Quotes / The Three Little Bops

Narrator: Remember the story of Three Little Pigs?

One played the pipe, and the other danced jigs.

The Three Little Pigs are still around,

But they're playing music with a modern sound.

(music)

Three Little Pigs were in the groove.

Everything was running smooth.

The Pigs were due for a big surprise,

For the Wolf appeared with red-rimmed eyes.

Wolf: Ooh, you cool!

Ooh, you cool!

Ooh, you cool, man, cool!

Narrator: Well, to show he was friendly, he shook their hand,

Announced he was joining up with the band.

Instead of starting an argument,

A-one and a-two and away they went.

(bad trumpet solo)

Narrator: Three Little Pigs were really gassed.

They'd never heard such a corny blast!

Drummer Pig: We've played in the west!

Piano Pig: We've played in the east!

Guitar Pig: We've heard the most,

But you're the least!

(drum solo)

Narrator: Well, the Big Bad Wolf was really mad.

He wanted to play music and he wanted to play bad.

Wolf: They stopped me before I could go to town,

So I'll huff and puff and blow their house down!

(trumpet blast, guitar riff)

Narrator: The House of Straw was blown away.

The Pigs had to find another place to play.

The Dew Drop Inn, a house of sticks,

Three Little Pigs were giving out licks.

Well, the Piano-Playing Pig was swinging like a gate,

Doin' Liberace on the eighty-eights.

Piano Pig: (imitating Liberace) I wish my brother, George, was here.

Narrator: Three Little Pigs were having a ball,

When the Big Bad Wolf, he entered the hall.

(evil sting)

The Big Bad Wolf, he sat right down.

Wolf: Come on, cats, we're goin' to town!

(guitar solo)

(bad trumpet solo)

Narrator: From the crowd came an angry shout...

Crowd: Stop the music! Throw the square out!

Narrator: Big Bad Wolf was really sore.

Wolf: If they're gonna get tough, I'll give 'em more!

They don't know talent in this here town,

I'll huff and puff and blow the place down!

(trumpet blast)

Narrator: Dew Drop Inn

Did drop down.

Three Little Pigs crawled out of the rubble.

Guitar Pig: This Big Bad Wolf gives us nothing but trouble.

Piano Pig: So we won't be bothered by his windy tricks.

Drummer Pig: The next place we play must be made of bricks.

Narrator: Sturdy place, this house of bricks,

Built in 1776,

High class place with a high class crowd.

Sign on the door: No Wolves Allowed.

The Wolf was sore and fit to be tied.

He was sworn and determined to get inside.

(instrumental)

He huffed and puffed at the house of bricks,

But bricks are stronger than straw or sticks.

He huffed and puffed and bleeped and blooped

And at ten o'clock was completely pooped.

When all of a sudden came a ray of hope.

Wolf: I can disguise myself. Boy, what a dope!

(guitar solo)

("Charleston")

(guitar solo)

Narrator: Well, the Big Bad Wolf took it all in stride.

He figured out another way to get inside.

(bad trumpet solo)

("Don't Give Up the Ship")

(drum deflates)

("Don't Give Up the Ship" continues)

Wolf: I'll show those pigs that I'm not stuck!

If I can't blow it down, I'll blow it up!

(sax solo, explosive blasts)

Narrator: Well, the Big Bad Wolf was really gone,

And with him went his corny horn.

Went out of this world without a trace.

Didn't go to heaven, was the other place.

(perfect muted trumpet solo)

Piano Pig: The Big Bad Wolf he learned the rule:

Ya gotta get hot to play real cool!

(music)

(ending riff)