This is going to be like the Lord of the Rings and have like five endings, isn't it?
Film watched: The Christmas Dragon
The Segments:
Prologue- Jonah, Emily, and Joel make final preparations for their escape plan and bring out their tools for commandeering the Deep Hurting: Jonah's Percussive Drive, an automatic steering wheel built by Joel... and a cinderblock to hold the gas pedal down.
Segment 1/Invention Exchange
- Live from the Moon, Kinga Forrester hosts the Triple-Riffle Holiday Spectacular! After a word from her sponsor Dr. Kabahl, the hosts pass off their escape tools as the Invention Exchange while Kinga hastily puts mistletoe on an armed missile and gifts it to Max. And then comes the holiday feature presentation: The Christmas Dragon. Each of the hosts will take turns riffing it, and Emily is up first.
Segment 2
- Friar Nolte visits the Moon to offer a drunken and incoherent ramble that vaguely explains what Christmas is all about in relation to the movie. Kinga sends Emily's 'Bots over to Joel so he can riff next.
Segment 3
- The hosts take some time to rhyme about how they'll break the news of their impending departure to the 'Bots. The Mads are still trying to figure out what they're saying to no avail.
Post-Intermission
- Jonah tries to indirectly tell Crow and Servo that he'll be leaving soon. They end up misinterpreting his hints and blowing them way out of proportion. It's now Jonah's turn to riff.
Segment 4
- It's time for the main event! After another plug for her sponsor, Kinga has Jonah and Emily transferred into Joel's Satellite of Love so all three hosts can riff the last part of the movie together.
Segment 5
- The hosts come together to close out the special with a holiday concert, triggering the Percussive Drive to activate the Deep Hurting and pull Joel's SOL through the Timebag to Jazzfest 1991. The escape has a few close calls, but is ultimately successful thanks to... PEARL!? Turns out, she knew of the escape plan the whole time and wants to go to Jazzfest with them. Furious at this turn of events, Dr. Kabahl pulls all his funding from Kinga and demands repayment on his loans as another meteor shower destroys the Kingadome.
The Mystery Science Theater 3000 presentation of The Christmas Dragon has examples of:
- Call-Back:
- "Also, he's a Dracula."
- The crew's concert opens with "Hooray For Santy Claus" and "Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas" from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. When those songs prove insufficient to power the Percussive Drive, they play the Season 5-6 version of the MST3K Love Theme as their final Hail Mary to reach the Timebag.
- A bumper sticker on the Deep Hurting reads "WE LIKE IT VERY MUCH".
- Celebrity Resemblance: Friar Mendel in the movie is riffed on by the crew for his perceived resemblance to Nick Nolte. This later leads to "Friar Nolte" (played by Patton Oswalt) visiting the crew during the second host segment.
- Heel–Face Turn:
- Pearl Forrester. Apparently, the chance to score with Aaron Neville in his 50-year-old prime is enough reason to make her side with the hosts in their attempt to escape into the past.
- Also for Growler and M. Waverly, who are ordered by Kinga to barricade the Timebag before the SOL makes it through, but decide to drop it at the last second out of dissatisfaction for their Bonehead jobs.
- Humiliation Conga: Her test subjects escape, her own grandmother betrays her, Dr. Kabahl cuts her funding, meteors destroy the Kingadome... Kinga is in tears by the episode's end.
- Irony: Despite eight different versions of the MST3K Love Theme having been sung over the years, Joel only knows the words to the Mike version (specifically the Season 5-6 version).
- Metaphorgotten: Friar Nolte's inebriated attempt to explain the meaning of Christmas.Friar Nolte: Oh, you have the glory of the Middle-Earth shone 'round about them, and they were so afraid. Those daffodils. You stick those shepherds on the set of Prince of Tides, that'll teach 'em fear and help 'em to hold their mud like men.
- Product Placement: When the 'Bots are dropped into Joel's SOL, he can be seen reading some of the books published by real-life Gizmoplex sponsor Bearmanor Media.
- Running Gag:
- Singing the refrain to "Wonderful Christmastime" during action scenes.
- The lines "Six years later" and "It's over 30 feet down" getting repeated constantly.
- Fin's sarcastic quips and growing kill-count with his slingshot.
- The heavily-gelled hairdos that everybody in the movie sports.
- Babbling when saying "Orb of Borealis".
- Shout-Out: "What'll it be, strangeh?"
- Stock Scream: Crow does the Goofy Holler when one of Gazared's soldiers gets snatched up by the dragon.
