Lavender
Ted is surprised to learn that Higgins has hired Dr. Sharon for the rest of the season, although he tries to hide his displeasure. He goes to Sharon's office and attempts to ingratiate himself with her, but she sees through his aggressive cheerfulness and identifies it as Ted's way of disarming people. She asks permission to observe training, which Ted grants. Ted goes to Rebecca's office and vents about Sharon. He and Rebecca agree that therapy is pointless because talking about your issues is what friends are for; then they both claim that there is nothing bothering them that they want to tell each other about.
Jamie is eliminated from Lust Conquers All and learns that Manchester City does not want him back. His agent tells him that no club wants to sign him after he flaked out on Man City at the start of the season. Seemingly his only career option is to hop between reality TV shows, which Jamie does not want to do. He asks Keeley for advice, and she tells him to talk to Ted. Later, Roy catches Keeley masturbating to his retirement press conference, during which Roy embarrassed himself by getting very emotional. Keeley tells him that she finds it hot because it shows Roy being passionate and vulnerable, and he hasn't been like that since he retired. She once again encourages him to take the pundit job with Sky Sports, since she knows he misses football and this would let him be around the game again. Roy reluctantly agrees to try being a pundit. Despite his protests, he ends up enjoying the job.
Jamie approaches Ted at The Crown and Anchor. He confesses that he is struggling and asks if Ted would consider letting him rejoin Richmond. He also admits that he quit Man City and did Lust Conquers All because he was tired of his dad criticizing his performance after every match. Ted is sympathetic, but tells Jamie that he thinks bringing him back to Richmond would be a bad idea. However, photos of Ted and Jamie begin circulating on Twitter, which convinces the Richmond players that Ted is bringing Jamie back. The next day, all of the players are upset about the thought of Jamie returning, Sam most of all. Sam calls out Ted for bringing Jamie back without talking to the team about it, but Ted tells him that he turned down Jamie's request to return. Sam apologizes and says that his father is glad Ted is coaching Richmond, because it makes him feel like Sam is in safe hands.
Ted calls a meeting of the Diamond Dogs. He tells them that talking to Sam reminded him that not everyone is lucky enough to have a great father, and maybe they have given up on Jamie too quickly. Nate and Beard vote against bringing Jamie back, feeling that he will ruin morale; Higgins votes in favor of the idea. That night, Dr. Sharon shares her observations from training with Ted: the team has a wonderful atmosphere, but the fact that they're winless with eight straight draws is cause for concern. She tells him that she hopes he sits down for a session with her sometime. At training the next day, everyone is surprised by the arrival of Jamie, once again in Richmond gear. Sam casts a betrayed look at Ted, who averts his eyes.
Tropes featured in "Lavender" include:
- Artistic License – Geography: It's snowing at the end of the episode, yet it's established that we're still only eight games into the Championship season, which would put the date somewhere in mid-to-late September. Suffice it to say that snow in London at that time of year would be extremely unlikely.
- Bait-and-Switch: When Roy walks in on Keeley masturbating, it's implied she's watching footage of Jamie because she ran into him in her previous scene. Luckily for Roy and the viewer, it was actually Roy's tearful retirement speech that had turned her on.
- Break the Haughty: Jamie learning that no club wants to sign him due to his selfish prima donna attitude visibly shocks him, and finally spurs him on to try and improve his attitude.
- Brick Joke: At the start of the episode, Ted asks Dr. Sharon what her favourite book is as part of his attempt to get to know her. At the end of the episode, she abruptly declares it to be The Prince of Tides.
- The Cameo: Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby play themselves in the opening scene, interviewing Jamie on their real-life TV show "This Morning".
- Call-Back: Jamie drops the green army man by Ted's dinner as a way of saying hello.
- Can't Move While Being Watched: Spoofed. On the training ground, Ted feels that Dr. Sharon is moving closer and closer up behind him while he is not watching. If you look closely, Dr. Sharon does in fact move a few seats closer between each camera cut.
- Caught with Your Pants Down: When Roy comes home after his girls' team loses, he walks in on Keeley masturbating in bed to a video on her phone (which turns out to be Roy's emotional retirement speech).
- Crossing the Burnt Bridge: Upon being told by his agent that no top-tier team (England or elsewhere) is interested in signing him, Jamie ends up back in Richmond after pissing off pretty much everyone there the first time around. This is part of the reason why Ted is hesitant to re-sign him at first, as he tells Jamie that he "burned a lot of bridges back there".
- Didn't Think This Through: Jamie quitting football for reality TV turned out to be this as he never considered how hard it would be to be accepted back, especially after making himself look even more like an abrasive jerk with his sleeping around and other behavior and burning too many bridges.
- Foreshadowing:
- When discussing his father's abusive behavior, Jamie asks Ted if his father was as bad, and Ted says that his father tended to be harder on himself than he was on others. In the later episode "Man City", Ted reveals to Dr. Sharon that his father committed suicide when he was a teenager.
- Nate makes the point that Jamie's bullying behaviour could upset team morale only to cut himself off to berate Will. Whilst played for laughs, it serves to highlight that Nate is heading down a dark path.
- Hypocritical Humour: As the Diamond Dogs discuss the prospect of Jamie returning to Richmond, Nate makes the point of Jamie's disruptive behaviour being potentially damaging to team morale as they can't have someone belittling everyone in the team, only to cut himself off to scold Will over his work.
- I Do Not Like Green Eggs and Ham: When the idea of becoming a Sky Sports pundit is brought up again, Roy continues to insist that he'll hate it, and eventually relents just to prove to Keeley how bad the idea is. When he actually goes through with it, however, he realises that Keeley was right about how much he missed the game, and seemingly agrees to do it on a regular basis. Even better, his blunt, frank attitude proves an immediate hit with the viewers.
- Let's See YOU Do Better!: After Ted gently critiques Sam's passing during training, Sam (who's upset with Ted in the belief that he's bringing Jamie back to the club) bluntly asks Ted whether he thinks he can do better. Ted admits that he can't, but this isn't enough to pacify Sam and he storms off.
- Lonely Piano Piece: Plays early on when Jamie is down after having learned that Manchester City don't want him back.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: The reality show Jamie was on is clearly based off of Love Island.
- Not So Above It All: Doctor Sharon eventually relents and lets Ted call her "Doc". She also admits that her favorite book is The Prince of Tides.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Sam has always been one of the nicest players on the team, so seeing him snap at Ted and storm off the training ground really hammers home how upset he is at the idea of Jamie returning to the club. Lampshaded when Ted assures Dr. Sharon that Sam isn't normally like this before chasing off after him.
- Reality Show Genre Blindness: Though sleeping around is encouraged on Lust Conquers All, it becomes apparent that Jamie acted cartoonishly sleazy while cheating on his main island fling, which in turn made him unlikeable to the audience and got him kicked off.
- Voted Off the Island: The episode begins with the end of Jamie's reality TV stint.
- Weakness Turns Her On: Roy catches Keeley masturbating to a video on her phone, and the video turns out to be of his retirement press conference where he broke down in tears. Keeley admits that seeing Roy so vulnerable and open with his emotions turns her on.
