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Anime and Manga
"I am the rules."
— Gilgamesh, Carnival Phantasm
Comic Books
Al: Somebody hired you. Somebody can fire you.
Alan Greenspan: My name is Alan Greenspan. I don't work that way.
Alan Greenspan: My name is Alan Greenspan. I don't work that way.
— Marville
Fan Works
President Snow: All right then, tell me this: what am I supposed to do with a city of screaming hysteria, caused by your Victors, who should know better? How are you going to fix this mess?
Diana from District 8: Cancel the Games.
President Snow: That wouldn't solve my wasted arena problem, now would it?
Angus from District 10: You could run a regular Reaping instead, maybe. Or, well, an irregular one, bein' as it's the Quell, so you could make your own rules.
President Snow: (dismissively) I [already] make my own rules.
— The End is the Beginning is the End: The Quarter Quell
, from the We Must Be Killers fan fiction series.
, from the We Must Be Killers fan fiction series. Film — Animated
"I'm the king, I can do whatever I want!"
— Scar, The Lion King (1994)
"She [Madam Mim] only makes the rules so she can break them!"
Governor Ratcliffe: Lies! Lies! All of it! Murderous thieves ! There's not room for their kind in civilized society!
John Smith: But this is their land !
Governor Ratcliffe: THIS IS MY LAND ! I make the laws here.
John Smith: But this is their land !
Governor Ratcliffe: THIS IS MY LAND ! I make the laws here.
Film — Live-Action
"There's what, maybe five hundred people in this hospital? I could pump you full of bullets right now and I wouldn't be arrested. Everyone would lie for me — everyone who counts — otherwise all their own lies, everything that runs Sin City, it all comes tumbling down like a pack of cards."
— Senator Roark, Sin City
Light: I decide who dies, you obey me. Those are the rules.
Ryuk: And who do you think wrote the rules?
Ryuk: And who do you think wrote the rules?
"But nobody's gonna hang us for treason. We do the hanging."
— Kruger, Elysium
Nicholas Angel: With respect, sir, you can't just make people disappear.
Chief Inspector: [pretends to think] Yyyyyyyes I can. I'm the Chief Inspector.
Chief Inspector: [pretends to think] Yyyyyyyes I can. I'm the Chief Inspector.
— Hot Fuzz
"I can do anything, I’m the chief of police."
— Chief Martin Brody, Jaws
Darth Sidious: This turn of events is unfortunate. Begin landing your troops now.
Nute Gunray: My lord! Is that legal?
Darth Sidious: I will make it legal.
Nute Gunray: My lord! Is that legal?
Darth Sidious: I will make it legal.
Mace Windu: The Senate will decide your fate.
Darth Sidious: I AM the Senate!
Darth Sidious: I AM the Senate!
Aldo: Why were you there? To visit the city is forbidden.
Caesar: I know. I forbade it.
Aldo: Then why—?
Virgil: Aldo, if a King forbids his subjects to wear a crown, that doesn't mean he can't wear one himself.
Caesar: I know. I forbade it.
Aldo: Then why—?
Virgil: Aldo, if a King forbids his subjects to wear a crown, that doesn't mean he can't wear one himself.
This is my word, and as such it is beyond contestation.
— Prince Edward, A Knight's Tale
Literature
Integrity
Truth, loyalty are private virtues; kings
Do as they will.
Truth, loyalty are private virtues; kings
Do as they will.
— Atreus, Thyestes
"I had forgotten that you are only a common boy. How should you understand reasons of State? You must learn, child, that what would be wrong for you or for any of the common people is not wrong in a great Queen such as I. The weight of the world is on our shoulders. We must be freed from all rules."
— Jadis, The Magician's Nephew
Two types of people laugh at the law: those that break it and those that make it.
Greenyham: You can't do that!
Vetinari: Can I not? I am a tyrant. It's what we do.
Vetinari: Can I not? I am a tyrant. It's what we do.
Blaylock: You falsified the records.
