Airdate: Monday, December 20, 2004
Homestar awakens on a lovely winter's day... or rather, a lovely winter's evening. Not only did he sleep in on the day he was supposed to go Decemberween gift shopping, it's actually 10 PM on Decemberween night. With only two hours of Decemberween left, Homestar rushes out the door (in such a hurry he leaves the house "naked, somehow") to do some very last minute shopping.
Over at the house of the Brothers Strong, Strong Mad bonds with his new pet rock "Tony Stony" and Strong Bad shows off his "Grabbo Arm" with a little help from The Cheat.
Meanwhile, Homestar passes by Homsar, collecting "alms for the pudgy", and pauses to make use of the "complimentary spit bucket" before dashing off to the only store that could possibly be open at this hour: Bubs' Concession Stand. There, he raids a cardboard box of "Aught-Four Crap" for such choice gifts as electrical tape for Pom Pom and a rusty steak knife for Coach Z.
Speaking of Coach Z, he's enjoying a TV dinner and answering a phone call from his parents, assuring them that he's enjoying a turkey dinner with "gravied yams and stuffinged ham", that he's not alone, and that he's not pretending to talk to them with an unplugged phone. Then to drive the point home, Coach Z finds out the hard way that he forgot to pay his electric bill.
Back at the Concession Stand, Homestar considers some wax fruit "for the Poopsmith who has everything", and decides he doesn't need to get anything for Strong Sad, who's busy with his Decemberween tradition of getting locked in the bathtub and passing the time singing showtunes to himself.
Over at Marzipan's, Homestar shows up with his last-minute gift for Marzipan: a set of wire cutters. Just as Strong Bad is about to scold him for it ("Decemberween is not about getting people presents. It's about getting people good presents!"), it turns out wire cutters are just what Marzipan needs for "freeing baby seals from the crab traps down by the wharfs."
Homestar: Well well, Strong-O Bad-O. Looks like the ol' captain of the team still has what it takes.
Strong Bad: Oh yeah? Well, the Grabbo Arm has what it takes (extends his Grabbo Arm, which comes back holding a handbag) and what it takes is Marzipan's purse.
Homestar: No skin off my back.
Strong Bad: Hey, thanks! Have a nice last seven minutes of Decemberween, Homestar.
Homestar: There's only seven minutes left of Decemberween?! Oh, crap! I forgot to get everyone presents!
(Homestar starts running around freaking out in the background)
Strong Bad: Ugh, it goes on and on like this. Seriously, like until New Years'... (fade to black, beat) I didn't know we had any wharfs.
Tropes:
- Accidental Misnaming: After stumbling into Marzipan's living room with his last-minute gift, Homestar says "Happy Decemberween, Marzi-man..."
- Call-Back: Strong Sad is locked in a bath-tub, which he claims his brothers do to him every year in The Best Decemberween Ever.
- Companion Cube: Strong Mad's favorite gift seems to be a large pet rock called "Tony Stony".Strong Mad: I LOVE YOU, TONY STONY! NO, I LOVE YOU MORE!
- Convenience Store Gift Shopping: Homestar ends up buying a bunch of Bubs' old "Aught-Four Crap" for his friends and neighbors.
- Epic Fail: Because of how badly he botched setting his alarm, Homestar has to rush out to do Decemberween shopping at 10PM on Decemberween. Furthermore, Homestar somehow managed to lose his clothes as he runs out the door.
- Forgot to Pay the Bill: As the lights go out in Coach Z's locker room, he laments "Aw, crackles! I forgot to pay my bills again this year!"
- Geographic Flexibility: Lampshaded. At the end of the cartoon, after Marzipan leaves to use her new gift down by the wharf, Strong Bad quips "I didn't know we had any wharfs."
- My New Gift Is Lame: Subverted; Marzipan seems disappointed in the wire cutters Homestar gets her, but then declares they're perfect for freeing baby seals from the crab traps down by the wharf.
- Naked People Are Funny: Homestar is in such a rush to get his shopping done, he leaves his house "naked, somehow" even though he was wearing a shirt before.
- Offscreen Crash: One of these occurs as Homestar rushes out the door to get his gift shopping done.Homestar: (deadpan) Oh crap, I fell down the stairs.
- Oh, Crap!: Homestar repeatedly shouts "Oh, crap!" as he realizes just how late he is getting his Decemberween shopping done.
- Oh, No... Not Again!:
- When Homestar realizes it's the middle of the night, he laments "I set the alarm for 10 PM instead of AM again!"
- When Homestar starts freaking out at the end about there only being seven minutes of Decemberween left, Strong Bad gripes "It goes on and on like this. Seriously, like until New Years'."
- Ridiculous Procrastinator: Doing your holiday shopping on the night of the holiday in question, like Homestar ends up doing, is about as last-minute as you can get.
- Shout-Out:
- Homestar's piano T-shirt is from the music video for Michael Jackson's "Beat It".
- While locked in a bathtub (again), Strong Sad passes the time by singing a slightly-mangled version of "One Night in Bangkok" from Chess.
- Spoof Aesop: Strong Bad delivers a tongue-in-cheek moral after Homestar gives Marzipan wire cutters as a present.Strong Bad: Foolish Homestar. Decemberween is not about getting people presents. It's about getting people good presents! Good presents! Not this last-minute discount crap you're trying to foist on us.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: During the Coach Z scene, he informs his parents "No, I'm not alone. Yes, this phone is plugged in."
