Title: Rain
Directed by: Noam Pitlik
Written by: Danny Arnold and Chris Hayward (story), Tony Sheehan (teleplay)
Air Date: November 27, 1975
Previous: The Horse Thief
Next: Fish
Guest Starring: Sidney Miller, Phil Leeds, Stanley Brock, Paul Lichtman
"Rain" is the 11th episode of the second season of Barney Miller.
It's raining in New York. A lot. The detectives of the 12th Precinct are staring glumly out the window, talking about how depressing the rain is. It's even more depressing because the roof of the precinct is leaking, and the detectives are having to position cups and pots to catch water dripping into the squad room. Water also gets into their cabinets and destroys files (it's 1975, after all, so it's all on paper). Things advance from depressing to dangerous when Beckman, the maintenance man, reports that a large amount of water is accumulating on the roof, enough that there is a chance the roof will collapse.
Meanwhile, the department arrests only one bad guy: a comedian named Jackie Ace, who traded insults with the audience at his unfunny nightclub act until a fight broke out.
First appearance of Stanley Brock, this time as the owner of the nightclub; Brock would go on to make seven appearances as recurring character Bruno Binder.
Tropes:
- Appeal to Familial Wisdom: Yemana, trying to cheer Barney up, shares a ridiculous "Oriental" proverb from his uncle. See Sophisticated as Hell below.
- Bad to the Last Drop: The Running Gag about the terrible, terrible coffee, usually Yemana's fault. In this episode the coffee pot is being used to catch rainwater leaking from the roof. Yemana picks up the pot and, to Barney's astonishment, uses the rainwater to make coffee. (He claims that the dirt and tar on the roof filters out impurities.)
- Captain Obvious: Beckman, the maintenance man, is less than helpful. When Barney points out all the leaks Beckman looks up and says "They're from the roof!"
- Continuity Nod: Previous episode "The Horse Thief" ended with Fish saying that they were supposed to get rain the next week. They did.
- Gray Rain of Depression: At various points of the episode most of the detectives look out the window and talk about how depressing the rain is. Most depressed is Chano, who sits on the couch in Barney's office and talks about how the cops are unappreciated and their work is useless.
- It Tastes Like Feet: Subverted. Harris drinks the Bad to the Last Drop coffee, grimaces, and says "Tastes like a roof." It does taste like a roof, because Yemana used water leaking from the ceiling.
- Manchild: Wojciehowicz was often written as if he were an overgrown kid. This episode has him looking out the window at the rain and moaning that it's depressing, because he can't go outside and play ball or go for a bike ride.
- Rage Breaking Point: The worry about the the stability of the roof climaxes with a chunk of the roof falling down in the middle of the office. This provokes the normally calm, unflappable Captain Miller to freak out, screaming about how he's sick and tired of being asked to keep order in the city with no resources and while working out of a broken-down building. Barney's fit of rage is undercut when he tells Yemana to call headquarters, only for Yemana to discover that the rain has taken out the phones.Barney: That's it. That's it. Nick, get the division commander. I think we've all had enough, huh? I've had it up to here. With inefficiency, with complacency, with-with-with trying to keep this place together with spit and wire! I'm sick and tired of trying to keep the lid on this potboiler situation we're living in, with-with-with no heat, no air, no light! No decent toilets!! They are gonna hear it from me! And I don't wanna hear any excuses, I don't wanna hear from budgets, I don't wanna hear any cockamamie fiscal garbage! They can take this job, they can—Nick: Barney...I can't get through. The phone lines must be washed out.
- Series Continuity Error: Beckman specifically mentions that the squadron building was completed in 1932. 6 1/2 years later, three-part series finale "Landmark" was built around the discovery that the precinct building dated to the 1890s and Theodore Roosevelt once had an office there.
- Sophisticated as Hell: The proverb Yemana delivers to calm Barney down, which ends the episode.Yemana: What you gotta do is develop an Oriental philosophy. Like my grandfather used to say, many things look bleak at the moment of occurrence...but at least we ain't got locusts!
- So Unfunny, It's Funny: All the jokes by standup comic Jackie Ace, who does awful, awful Bicentennial-themed humor. (Benedict Arnold to Nathan Hale: "Hang in there.")