Kotov: I amended them. Mister Surcouf’s physical Letter of Marque may be counterfeit, but so far as Imperial records are concerned, he is a legitimate Rogue Trader, and has been since his arrival on Anohkin.
Blaylock: This is outrageous. You cannot do this.
Kotov: I am an archmagos of the Adeptus Mechanicus. I can do whatever I want.
Kotov: I amended them. Mister Surcouf’s physical Letter of Marque may be counterfeit, but so far as Imperial records are concerned, he is a legitimate Rogue Trader, and has been since his arrival on Anohkin.
Blaylock: This is outrageous. You cannot do this.
Kotov: I am an archmagos of the Adeptus Mechanicus. I can do whatever I want.
Takadox: Makuta, look! I have the Brotherhood's tablet of transit! Under Brotherhood law, I must be spared!
*Makuta takes the tablet and looks at it before looking back at Takadox...and crushes it to dust within his grip*
Makuta: "Under Brotherhood law?" I am Brotherhood law!
*Makuta takes the tablet and looks at it before looking back at Takadox...and crushes it to dust within his grip*
Makuta: "Under Brotherhood law?" I am Brotherhood law!
— BIONICLE, "Downfall"
Live-Action TV
Daisy Duke: There's a law against carrying someone off and forcing them to marry you.
Pa Beaudry: Well now, we're the law around these here parts, Daisy gal, so you'd best just get on inside and get yourself all purtied up.
— The Dukes of Hazzard, "Daisy's Shotgun Wedding."
Joe: This kid's gold. If he keeps messing up [the challenge] it's gonna drive Sal crazy, so let's just make it a punishment for Sal.
Murr: I dunno, is that against the rules?
Q: What rules? We make the rules.
Joe: We are the rules.
Murr: I dunno, is that against the rules?
Q: What rules? We make the rules.
Joe: We are the rules.
— Impractical Jokers, "Water Torture"
"I am the king, I can do what I like!
Start up a war, or a big tax hike!
Got a French wife, she's a Catholic...
(Oh Lord!)
(Really, King Charles, we're not quite sure...)
Insolence! Is that how you talk to the crown?
I am the king, I'll just close parliament down!"
Start up a war, or a big tax hike!
Got a French wife, she's a Catholic...
(Oh Lord!)
(Really, King Charles, we're not quite sure...)
Insolence! Is that how you talk to the crown?
I am the king, I'll just close parliament down!"
— Horrible Histories, "English Civil War"
"I went from Rome to Greece so I could play them at their games,
In 67AD you know I won Olympic fame!
I told them to include a contest based on poetry,
Not much good for sportsmen no, but brilliant for me! Ha Ha!
Crashed my racing chariot, but still awarded gold,
Hey, my Olympics, my rules, to argue would be bold!
I won every medal that was up for grabs,
The crowd loved it, well they had to or I would have had them stabbed! Okay?!"
In 67AD you know I won Olympic fame!
I told them to include a contest based on poetry,
Not much good for sportsmen no, but brilliant for me! Ha Ha!
Crashed my racing chariot, but still awarded gold,
Hey, my Olympics, my rules, to argue would be bold!
I won every medal that was up for grabs,
The crowd loved it, well they had to or I would have had them stabbed! Okay?!"
— Emperor Nero, Horrible Histories, "Flame"
Cap. Sheridan: "Diplomatic immunity" only applies when the subject is charged with a crime. So far, Mr. Morden hasn't been charged. We're holding him in, uh, protective custody.
Vir: Protecting him from what??
Sheridan: I haven't decided yet. Good day, Mr. Cotto.
Vir: Protecting him from what??
Sheridan: I haven't decided yet. Good day, Mr. Cotto.
"There are laws. There are laws of Time, and once upon a time there were people in charge of those laws, but they died. They all died. Do you know who that leaves? Me! It's taken me all these years to realize the Laws of Time are mine, and they will obey me!"
— Tenth Doctor, Doctor Who ("The Waters of Mars")
Lt. Blue: You don't like soldiers much, do you?
