When Steve suffers indignities in school because of his scoliosis (and the corrective brace he has to wear for six weeks because of it), Stan confides with him an embarrassing secret of his own: he's bald and wears a wig. When Steve discovers that he's been lying to him all this time, he overreacts and tries to expose the secret to the rest of the family. Meanwhile, Roger brings both Francine and Hayley to a posh spa, even though he has only two passes, raising the suspicions of the house detective.
Tropes:
- Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: Roger's explanation for why he invited both Francine and Hayley when he only has two passes to the spa.Roger: Gee, I don't know. You think it might have something to do with me being drunk all the time?
- Bait-and-Switch: Steve calls a tough look trucker's mom a messed up bitch for not liking a particular chain's barbecue ribs. What seems like a set up for a beating gets a cut to Steve amicably parting ways with the trucker after trying his preferred ribs for himself.
- Conspiracy Theorist: Justin the truck driver. Apparently while having ribs, he told Steve that "the Jews knew about 9/11."
- Didn't Think This Through: When confronted by Steve over it, Stan is ultimately persuaded to expose his baldness to his family... except he planned to just claim as such hoping that Steve would stop him and see the gesture as being what counts. Much to his irritation, Steve doesn't and insists on him doing so.Stan: You were supposed to stop me! The gesture should've been enough! Come on, give me a break! You only have to wear that brace for six weeks. This is permanent! What do you want from me?!
Steve: Dad, all I want is for you to be the man that you're asking me to be. - Everyone Knew Already: When Stan is persuaded by Steve to reveal his baldness to Francine, it turns out not only did she know, Steve was the only one of the Smiths who didn't until this episode.
- Hypocrite: Stan tells Steve to put up with his back brace, insisting that it's what's on the inside that counts. When Steve discovers he's bald and wears a wig, Stan is quick to reveal he doesn't believe any of it.Steve: Dad, you said the only thing that matters is what's on the inside!
Stan: Grow up! The outside's the only thing that matters! Nobody cares what's on the inside! If they did, I would have married that smart fat girl I used to have all those deep conversations with. - Hypocrite Has a Point: Stan points out the key difference in his and Steve's situations; Steve has to only wear his back brace for a few weeks, while Stan's baldness is permanent. A short-term affliction is much easier to deal with and move on from than a lifetime long issue.
- I Have No Son!: Inverted. When Stan manages to stop Steve from exposing Stan's wig, Steve decides to disown Stan if he can't practice what he preaches. This is what prompts Stan to throw in the towel.
- It's the Principle of the Thing: Why Steve doesn't just let the whole hair thing go is because he just wants his father to be the man that he's imploring Steve to be.
- Locked Out of the Loop: Roger claims that the family didn’t inform Steve about Stan being bald due to believing he might make a big fuss about it.
- Secret Test of Character: Mr. Chimdale devised a mystery involving the spa's pistachio supply in order to make Turlington into the greatest spa detective since his father. Turlington is moved to tears when he learns he passed.
- Serious Business: Steve uncharacteristically says that gruff looking trucker's mom sounds like a messed up bitch for not liking a particular chain's barbecue ribs.
- "Shaggy Dog" Story: Stan trying to conceal his baldness becomes this when it is revealed that everyone knew the truth, apart from Steve, which retroactively makes his attempt to expose Stan this trope as well.
- Verbal Backspace: Hayley angrily asks if Francine and Roger were really going to let her drown to save $1,800. Roger bluntly says yes, before saying no.
