"You're not here for my sermon, you just want me to say one of those... things."
— Reverend Spooner, to a larger crowd than usual.
What makes Lirty Dies funny? Mangle a few complex consonants around, play with word combinations, and you can make almost any straight line sound overtly sexual, even though what you're saying is utterly G-rated.
— Sixteen Scandals: 20 Years of Sex, Lies and Other Habits of Our Great Leaders by William Strauss and Elaina Newport of the Capitol Steps
"Over that boy hand! ...hand... over... that... boy."
"He deered to kill a king's dare! ....Dared... to kill the king's deer."
"My liege! Struckey has loxxed again!"
"ENOUGH! KING ILLEGAL FOREST! TO PIG WILD! KILL IN IT A IS!... I mean... DON'T YOU KNOW! IT IS ILLEGAL TO KILL A WILD PIG IN THE KING'S FOREST!"
—The Sheriff of Rottingham, Robin Hood: Men in Tights