Twelth Doctor: You don't need to be liked, you've got all the guns.
Twelth Doctor: You don't need to be liked, you've got all the guns.
"THE KING CAN DO AS HE LIKES!"
"We can cheat. Why? Cause it's my show!"
— Dave Benson Phillips, Get Your Own Back
"How do you plan to implement this 'protocol', Doctor? Mister Tuvok doesn't have a security team. Both the brigs have been destroyed. And with the internal forcefields offline, you'll have a hell of a time keeping me confined. You'd better grab a phaser, because before I give up command you'll have to shoot me."
— Cap. Janeway, Star Trek: Voyager ("Year of Hell Pt. 2")
Arjun: I thought surprise visits were against the rules.
Chrisjen: Fuck the rules, I'm in charge.
Music
I'm the new folk hero of the Ku Klux Klan
My cop friends think that's fine
You can get away with murder if you've got a badge
My cop friends think that's fine
You can get away with murder if you've got a badge
— Dead Kennedys, "I Fought the Law"
Genocide?
Who will drag me to court?
There´s no crime if you do not get caught
I am the law! We burn!
Who will drag me to court?
There´s no crime if you do not get caught
I am the law! We burn!
— Sabaton, "We Burn"
Print Media
”Authoritarianism is always an ideology of inequality: I make the rules, you follow them, I change them at will and punish those who disobey, or, if I feel like it, those who do [obey] because I can.”
— Rebecca Solnit, “Call It What It Was: A Coup Attempt”, The Guardian
, The Guardian Stand-up Comedy
"I just bought a two-bedroom house, but I think I get to decide how many bedrooms there are, don't you? 'Fuck you, real estate lady! This bedroom has an oven in it! This bedroom's got a lot of people sitting around watching TV. This bedroom's over in that guy's house! Sir, you have one of my bedrooms, are you aware? Don't decorate it!'"
Tabletop Games
It is Morathi and Morathi alone of the Witch Elves who is allowed to wield magical power; like her son, Morathi feels no shame in creating laws and traditions for the control of others, whilst ignoring them herself.
— Warhammer: Dark Elves Army Book (6th Edition)
"Know the laws of Andoran and do not exempt authorities from the application of the law."
— paladin code tenet for the Oath of the People's Council, Pathfinder
, Pathfinder Video Games
"When you get to where I am, you can just create your own truths. Anytime you want. Kay Faraday is the culprit. That was the truth I simply manufactured out of thin air."
— Blaise Debeste, Ace Attorney Investigations 2, The Forgotten Turnabout
"I am the queen of this kingdom. And the queen IS the law. As such, I need not follow the laws that are in place. I can make and break them at will!"
— Ga'ran Sigatar Khura'in, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice, Turnabout Revolution
"They're telling me I oughta stop making these pre-recorded messages. That gave me an idea: make more' pre-recorded messages! I pay the bills around here, I can talk about the control group all damn day!"
— Cave Johnson, Portal 2
"When due process fails us, we really do live in a world of terror."
— JC Denton, Deus Ex
"We could shit on you from such a height, you'd think God himself had crapped on you."
— Officer Frank Tenpenny, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
Ocelot: I don't approve of your methods.
Col. Volgin: I don't need your approval. I'm in command here.
Col. Volgin: I don't need your approval. I'm in command here.
Gatatog Uvenk: You abandon many traditions to get your way. Dangerous.
Urdnot Wrex: Speak when spoken to, Uvenk. I'll drag your clan to glory whether it likes it or not.
Urdnot Wrex: Speak when spoken to, Uvenk. I'll drag your clan to glory whether it likes it or not.
"Did you know that, legally speaking, my word is the same as Tunon's word unless he contradicts my word as Fatebinder? Rhogalus says the legal term for that is Proxy Decisis. Calio says the legal term is 'fuck you, I'm the law'."
— The Fatebinder, Tyranny
Arfoire: As a CPU, you should treat prisoners according to the law!
