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Quotes: Stealing from the Till

Ted, let me explain Revenue: it's like your embezzlement, but it's directed at customers.
Dilbert

It's my way or the highway this Christmas at my bar.
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till,
I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will!
Mystery Science Theater 3000, Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas