Quotes: Said Bookism

[Pastorek's] characters snap, say impatiently, coo, snap, inform crisply, say softly, address, say with a sigh, blurt rudely, reply gruffly, sooth, assure, inform, remind suspiciously, tell indignantly, agree, demand in a dismayed whisper, reply grimly, inform matter-of-factly, say surprisedly, say with a sigh, inquire gruffly, protest, inform brusquely, say in a controlled tone, accuse, respond, call, exclaim, ask, inform, declare, and add. In the first chapter alone.

"I'm exclaiming," he exclaimed. And that's when he knew that he was in a shitty novel.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.
"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.
"Why?" I exclaimed.
"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.
"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.
"Really?" he whimpered.
"Yeah." I roared.

I don’t care what your English teacher told you, Tara, “said” works just fine.
The Half-World's MST of the above quote

Unskilled writers use "said" and "asked".
Amateur writers use "whispered", "shouted" and "questioned"
Skilled writers use "demonstrated", "ejaculated", "murmured", "explained", "queried" and "demanded"
Masterful writers use "said" and "asked".

We would never ever say, "Snape scathed" — we would say, "Snape said scathingly."