- Date First Aired: 25/10/1990
The polling cards have arrived again but a problem has arisen - Sharon can't vote for her preferred candidate as she isn't registered, having registered herself as a Cypriot diplomat. Even worse, Darryl is able to vote, despite the fact that he's a registered criminal. Darryl offers to give her his polling card... if she is willing to pay £350 (a.k.a her Poll Tax) for it. Pissed, Sharon calls Tracey a class traitor and tries to raise the money by selling Fat Stan's gear.
After Dorien shows up, it is revealed that Tracey is a "floater" - she hasn't decided who she wants to vote. Surprisingly, Dorine is voting for the Greens, having a sexual desire for the candidate, but Sharon wants her to listen to the rest of the arguments. Luckily, Dorien will be seeing these candidates so Tracey is given the opportunity to check them out.Sharon tries to raise money by flogging Fat Stan's goods, coming into conflict with Tracey when she tries to sell security teddy bears. Meanwhile, Tracey is given her options - the Labour Candidate is struggling to get votes, to the point that he's at risk of losing his deposit but is supportive of the NHS, the Green candidate argues that everyone must be concerned about Global Warming. The real winner though is Lawrence Clarke, who is impressed with Sharon's security bears and purchases them off Sharon.
In the end, the two sisters fight and Sharon decides to return to Edmonton, although she returns upon realizing that her old apartment is a bit of a dump and that she misses her sister. Election Day comes and Sharon is able to vote. In the end, Labour doesn't win, although they can retain their deposit by one vote. Sharon and Tracey promptly argue over which one of their votes saved their deposit in the end. It's also revealed that Dorien voted for Labour in the end, as she felt that the Greens were now two-timers.
Tropes in this episode:
- 10-Minute Retirement: Sharon moves back to her flat after an argument with Tracey. Then she realises how shitty it is and returns to Dalentrace to apologise.
- Added Alliterative Appeal: The t-shirt that Sharon wears, which reads "Sea, Sun, Socialism".
- Agony of the Feet: Sharon hurt her feet when digging in the garden barefoot.
- All There in the Script: Inverted. Despite the Green candidate, Tory candidate and TV reporter receiving names, they’re only referred to as "Green Candidate", "Tory Candidate" and "TV Reporter" in the credits.
- Ask a Stupid Question...: When Dorien asks how Sharon is going to vote, Sharon bluntly points out that she's going to put a little cross next to the person's name.
- Ass Shove: Sharon tells Tracey where she can stick Darryl's voting card.
- Celebrity Crush: David Icke is one for Dorien, and she calls him a gorgeous hunk.
- Continuity Nod:
- Fat Stan is still using Sharon's flat to sell his gear.
- Sharon and Tracey both recall Tracey asking Sharon to live with her in "Nicked" but have very different ideas of how it played out.
- Copycat Mockery: The sisters try to imitate each other's voices.
- Deadpan Snarker: We have Sharon's response to Tracey telling her that Darryl wanted private healthcare:Tracey: Look, it was Darryl's idea. I did'n' even know 'e joined, bu' 'e said if 'e ever suffered an industrial injury, 'e wan'ed to be seen the same day.Sharon: Industrial injury? You mean like gettin', er, bullet in yer leg durin' a getaway?
- Decided by One Vote: A variant - although Labour doesn't win in the end, they manage to hold on to their deposit by one vote. Sharon and Tracey promptly argue over whose vote actually saved them, although Dorien claims that it was hers.
- Election Day Episode: This episode takes place during an upcoming parliamentary by-election and focuses on Tracey deciding who to vote for.
- Fee Fi Faux Pas: Lawrence tells Tracey he aims to have criminals off the streets faster and longer, not realising that Tracey's husband is a criminal.
- The Ghost: Barry Lodge, the former host of Wednesday Night Out.
- Hypocritical Humour:
- Sharon complains that her neighbours at her flat are too common, coming from the most common person in the series.
- Darryl calls Sharon a criminal for not paying her poll tax, despite the fact he himself is current incarcerated.
- Malaproper: Sharon uses bisexual when she means unisex.
- No Name Given: None of the political candidates other than the Green and Tory are given any names. The Green agent doesn't get a name either.
- Noodle Incident:
- The first time we see Sharon, she's suffering the aftermath of having to wait in the hospital after having dug the garden in her bare feet.
- Apparently, Sharon registered herself as a Cypriot diplomat when the registration forms came, explaining why she isn't registered.
- Apparently, Sharon almost had a cardiac when she was told the truth about the Tooth Fairy.
- One-Shot Character: Jill the Green candidate, Lawrence Clarke and Julian.
- Punny Headlines: When Barry Lodge was jailed, one of the headlines was "Lodge's Dodges".
- Right on Queue: Not shown on screen but Sharon complains of having to wait several hours for an x-ray and compares it to "like flogging Cup Final tickets".
- Shout-Out:
- The episode title comes from a quote by Mark Twain.
- Sharon mentions Daryl Hannah and makes an indirect reference to Splash.
- Sharon mentions Love Story at one point.
- Sharon tries selling tapes for Madonna, The Cannibals and Wet Wet Wet.
- The girl Sharon tries selling tapes to compares herself to Rapunzel.
- Sharon compares Tracey to Mother Theresa.
- Dorien thinks David Icke is a gorgeous hunk.
- Sharon compares the Green candidate to the Jolly Green Giant.
- Sharon catches the end of an episode of EastEnders in her flat.
- Show Within a Show: Wednesday Night Out, which was hosted by Barry Lodge.
- Status Quo Is God: Sharon moves out of Dalentrace, but is back before the end of the episode.
- Take That!:
- Sharon claims the Labour candidate has as much chance of winning as Neil Kinnock has of growing dreadlocks. Dorien also claims that photos of Kinnock in the windows would lower the house prices.
- Tracey is outraged when Sharon asks if she'd consider voting Hare Krishna.
- The girl Sharon tries to sell tapes to claims only a complete wally would want a Barry Manilow tape.
- Sharon and the Labour candidate make fun of Margaret Thatcher's sex life.
- The Labour candidate calls David Owen the exception to free health care for all.
- Dorien is disgusted that Tracey would call David Coleman a gorgeous hunk.
- Verbal Backspace: Tracey tells Sharon that Darryl said she could have his voting card and Sharon praises him. Tracey then tells her that Darryl wants to be paid for it and Sharon insults him in the same tone of voice.
