick the Muscle in the former’s office, which has only been partially lowered down.
- Bowdlerise: As the BBC has instituted an anti-knife crime policy, all knives in the play have to be replaced with spoons. It leads to some awkwardness when a character needs to get stabbed or brandish a weapon.
- Brick Joke:
- Sandra ends up swallowing the Captivity Harmonica after Annie pats her too hard on the back. The second half of the ending credits theme has her sing the melody with the harmonica still audibly stuck in her throat.
- When Chris has to recite Stu Malone (Vanessa)'s last words after everyone has escaped, he repeats the awkward improv Vanessa gave when the narration cue was accidentally replayed.
"Prison... prison is... we're in prison!" - Canon Foreigner: Robert decides to try and reduce Lucy’s part by adding the role of Timmy to take over for her. Chris’s angry response indicates he’s done this before.Robert as "Timmy": Waah, Daddy, waah! I'm a sad little boy!Chris: Stop adding characters!"Timmy": (as he is dragged offstage) I have to go, apparently I don't exist.
- Can-Crushing Cranium: Mick the Muscle (Annie) attempts this after snatching a soda can from Chris. Interestingly, it goes wrong not because Annie isn't suited to playing a tough, muscular character (as established by only being able to do a single push-up earlier), but because the soda machine malfunctioned, forcing her and Chris to mime the can.
- Captivity Harmonica: Rex (Sandra) plays one during his introductory scene. Unfortunately, when Mick the Muscle (Annie) gives Rex a pat on the back, Sandra ends up swallowing the instrument. As a result, for the rest of the episode, the harmonica keeps making noise whenever she speaks.
- Everyone Has Standards: Chris takes umbrage to Robert micromanaging Lucy’s performance.
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Fake American: Again the Cornley cast tries pulling off their best American accents to match the play's setting, and again some are more decent than others. - iSophagus: Sandra ends up with a harmonica stuck in her mouth, creating a musical backing every time she talks.
- Lame Last Words: After Stu is 'stabbed' to death in the prison shower by Mick and Rex, Vanessa has to improvise new dying last words to Chris after the narration cue is accidentally played twice.Chris (Billy): I'm gonna make them pay for this...Chris (narration): Then he looked at me, and said his last words.Vanessa (Stu): No, Billy. You got to be better than them, or no matter how far you run, you'll never be... free... (dies)Chris (narration): Then he looked at me, and said his last words.Vanessa (Stu): (wakes up; stammers) P-prison... prison is... we're in prison. (dies again)
- Large Ham: Annie has to shout her lines over the machine inflating her fake muscles, resulting in an extremely overblown delivery."HA HA HA! GOIN' SOMEWHERE, BILLY WHEELER?"
- Pop-Cultural Osmosis Failure: Robert seems to think that Star Wars is about a boy growing up, becoming a villain and murdering his father. Max also knows little about the movies beyond Samuel L. Jackson being in them.note
- Running Gag:
- This time, Jonathan is stuck in a phone box throughout the performance.
- Robert declaring everything a “twist”.
- The narration audio cues being played at the wrong time.
- Dennis misinterpreting the stage directions for his part as a bird.
- Robert, as the Warden, trying to call for "LIGHTS... OUT!" in the cell block, only for the stage lights to remain on.
- Towards the end of the play, the sets start getting catastrophically mixed-up, such that the set the cast is currently acting on is actually that of the next location they need to visit... and then, when it actually comes time for the characters to visit said location, the set is quickly hoisted up and replaced with the next one in spite of their protests.
- Seinfeldian Conversation: After Robert, who'd only skimmed his lines from the script, forgets what his character's motivation is supposed to be, the dramatic confrontation with the Warden quickly breaks down into a long, meandering out-of-character discussion about the play's plot which somehow segues into the plot of Star Wars, before Chris is able to clear up everyone's confusion and get the scene back on track.
- Shout-Out: The sign on the Warden's door gives his name as Stephen E. Kingston, a clear nod to the play's obvious spiritual inspiration.
- Sinister Switchblade: Attempted. A few scenes in the script call for Mick (Annie) to use one of these to look intimidating, but due to the BBC's anti-knife crime policy, it has to be swapped out for a switchspoon.