Uzume: Law? Like I give a crap! I'm the CPU of this nation and that means I AM the law! Whatever I do is the freakin' law! Even if I beat you to a bloody, dead pulp, as long as it's cool in my book, that's all that matters, right? HUH?! ANSWER ME!
Uzume: Law? Like I give a crap! I'm the CPU of this nation and that means I AM the law! Whatever I do is the freakin' law! Even if I beat you to a bloody, dead pulp, as long as it's cool in my book, that's all that matters, right? HUH?! ANSWER ME!
Mitch Connor: New rule: any damage I take goes to the Coon
The Coon: WHAT?! (Mitch recovers from the damage he took, redirecting it to the Coon) OW, FUCK!
Mitch Connor: Oh, Status Effects too. (Deflects the Bleeding status that the Coon inflicted back)
The Coon: What the… what the hell?!
Human Kite: Mitch, stop! This is cruel!
Mitch Connor: No can do, Human Kite. It's the rules.
The Coon: WHAT?! (Mitch recovers from the damage he took, redirecting it to the Coon) OW, FUCK!
Mitch Connor: Oh, Status Effects too. (Deflects the Bleeding status that the Coon inflicted back)
The Coon: What the… what the hell?!
Human Kite: Mitch, stop! This is cruel!
Mitch Connor: No can do, Human Kite. It's the rules.
Web Animation
"You're the king, dumb-dumb. You can do whatever you want."
— Cardinal Wolsey to Henry VIII, OverSimplified
America: The banana industry has been incredibly lucrative during this last century, and I want to control it. Among other reasons.
Guatemala: No way, you can't do that.
America: Actually, I can. The Monroe Doctrine and the Roosevelt Corollary assert my right to intervene in Latin American countries to protect American interests.
Cuba: But you came up with those doctrines!
America: Yeah… it's 'cause I'm the best country ever!
Guatemala: No way, you can't do that.
America: Actually, I can. The Monroe Doctrine and the Roosevelt Corollary assert my right to intervene in Latin American countries to protect American interests.
Cuba: But you came up with those doctrines!
America: Yeah… it's 'cause I'm the best country ever!
Webcomics
"...Look, kid, my first name is Boss and my last name is Leader. Rules only apply to me when they're looking for JOBS. 'Cause I MAKE or BREAK the rules. SON."
— Boss Leader, Paranatural, Chapter 4 Page 120
General Bala-Amin: You're familiar with Celeschul's "Special Assets" law, I presume?
Commodore Tagon: I better be. I wrote the stupid thing.
General Bala-Amin: Then you knew you were breaking it when you left retirement and took command of a company of mercenaries in service to a foreign power.
Commore Tagon: I wrote it. I can re-write it.
General Bala-Amin: That's not actually how law works.
Commodore Tagon: I know members of the legislature who would disagree with you under oath.
General Bala-Amin: Okay, that's not how law works for regular people.
Commodore Tagon: I better be. I wrote the stupid thing.
General Bala-Amin: Then you knew you were breaking it when you left retirement and took command of a company of mercenaries in service to a foreign power.
Commore Tagon: I wrote it. I can re-write it.
General Bala-Amin: That's not actually how law works.
Commodore Tagon: I know members of the legislature who would disagree with you under oath.
General Bala-Amin: Okay, that's not how law works for regular people.
"I am my own justification. So say I. This is the law of kings. Either make it your own — or know your place."
Web Original
"He contradicts his own rules! He says 'no stealing', then he goes and steals from me! He says 'no griefing', then he ruins the entire– look at that! (points at a massive crater in the ground) That is Dream! That is Dream! (Beat) So here's what we're doing today. We were sick of it, you see, chat. We were sick, so we moved to a new home. L'Manburg, alright? [...] L'Manburg, oh, how it was superior, and Dream didn't like that. The power left his grasp!– one might say. So now he's gone– he's gone insane."
— Tommy on Dream, Dream SMP
Ravandil: And that's a fucking crime?!
