Recap / Star Trek S2 E22 "By Any Other Name"
Truly, there's no situation so dire that can't be solved by Kirk mackin' on space babes.
It all starts when Kirk, Bones, Spock and two Red Shirts beam down to a planet to investigate a distress signal from a crashed ship. Turns out, it was just bait put out by the Kelvans who have decided this galaxy is suitable for colonization. Kirk tells them they're quite welcome to some of the galaxy's uninhabited planets. The Federation might even be willing to aid them. However, the Kelvans do not settle, they conquer. And now they're going back to the Andromeda galaxy to tell everyone the wonderful news! Oh, and they'll be needing the starship Enterprise to get there. The trip should only take 300 years, more or less.

The Kelvans force their way on board, hijack it on a course for Andromeda and turn everyone but Kirk, Bones, Spock and Scotty into giant 20 siders. It's up to these four to find a way to take the ship back and restore the crew.

Tropes for this episode include:

  • And I Must Scream: The neural neuralizer that the Kelvans use to freeze people in place shuts down all voluntary systems. They can still blink and presumably hear since Rojan continues to talk to them, but they can neither move or speak.
  • The Black Dude Dies First: Averted. The cute girl gets crushed to dust while the black Red Shirt is spared.
  • Blatant Lies: Spock asks Rojan if he's jealous that Kelinda spends time with Kirk alone. "Of course not!" Rojan answers obviously aggravated.
  • Can Only Move the Eyes: The effects of the Kelvan stunning device used in the beginning.
  • Continuity Nod: A reference is made to Spock's method of escape from Eminiar VII in "A Taste Of Armageddon". The episode "Where No Man Has Gone Before" is not only referenced, they use Stock Footage from it.
  • Drinking Contest: Scotty manages to drink a Kelvan under the table. Then he takes away the passed out Kelvan's magic belt buckle, planning to get it to Captain Kirk...right after he takes a little nap.
  • Easily Forgiven: Justified. Kirk is willing to overlook the fact that the Kelvans hijacked his ship, and the fact that one of them killed one of his crew members, in order to talk them into peaceful settlement like he'd tried to at the beginning of the episode. Why justified? Well, you try telling all powerful aliens that they're on trial for first degree murder.
  • Food Pills: Kelvans insist this is a more efficient method of nutrition, until they try real food.
  • Forgotten Phlebotinum: For the journey to Andromeda, the Kelvans make upgrades that allow the Enterprise to travel safely at many times her previous top speed. The upgrades are still in place at the end of the episode, but they're never referred to again.
  • A Form You Are Comfortable With: Spock describes the Kelvans' true forms as being very Cthulhu like.
  • Go to Your Room: Rojan orders a frustrated and angry Hanar to confine himself to his quarters.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: Rojan can't stand it when Kelinda is with Kirk.
  • Humanity Ensues: The more time Kelvans spend as humans, the more human like they become.
  • Instant People, Just Add Water: The Kelvans reduce the Enterprise crew to cuboctahedral blocks of their basic elements. (Picture here.) A Redshirt is killed by being crushed while in this form; others are restored.
  • Leitmotif: Bagpipes for Scotty.
  • Literary Allusion Title: Kirk Title drops when he quotes a line from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet to Kelinda, who is fascinated by flowers. "That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
  • Literally Shattered Lives: Rojan smashes Yeoman Thompson as a way of intimidating Kirk into letting him have the Enterprise.
  • Love Makes You Stupid: Rojan completely forgot he had a belt buckle that could freeze people or turn them into crushable blocks when he saw Kirk kissing Kelinda and attacked him manually. Kirk even points it out; he's too angry to think straight, and was already overstimulated before this.
  • The Main Characters Do Everything: A variation, as the Kelvans reduce all "non-essential" crew members to ceramic cubes; "non-essential" turns out to mean everyone barring Kirk, Spock, Bones, and Scotty. Justified, however, as Kirk is the ship's captain (useful for communication between the Kelvans and the Enterprise crew), Spock is the First Officer and Science Officer (same as Kirk, in addition to being useful for identifying/dealing with anything scientific phenomena the ship may encounter), Bones is Chief Medical Officer (necessary for any medical emergencies), and Scotty is Chief Engineer (and thus needed for any potential repairs to the ship).
  • Manly Tears: A half drunk Scotty sheds them when he realizes he has to sacrifice his rare bottle of aged whiskey to save the ship. Keep in mind, he earlier had no qualms about taking everyone's life including his own to keep the Kelvans from accomplishing their objectives. Liquor is Serious Business. The tears turn into Tears of Joy when that bottle manages to get the Kelvan under the table. A proud Scotty kisses the bottle.
    Scotty: We did it, you and me! Right under the table!
  • The Milky Way Is the Only Way: Not only the journey to Andromeda will take several hundred years, there is also an energy barrier surrounding the Milky Way and blocking the way out that the Enterprise barely manages to cross.
  • A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Read: When Spock glimpses into the Kelvan's minds, he feels a surge of mental pain from their incredibly complex thoughts.
  • Neutral Female: When Kirk and Rojan get into a brawl, Kelinda stands around looking helpless, even though she's armed with a paralysis ray that could easily bring the fight to a halt. Given that she's a Kelvan woman overstimulated by Kirk's romance, she's no doubt still processing the new experience of being fought over (physically included), emotion-wise.
  • Orgasmically Delicious: Bones remarks if one of the Kelvans enjoys his food much more, he'll need a diet.
  • Playing Sick: Spock puts himself into a trance to make the Kelvans think he needs to go to sick bay.
  • Red Shirt: Yeoman Thompson is the only female redshirt during TOS's run (a "redskirt")— the only other female Enterprise crewmember to die on-screen was Lt. Galway from "The Deadly Years", but she had a blue uniform rather than a red one.
  • Sci Fi Writers Have No Sense Of Velocity: The trip is said to take 300 years. Still, going at warp 11 for any length of time is bound to turn anyone into chunky salsa.
    • The energy barrier that surrounds the Milky Way. Just attempt to guess the requeriments to envelope an entire galaxy (and probably at least part of its halo).
  • The Spock: The Kelvans fit this trope better than Spock himself, as he quickly surmises, although assuming human form makes them capable of emotion.
  • Starfish Aliens: What the Kelvans are in their true forms, as Spock glimpses briefly.
  • Suicide Mission: At first, they consider blowing up the ship rather than letting the Kelvans have it, but Kirk insists on taking a third option.
  • Through His Stomach: The Kelvans are offered food and drink to make them more amenable.
  • Up to Eleven: Chekov seems a bit nervous about making the ship go Warp 11.
  • What Is This Thing You Call "Love"?: And flowers? And food? And booze? And drugs? The Kelvans are unused to human sensations.
  • Would Hit a Girl:
    • Kirk would to escape from a desperate situation. Of course, he "apologizes" later.
    • Rojan kills Yeoman Thompson, the only female Red Shirt to die onscreen on TOS.