Quotes / Soapbox Sadie

"Do I hear the sound of butting in? It's gotta be little Lisa Simpson, Springfield's answer to a question no one asked!"

Lisa: What position have you got for me?!
[all gasp]
Lisa: That's right! A girl wants to play football! How about that?!
Flanders: Well, that's super-duper, Lisa. In fact, we already have four girls on the team!
Lisa: [disappointed] You do?
Flanders: Uh huh. But we'd love to have ya on board!
Lisa: Well... football's not really my thing... After all, what civilized person would play a game with the skin of an innocent PIG?!
Flanders: Well, actually, Lisa, these balls are synthetic.
Janey: And for every ball we buy, a dollar goes to Amnesty International!
Lisa: [with tears in her eyes] I've gotta go! [runs off]

"You don't need to shout at us! No one is on the other side of this issue!"
—Usual reaction to Britta being Britta, Community

"Sounds like a case of someone-wants-to-use-fringe-politics-to-make-herself-interesting-but-doesn't-want-to-do-anything... -itis."
Shirley to Britta, Community

"This is the most common of haters, and what most people picture when they picture hate mail. The Angsty Unfunner has spent too much time interacting on the Internet and has learned that thinking anything is funny is a sign of weakness... You probably won't be able to use this knowledge until you start your life as an Internet writer; I'm simply letting you know that people like PuddleOfAids are miserable black holes of joy even when they're in good moods."

Vanessa: Where's your [Christmas] tree?
Ryan: Uh, in the forest, where it belongs. There's a word for chopping down a perfectly healthy tree: murder.
Mike: [points at Ryan's wooden coffee table] So, what's the word for this wooden table here? Suicide?

"Why is everything with you a crusade? And annoying?"
Lydia to Elena, One Day at a Time (2017)