"You Pet It, You Bought It" is an episode in the eighth season of Full House.
After Michelle manages to make $221 by selling lemonade on a hot day to construction workers nearby, she gets Kimmy to take her to a candy store to spend her money. She comes back home with her purchase — not candy, but a donkey (which she names "Shorty"), and trouble ensues for the family when they try to keep Shorty overnight.
Tropes in this episode include:
- Distracted by the Sexy: When Michelle mentions early in the episode that the customers for her lemonade sales — the construction workers — are "big, sweaty men", Rebecca, D.J., and Stephanie run out to see them, though the workers in question are never shown.
- A Dog Ate My Homework: Except for the fact that it's a donkey instead of a dog, the trope is played straight, as part of the trouble caused by Shorty involves him eating the homemade landscape of the U.S. that Stephanie has made for her geography class.Danny: I'll write a note for you.
Stephanie: What, "a donkey ate my homework"? I used that last week. - A Fool and His New Money Are Soon Parted: Played with. It's first discussed: Upon learning that Michelle has made $221 by selling lemonade, Danny suggests her to save her money, but Jesse advocates for her to "live a little" with some spending, with Michelle responding: "I'm gonna live a lot". Then it's downplayed, as she gets Kimmy to take her to a candy store, only to come back with a donkey instead of candy, expending all of her savings doing so. Near the end of the episode, Michelle is forced to agree with everyone else that the donkey can't stay after witnessing the property damage he has caused inside the house, though it takes her a brief moment to accept the fact that the donkey will be donated and not sold.Michelle: That's it? I'm broke?
- Identical Grandson: Early in the episode, Danny shows a portrait of his grandfather, who looks just like Danny.
- I Take Offense to That Last One: When explaining to Michelle why Shorty can't stay in their house, Danny says that he sheds, he stinks, and he's dirty. Stephanie pipes up that Kimmy does all those, yet she still comes over. An insulted Kimmy turns to her and says, "I don't shed."
- Kill It with Fire: Discussed for comedic effect. As Danny is trying to decide where to hang his grandfather's portrait early in the episode, Jesse and Joey suggest hanging it on the back-wall of the fireplace — before lighting a match at it. Danny, who likes the portrait a lot, opposes the proposal.
- Lemonade Stand Plot: This episode begins with Michelle starting a lemonade stand to earn some money. She ends up making $221 when she sells her lemonade to some construction workers on a hot day, then spends her money on Shorty the donkey, getting this episode's main plot underway.
- Picture Day: D.J.'s problem with Shorty the donkey comes with her being allergic to donkey hair while he stays in the night a day before her own Picture Day. Come the next morning, she has a stuffy nose and blood-shot eyes due to said allergic reaction. Unfortunately for D.J., she is completely unaware of her allergic nature to donkeys until that very morning, well after the fact.D.J.: (upon realizing she's allergic to Michelle's donkey) Well, get him out! I'm breathing donkey dander!
- Revealing Hug: Played for Laughs. Michelle meets an exhausted Jesse, who has just spent an entire night trying to serenade Shorty the donkey in an attempt to prevent him from getting too loose, in the morning. While Jesse and Michelle embrace each other over the (seeming) success of keeping Shorty on the leash for the night, Jesse comments that he probably smells bad due to his close proximity to a donkey lasting all night. Michelle assures him that's not the case... only to give a facial expression that is visible to the audience but not to Jesse that her words of assurance were all Blatant Lies.
- Shaped Like Itself: When first introducing the donkey to the family, Michelle says that his name is "Shorty", which is short for... "Shorty".
- Shout-Out: To Three's Company, because its theme song is what Jesse tries to sing to Shorty to calm him down and prevent him running loose in the house, but he doesn't remember all of its lyrics — the rest of the Tanner family members do, though.
- Tempting Fate: During the discussion about how best to manage Michelle's new income from her lemonade sales, Danny suggests for her to save the money, but Jesse advocates for her to "live a little" with some spending, with Michelle responding: "I'm gonna live a lot". She does just that through buying a DONKEY, spending all of her money in the process.Danny: Please tell me that's a piñata.
- Title Drop: According to Michelle, when the owner of the travelling petting zoo learned from her that she has enough money to buy Shorty, he said, "You pet it, you bought it." in order to tell her that the donkey is hers now.
