- Date First Aired: 24/01/1994
Whilst Brittas is away on a sailing holiday, Carole finds a sight as rare as a unicorn. Colin... cleaned up and in a blazer.
Duh-duh-duuuuuh!!
As she is pondering the wonder, Gavin comes along with a copy of Plaything, an explicit magazine where people can send in their saucy photos. Carole has also gotten a kitten for Ben, believing it to be helpful for him. A young blonde Tasmanian woman comes in looking for the Manager, who she believes to be Colin. Some prodding from Laura reveals that the girl is Colin's daughter, who she has never met. Apparently, Colin has been lying to her not only that he's the manager but that he's trained the British Ice Figure Skating Champions, invented the inflatable running shoe, presented a regular spot on Breakfast TV called Ask Colin and wrote a series of historical thrillers under the pseudonym "Ennis Peters", with the intention of wanting her to be proud of him. He thus wants Laura and the rest of the staff to Maintain the Lie.
Unfortunately, stuff is complicated when Brittas comes by the centre to return a pen he accidentally brought home. At the same time, Julie finds that the Plaything magazine contains a photograph of Helen. Helen is horrified and wants it gotten rid of. Brittas stays for a little while to check on the boiler and finds a kitten stuck there. He locates the kitten's owner to Carole, who lies (up to eating cat food) that it's not hers. Brittas thus uses the opportunity to take away the kitten, much to her sadness.
Laura tells Gavin to get rid of the magazine. Unfortunately, Brittas notices him before he can do so and gives him a stern talking to. At the same time, Brittas finds out that Colin has been impersonating him. The rest of the staff try to pass it off as their attempts to improve his self-esteem by role-playing, but the truth is eventually revealed. As this is going on, Helen removes the explicit photo of her and stuffs it into what she thinks is her coat. Brittas is not pleased with Colin's actions, believing that lies bring nothing but trouble. However, he is eventually convinced to play along. Colin and Stephanie head off, and Brittas decides to return Carole's kitten. Unfortunately, Helen finds that she has the kitten instead of the photo, having put it into the wrong coat, and runs off in a bid to retrieve the photo before he finds out.
Tropes in this episode:
- Absent Animal Companion: Carole gets a pet cat called Biggles in this episode, which Brittas confiscates. However, although Brittas has a change of heart and intends to give it back to her, it never appears again.
- The Ace: Colin presents himself as this in his letters to Stephanie. Apparently, he's found time to train the British Ice Figure Skating Champions, invent the inflatable running shoe, present a regular spot on Breakfast TV called Ask Colin and write a series of historical thrillers under the pseudonym "Ennis Peters". The staff take the lie further, with Julie claiming that he's given her mother money to have a cataract operation and Linda claiming that he pays to allow a bunch of orphans to swim at the centre.
- Bland-Name Product: Plaything is this to Playboy, being a magazine where readers can send in sexually explicit photos.
- Blatant Lies: Carole's attempts to hide from Brittas that she has a cat, which involves trying to pass off cat food as Ben's breakfast... whilst clearly being disgusted by eating it, and trying to pass what is clearly a litter tray as the children's sandbox.
- Call-Back: Stephanie's existence was briefly alluded to back in "Temple of the Body".
- Continuity Nod: One of the pictures that Colin has put up in Brittas' office is of him shaking the Duchess of Kent's hand. Laura is genuinely shocked upon seeing it - fitting, as she was trying to revive her friend Michael at the time.
- Credits Gag: The final shot of the credits (a shot of Brittas holding up Colin's nameplate) is edited so that the nameplate instead reads "Mike Stephens" (the producer and director for the episode).
- Cute Kitten: Biggles, the pet kitten that Carole has in this episode.
- A Day in the Limelight: For Colin, revealing that he has an illegitimate daughter and having the plot revolve around his attempts to impress his daughter by impersonating the manager.
- Dog Food Diet: In order to maintain the lie that she doesn't have a pet cat, Carole willingly eats cat food. Her expression afterwards suggests that she really didn't enjoy it.
- Dramatic Irony: Brittas talks to Gavin about how a dirty magazine is bad as it would have somebody's daughter or somebody's wife etc, unaware that the copy he is holding contains a photo of his wife.
- Faint in Shock: Colin's reaction when he finds out that Brittas now knows that Colin is impersonating him.
- Felony Misdemeanor: Apparently, Brittas considers the theft of paperclips from work to be just as bad as fiddling with your taxes.
- Fictional Document: Plaything, an explicit magazine that contains a naughty photo of Helen.
- Fiery Cover Up: Laura and Helen ask Gavin to burn the explicit magazine so that Brittas doesn't find out about it. Unfortunately, Brittas finds out before he can do so.
- He Cleans Up Nicely: The usually Gonk Colin cleans up himself to maintain the lie that he is a leisure centre manager and actually looks rather decent this episode.
- Literary Allusion Title: The episode title is a reference to the Biggles series of books.
- Maintain the Lie: Colin tells his daughter he is the manager of the leisure centre. When she comes to visit, the other staff attempt to maintain the deception and eventually a sympathetic Brittas even joins in.
- Noodle Incident: Gavin finds several items from the lockers which are said to have come from "the Saga outing", but he doesn't elaborate further on what exactly this outing entailed.
- Not So Above It All:
- Laura may be the Only Sane Woman of the cast, but even she struggles to suppress her laughter at the sheer absurdity of Colin's plot to impress his daughter.
- Brittas may not believe that lies are good in any capacity, but when Stephanie reveals how much of an inspiration he is to both Colin and her, even he caves in and keeps the lie going.
- Office Romance: Stephanie came about as a result of a brief affair between Colin and one of his work colleagues at Sunderland.
- Offscreen Crash: When Brittas reveals to Colin that he's still in the building and is now aware of the staff's scheming, Colin can be heard crashing from his chair off-screen.
- Oh, Crap!: Helen, upon realising that Brittas has her photo from Plaything.
- One-Shot Character: Stephanie and Biggles the Cat.
- Pen Name: Colin pretends his is Ennis Peters.
- Playboy Parody: Gavin comes across a dirty magazine named Plaything, which is clearly meant to be based on Playboy. Hilarity ensues when the magazine turns out to contain a naughty photo of Helen Brittas, which she tries to hide from her husband.
- Road Apples: Carole manages to brush over cat poop whilst trying to pass off a cat litter box as a sandpit. Naturally, she claims that it's actually a toffee which had fallen in.
- Similar Item Confusion: At the start of the episode, Carole is clearly unsure of whether the breakfast she has put down for Ben is actually it or the identical-looking cat food she had laid out for Biggles.
- Shout-Out:
- Carole's cat is named after Biggles.
- When told about Colin's sudden change, Laura calls it a case for the Three Marys.
- Stephanie uses a variation (taken from one of Colin's letters to her) of the famous line of John F. Kennedy's inauguration speech ("Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country"), although modified to refer to leisure centres instead.
- Slippery Slope Fallacy: Part of the reason why Brittas hates lying so much. To him, what starts off as seemingly harmless lies such as lying to the police that you were speeding turns into major ones like fiddling with your taxes or taking paperclips from work.
- Troll: Julie briefly decides to mess with Colin by claiming to see Brittas nearby after telling him that Brittas is in the building.
- Unknown Relative: Before this episode, none of the staff had any knowledge that Colin has an illegitimate daughter named Stephanie at all.
- "Well Done, Dad!" Guy: Colin's motivation for pretending to be a Leisure Centre Manager - he simply wanted his daughter to be proud of him for something that he had achieved.Colin: I just wanted her to be proud of me. I wanted her to think that her dad had done something with his life.