Dwarf king: It should be. Wait... I'm the KING! NOW IT IS!
Dwarf king: It should be. Wait... I'm the KING! NOW IT IS!
Alpharad: I think Caleb's in last, but I'm just having a little fun with this. (Throws a real life Blue Shell at him)
Caleb: I'M NOT IN FIRST!
Alpharad: I KNOW, BUT IT'S FUN!
Caleb: I'M NOT IN FIRST!
Alpharad: I KNOW, BUT IT'S FUN!
Western Animation
"When you are king, you may decide what is and is not right. But I am king now, and what I say is law!"
— King Charlatan, My Little Pony 'n Friends, "Baby, It's Cold Outside, Part 1"
"It's a friendship school! With its own rules! I should know; I wrote the book!"
— Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic
Vizier: I just heard you plan to allow that ice trash, Cryos, to come to our world!
Prince Pyrus: He called, and I said yes. What's the big deal?
Vizier: Our worlds have been at war for centuries. This is not for you alone to decide! Our law dictates—
Prince Pyrus: You forget. As prince, I am the law!
Prince Pyrus: He called, and I said yes. What's the big deal?
Vizier: Our worlds have been at war for centuries. This is not for you alone to decide! Our law dictates—
Prince Pyrus: You forget. As prince, I am the law!
Real Life
"L'état? C'est moi!"
— Louis XIV
It is more dangerous that even a guilty person should be punished without the forms of law than that he should escape.
"Where my Guards appear, there is no room for democracy."
— Kaiser Wilheim II
The world is full of injustice, and those who profit by injustice are in a position to administer rewards and punishments. The rewards go to those who invent ingenious justifications for inequality, the punishments to those who try to remedy it.
— Bertrand Russell, Sceptical Essays
The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it's good-bye to the Bill of Rights.
— H. L. Mencken, On Politics: A Carnival of Buncombe
"The illegal we do at once; the unconstitutional takes a little longer."
— Henry Kissenger, parodying the Army Corps of Engineers' motto
"I'm the president, and you're not."
"Screw State! State's always on the side of the blacks. The Hell with them!"
— Richard Nixon, White House tape transcripts from 1972
"My library is filled with UN condemnations."
—Chilean President Augusto Pinochet
"By definition, as a Prime Minister I cannot be a liar."
— Silvio Berlusconi
"I am the Federal Government."
— Tom DeLay, when told to put out his cigar in a restaurant
"To have 'the powers that be' speak to you directly, and it be as you feared...To have very powerful figures look at you in the eye and say, 'You’re right in what you’re saying, but we’re going to crunch you anyway.'"
— Yanis Varoufakis, Greek finance minister
Essentially, while I am allowed to exaggerate for comic effect, I am not allowed actively to lie. And it struck me as strange, as I watched the eggs rain down on Conservatives this month, that my standup comedian’s lowly standup comedy routines are held accountable to higher legal standards of truth and decency than, for example, a prime minister’s conference speech.
"I had a little concern about the adjacent nightlife, and he [Mayor Giuliani] looked me in the eye and he said, 'It’ll be gone,' and I said, 'uh, Mr. Mayor, you know there is the American Civil Liberties Union, and I mean, they’re just not gone.'
He said, 'Look me in the eye.' And I said, 'what?' He said, 'Look me in the eye.' I said, 'Okay.' He said, 'They will be gone.'
(shrugs) Scared me."
He said, 'Look me in the eye.' And I said, 'what?' He said, 'Look me in the eye.' I said, 'Okay.' He said, 'They will be gone.'
(shrugs) Scared me."
— Michael Eisner on Disney's renting of the New Amsterdam Theater, New York City
When the political elite can act with impunity, it becomes a corrosive salt eating away at the framework of democracy. It is an ill omen.
— Arshad M. Khan, U.S. academic
(before becoming Speaker) I refer to standing order 268, sub category B, paragraph 12, regarding that a question cannot be asked the way the member had asked it. (after becoming Speaker, addressing similar standing orders) There is no point of order.
